Page 68 of Reckless
Once the condom was rolled onto his dick, Dante crawled on the bed, his knees further opening mine as he positioned himself between me. His arms held him up, his face hovering above mine, azure stare never once leaving me as he pushed in, inch after inch, filling me up in the slowest possible way.
My eyelids slammed shut, and I moaned. I couldn’t help it. The first few moments of feeling so full were…something else. A reminder of what it was like to be one with someone else, my body telling me I wasn’t complete unless there was a dick inside of me.
I know. Crazy. But like I’d mentioned on multiple occasions before, these guys made me all sorts of horny, okay? So don’t judge me.
Dante took his own speed, his hips thrusting in a way that made me squirm. My body was hot, and the sounds that came from the both of us filled the room, a symphony of sweat and sex. I never wanted him to stop.
If surrendering to the devil was supposed to be bad and yet felt this good…I didn’t want to be an angel. I wanted to make the great fall with him, turn my white wings black, and revel in whatever darkness he’d invite me to.
Darkness had never felt so good.
Chapter Twenty-One – Vaughn
If I could bring Jaz over to my house every day, I would. Alas, I didn’t come from a normal family, and that one time had been hard enough to wrangle out of Markus. Unless it was business, no one came onto our estate. Not for studying, not for simply hanging out, and not for sex.
Ever since then, Jaz had dominated my mind more than she had before, which I didn’t even realize was possible. I thought about her during class when I should at least attempt to focus, I dreamed of her at night—in vivid detail, too. She’d come out of nowhere to knock me off my feet, and I’d found her presence to become reassuring and I looked forward to seeing her each day.
Dante had been so adamant about seeing her after school today, so desperate in his craving of her. How was I supposed to just sit there and not invite myself along? I just as urgently needed her.
My family was full of obsessions. The obsession to kill, the obsession to dominate, the obsession to own someone else utterly and completely. Until Jaz, I would’ve bet my life that I’d never experience any feelings like that. I was never interested, never even thought twice about it.
Then Jaz came, and like a hurricane, she destroyed everything I thought I knew. I couldn’t say what it was. She was beautiful, yes, but so were other girls in Midpark. Nowhere near her level, I’d say, but it wasn’t about her looks. Not when it came to me. What I felt inside, it was…it was instinctual. It was like something inside of me just knew: she was mine. She was meant to be mine.
Apparently she was meant to belong to others as well, but that was neither here nor there. Some of my other brothers share their women, so I knew relationships like that could last, if everyone was truly on board.
Would she be on board for me, after we graduated Midpark? I owed the family, and beyond what I owed them, I would be working for them. It felt like almost too much to ask, but…but I wanted her to remain in my life. I didn’t want her to vanish. The thought of losing her hurt, and I’d never considered myself vulnerable to such feelings before.
Jaz made me feel. She confused me. She made me want things I’d never wanted in my life, yearn for the one thing I knew I’d never have: a normal life. A normal future. If Jaz somehow agreed to stay with me, she’d never have a normal future, either. Was that something she’d want?
A dark thought came to me then, and I mulled it over as I sat in the back of the car. I’d already spoken to the driver, told him where to go. I’d catch up to Dante and Jaz soon enough, but right now it was all me and my head.
What was that dark thought, you might ask? It was something one of my older brothers might’ve done.
I could force her to stay with me. I could give her no other choice in the matter. I could say she owed me, that I’d been not only helping her but helping Dante, lord those two things over her head to get her to do what I wanted. It’s something Markus would do, I think, if Markus ever let his darkness free.
Could I really do that, though? I wasn’t like my brothers. I wouldn’t want Jaz to be miserable if I took away her freedom. That alone separated me from most of my family, I think. Sometimes their obsession did not follow in the footsteps of love, or vice versa. Sometimes it was just an obsession, through and through.
I mulled it over during the car ride to the motel, lost in the dark sea of my own thoughts. Jaz would not like to be put in a cage, and I bet her spirit would wither and die. Some might like the comfort of a cage, but I highly doubted she would be one of them.
When the car pulled up to the side of the motel, I spotted Jacob’s vehicle idling outside beside Dante’s bike. It was good he didn’t follow them inside; I wasn’t as close to him as I was with Dante, so I wasn’t certain if I could perform with him in the room, watching.
Not a thought I ever thought I’d have, I’d admit. Things had changed all around, apparently. I would even go so far as to say Dante and I worked quite well together, even though he tended to be messy and act without thinking. Doing what he did to Deetra and Chelsea—ignoring their unfortunate murders—all for Jaz; it was something I could respect. Those girls had it out for Jaz just as much as Brittany had.
Dante could be Jaz’s wild one, and I could be her quiet, reserved one that wasn’t afraid of getting dirty when the situation called for it. Sometimes you needed both.
I got out of the car, leaving my school stuff in the back seat. I wouldn’t need any of it inside. The driver drove off, leaving me there, but I knew he’d only circle back and wait for me to come back out. Days like this I had to learn to enjoy, because once I graduated, they would be in short supply. I wouldn’t be as free as I was now, and I hated considering myself free now.
I wasn’t. My heart beat for the family, my blood pumped for them. The life I’d lived, the things I’d seen in my eighteen years, it was enough to sober up anyone, to force you to grow up fast and face the realities most were too ignorant to see, especially when they were young. The world ran on two things: money and blood. Wars had been had, civilizations wiped out by greed, and it wouldn’t change anytime soon. For as long as there was someone to pay my family to complete certain jobs, we would be there, ready to do it, our morality shut off.
I did not look at Jacob as I walked by, but I knew the man watched me. He knew enough about my family—too much, some might say—and, in a way, it was my family that had wronged him three years ago. Zane and Thorn, Oliver Fitzpatrick’s sons, were blood relatives of mine, even if they weren’t raised within the confines of the estate. Whether or not Jacob knew that was beyond any guesswork of mine, but it didn’t matter. Markus was made aware of his attempts at snooping, so Jacob best be careful from here on out. Even I could not protect him should he step on my brother’s toes.
The motel where Dante was staying wasn’t technically in Midpark, which was why it could get away with looking so dingy and old. To say it was an eyesore would do a disservice to other eyesores in the community. From the mostly vacant parking lot, it looked like hardly anyone was here right now, and I wondered how much of it was currently rented out.
Dante had no one else in Midpark. Jacob had gotten him into the high school with fudged records, while I took care of his lodging. Without us, Dante wouldn’t even be here, and where would that leave us today?
But the overzealous, leather-loving man had only acted to protect Jaz, so I had to keep that in mind. When he went off the rails, he went off the rails for his girl. For my girl. Our girl.
Hmm. Still wasn’t used to thinking along those lines, and I hoped it would grow easier in time. It didn’t appear as if Jaz was going to choose, and I was far too smitten with her to force a choice like that on her. And, as I mentioned before, I never wanted her to hate me. If I forced her to choose—just like if I took away her freedom and made her stay with me—she would absolutely grow to hate me, loathe me with her entire being.
