Page 37 of Voyeur
I liked Zoey Marbella.
Chapter Eleven – Zoey
Eventually I got used to the routine. Carter would watch me during the day and even some nights, meet up with Roman at the Dollhouse when I worked Tuesdays and Thursdays. It wasn’t like I enjoyed being babysat like a child, like someone neither man trusted, but I couldn’t fight the way I grew weak when I was around them, how my thoughts always ended up in the gutter.
How could they not, when I was constantly surrounded by two sex gods with faces and dicks that could kill?
But then, just when I started to get used to the grind, something strange happened. Carter stopped showing up at my apartment, leaving me to wonder just what the hell happened. Of course, I didn’t have either his or Roman’s number, so it wasn’t like I could call either of them and ask. Maybe I was just being silly.
It was one Thursday night when I was leaving my apartment to go to work, when I met Lake in the hall. It looked like he was just coming up from taking out trash or something, for he was empty-handed as he headed from the elevator to his apartment. When his blue gaze landed on me, though, his feet stopped immediately. His blonde hair had gotten longer, and since he hadn’t gotten it cut, it was perfectly cute and messy in every single way.
The perfect length to run my hands through, really.
Not a thought I should have, I knew, since Carter and Roman wanted to dictate everything that went between my legs, but still. Lake was a reminder of what life could be like if everything was normal, and for whatever strange reason, I liked the reminder.
“Hey,” he said, reaching to rub the back of his neck. He and I hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time together lately, since Carter was always here, it seemed. “Your boyfriend not here anymore?” When I only blinked, shocked that he’d bring him up—especially so soon—Lake quickly shook his head and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s none of my business who—”
Maybe it was because I couldn’t take his fumbling, or maybe it was for another reason entirely, but I cut in and said, “Carter’s not my boyfriend. He’s… well, he’s more like a babysitter than anything else.” A babysitter, a bodyguard, someone to keep me in line, whatever. Same thing.
Of course, it was when I said it that I started wondering how thin the walls actually were. Had Lake heard Carter fucking me against the wall? He was my neighbor, but the wall Carter took me on was not a shared wall, so maybe not.
Lake’s expression appeared dubious, and he questioned, “A babysitter? For you? Why on earth would you need a babysitter?”
Since he still stood awkwardly a good ten feet away from me, I took a few steps closer to him, hugging my jacket closed. I wore my typical pink sneakers, along with shorts and a jacket to cover everything underneath—my work outfit, basically. My work outfit was not something I would ever be caught dead strolling around in.
When I said nothing right away, he guessed, “Your parents?”
Yes, saying Carter was sent from my parents to keep an eye on me would be the simplest explanation, wouldn’t it? I came from money, ran away from it and tried to leave it all behind, but my blasted parents just couldn’t let me go.
But it would be a lie, and right now, I didn’t want to lie to him. Lake didn’t deserve that, especially since he’d gotten what was basically the cold shoulder from me the last two weeks. After our almost-kiss, it wasn’t something he deserved. This one… I meant it when I said he deserved so much more.
Still, even though I didn’t want to lie to him, telling him the truth would be too much, and I knew he’d look at me differently if I told him everything about Roman and Carter. I said the only thing I could: “Yeah, you could say that. I guess I’m a bit of a troublemaker when left to my own devices.” I shrugged, giving him a small smile, wishing I could come clean.
Could I? Even assuming Lake would still want to speak with me after knowing the truth, what would Roman do?
He’d probably have Lake strung up and skinned, or something. Shot to death, his body tied down with weights, and then tossed in a lake somewhere.
Well, that got dark fast, didn’t it?
Lake grinned, and it was good to see the dimples in his cheeks again. Those dimples were cute, and I felt the need to touch them, but I held back. I had no idea what it was about those tiny things, but they made me go crazy.
“I can see it,” he told me, still grinning, still wearing those dimples proudly.
“Can you?” I asked, glaring at him in what I hoped was a playful way. Not a real glare, but a look that meant so much more. Was it wrong to have feelings for multiple guys at the same time? I mean, in elementary school I had crushes on different boys, but that wasn’t the same. I didn’t really talk to them. Here, now… I actually felt my heart being pulled in several directions at once. That couldn’t be normal.
Lake could give me a normal life, and Roman and Carter… the opposite. The absolute opposite.
I wanted both at the same time. A normal life, but also one that was filled with displays of dominance and possession, obsession in its rawest, most carnal form. I wanted to be free to make my own decisions, but also under someone else’s thumb.
Fuck. I needed to get a handle on myself.
“Totally,” he said.
Even though the last thing I wanted to do was leave Lake’s side and go to work, that’s exactly what I had to do. “I have to go to work,” I told him. “But it was really nice to see you tonight, Lake.” I didn’t bother to hide the wistfulness in my voice, instead letting it coat every single word, hoping Lake heard it.
He stuck his hands in his jean pockets, looking sheepish as he blushed a bit. “It was,” he said. “Maybe, on another night when you don’t have to work, we could hang out again.” Lake must’ve realized what he was suggesting, for in the next moment he was hurriedly adding, “I mean, if you want. If you’re not too busy with that babysitter of yours—”
Hanging out with him would be dangerous, I knew, and yet before I left, I still said, “I’d like that.”
