Page 62 of Reckless
“I’m sure he’s nicer than any of the boys you’re seeing,” Mom muttered, “though he is way too old for you.”
At that, I nearly choked on the small piece of carrot I’d taken. To cover it up, I went for something to drink and asked, “Speaking of boys, what about you and Ollie?”
My mom stopped cutting, shooting a glare my way. “What on earth are you talking about?”
Ollie and Jacob were upstairs in his office, so I felt confident in talking at my normal volume, not bothering to whisper, “You and Ollie. There’s something going on there, Mom. Come on. Don’t deny it. I’m eighteen. I might be young, but I’m not blind.”
She set down her knife, leaning on the counter as she stared hard at me, her green eyes vivid. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jaz. Nothing is going on between Oliver and me. Our relationship is purely professional, and it always will be.”
“So having wine with him is part of your job description?”
“We both need to learn to relax,” she explained, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“Uh-huh, sure, sure. So, since I’m a murder suspect, can I have some wine, then?”
Mom shook her head once, unimpressed with my antics. “Not happening, honey. Nice try.”
I shrugged. “I just figured I’d ask, but seriously, something’s going on.”
She said nothing in response, but I could tell she wanted to argue with me further. The more she said nothing, the more I believed in what I’d said. I’d caught her and Ollie sharing some strange, almost intimate moments these past few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted my mom to be happy; I wanted her to date. But Oliver Fitzpatrick? We weren’t a part of his world, plus, she was his employee. The town would never let him live it down.
Although, I guess the same could be said of me being with Vaughn and even Archer. I didn’t have money, I didn’t have the prestige or any recognizable last name.
It took my mom over an hour to cook dinner. She made pork chops, steamed vegetables, and mashed potatoes. The long table in the dining room was set up with four plates, of which I helped her do. It was going to be strange, but all four of us would eat together. Honestly, I couldn’t recall a time when we’d ever eaten dinner with Ollie. He always took his meals up to his office, or worked straight through dinner. Usually, it was just Mom and me.
Not tonight. Tonight, it was Ollie, Jacob, Mom, and me.
We had some weird seating positions. Ollie sat at the head of the table, Jacob to his left. Mom sat to his right, and I was beside her. I got to stare across the table at an empty seat, since the table was needlessly long, but I supposed that was better than staring at Jacob and letting my mind fill with ideas.
The meal was silent, for the most part, the sounds of silverware scraping on plates the only noise filling our ears. I threw some glances at Jacob every now and then, but I didn’t let my gaze linger too long. Mom was busy trying to avoid looking at Ollie at all cost, lest she prove me right in what I’d said before.
This was an awkward dinner, and I couldn’t imagine how much more awkward things would be if my other guys were here, too. Dante and Vaughn, my two dark demons, one who knew how to play nice and one who just barely contained the monster within. And then there was Archer. With everyone at the table knowing what had happened, I bet he’d be crawling in his skin at this dinner table, too.
For a few moments, I could pretend this was normal. That the three other people sitting at the table were my family. They were, in a way, my Midpark family, the ones who were on my side, no matter what, the people who would do anything to keep me safe.
Alas, life had other things in store for me.
Chapter Nineteen – Archer
Who knew taking things slow would actually mean taking things slow? Jaz and I texted all the time, but it wasn’t the same as talking with her, as being near her, watching her, listening to her laugh and losing what little I had of myself these days in her. I knew why we had to take things slow; it wasn’t like Jaz and I had a baggage-free past. We had been through a lot, both together and separately, so moving slowly when it came to each other made sense.
And, of course, taking into consideration the rest of Midpark, it made even more sense to only be amicable in public with each other. I could not imagine the gossip that would fly if everyone knew Jaz and I were together. If the truth got out and our relationship was made public, they’d crucify her.
Or worse.
And when it came to me…well, I didn’t really care what they thought of me. I never did. Every decision I’d ever made wasn’t to protect myself; it was to shield my mother, to help her. Nothing was ever about me.
Yet I’d made mistakes. So many of them, in fact, when it came to Jaz. None of them I was proud of. Heck, a huge part of me still blamed myself for everything that was happening to her. Deetra and Chelsea…those girls had been Brittany’s best friends for years, her mini-mes and her wannabes. They were gone now, dead, and I knew the town wanted someone to blame.
I’d be damned if that someone was Jaz, and I made sure to tell Detective Wilde exactly what happened at the party. Jaz had been with me the whole time. Though I kept the fact that we’d wandered off and made out for what felt like hours, I did mention to him how his daughter had shown up.
Oh, Detective Wilde hadn’t liked hearing that, and I dare say the questioning ended quite abruptly after I brought Bobbi into it. He didn’t like the thought of her hanging out with Jaz.
You know, I still couldn’t believe they were friends, but I guess I didn’t know everything about Jaz. I wasn’t with her all day, every day. We had one class together, and that was it. It wasn’t nearly enough. If I could change my schedule now, if I could be with her all day, watch her going through the motions, I would. I could never get enough of Jaz.
As the days blurred into weeks, I found myself thinking about my mom a lot, how she’d told me to find my own happiness, like it was that easy. As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t; it never had been, and yet it was something I wanted so desperately right now. To be happy—utterly and truly happy, with no regrets—could I ever be like that?
Frankly, I didn’t think I deserved it, not after messing up so badly. Jaz…I hurt her, in more ways than one, and knowing that hurt me. As wussy as it might sound, my heart ached when I imagined what I put her through, what I did to her and what I let Brittany do to her.
