Page 18 of Voyeur
Of course, no one was in yet. The doors hadn’t opened for the patrons tonight yet. Crystal was working, and she told me to go up on stage and get a feel for it. Practicing with her in her apartment—and in conjunction alone in mine—was not the same as actually being on the stage, swinging around that pole yourself.
It was something that took work, and a hell of a lot more practice than two days. Because of that, I didn’t plan on focusing on the pole too much. No way would I ever be able to hoist myself up and twirl around it like some of these girls could; that took practice and a lot more muscle than I had.
The truth was most of these women could probably beat me up with one hand.
I held onto the pole, spinning around it once, slowly. That—along with using the pole as a backdrop to my dancing—would be my extent of using it. It wouldn’t be the sexiest dance anyone here had ever seen, but everyone had to start out somewhere.
Crystal stood at the base of the stage down in front, watching me. I kept my question to myself while learning moves from her; somehow, asking her if she was jealous of Roman’s attention didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to alienate her, because she was the reason I got this job, after all. At least, not unless I was certain she was envious of me.
As I moved my hips a bit, basically a toned-down practice of what my real dance would be, I saw Autumn walk up, staring at me with eyes of fury. She folded her arms across her chest as she stood beside Crystal, not even glancing at the busty blonde, her attention all on me. “Get down,” she said.
“She wants to dance,” Crystal spoke, glancing at her. “I taught her a bit.”
“I don’t care what she wants to do. I don’t let any new girls dance—”
I slowed to a stop, clutching the pole as I listened to Crystal and Autumn go at it.
Crystal shook her head. “That’s not what this is about, is it? It’s about him. Just admit it, it’s okay. Roman doesn’t want her up there, and anything he wants he gets out of you like a bitch in heat.”
The girls prepping the tables froze, their eyes widening. No one, it seemed, could believe Crystal went there.
Autumn forced a smile. “As soon as the banks process it, Roman will own the Dollhouse. He’ll own you, and he’ll own me.” She glanced around the dark club, making sure to give every girl a glare, landing on me last and saving the worst one for me. “Right now, his attention is on you, Zoey, so you will do nothing that makes him upset.”
“I’m dancing,” I stated, letting go of the pole and setting the same hand on my hip, cocking it out with as much attitude as I could muster. “You’re going to let me dance, or I’m going to quit. Do you think Roman would like hearing how you forced me to walk out?”
I was actually pulling this from my ass, not knowing what she’d say or even if Roman would be angry I walked out and quit. Go big or go home, you know? All in or all out, nothing in between.
Autumn glared at me, her dark gaze narrowed. It was a tense, long moment before she muttered, “Fine, but any repercussions for this will be on your head, not mine.” As she spun on her three-inch heels and stormed away, I could’ve sworn I heard her mutter something about how we were all stupid girls.
Jamie walked over, shaking her head. “Damn. I’ve never seen someone put her in her place before. That was something else.”
Almost begrudgingly, Crystal said, “She could be right, though.” Those blue eyes turned to me. “Roman might get pissed at this, especially if he wants you to be his personal girl.”
His personal girl. Was that what this was about?
Oh, well. It was too late now. I was going to dance, and I was going to dance my ass off until Roman walked in and saw me on this stage, shaking it in front of everyone. Defiance had never been my specialty, but for Roman I made an exception; he made me feel the indescribable need to rebel.
Something which I’d never admit to anyone, a secret deep within my soul… I wanted to rebel, and then I wanted Roman to put me in my place, show me who’s boss.
That was wrong, wasn’t it? I wasn’t even sure what kind of kink that was, but I can say with certainty that Bryan had always been so vanilla. Yeah, vanilla with me while screwing my little sister behind my back. As vanilla as a cheater could possibly be.
The only reason I got off the stage was to help finish setting everything up before the front doors were unlocked and opened for the clients. I saw a few middle-aged men funnel in—more than were here on Tuesday, but still nowhere near the number of people who came on Friday or Saturday night.
No Roman, though. Not yet.
My nerves were anxious, my stomach in knots. I’d never done anything like what I was prepared to do, but I guess there was a first time for everything. A first time for rebellion, for running away and trying to find myself a new life; a first time in falling for the danger and the dark. For a man like Roman.
I wanted to show that man I wouldn’t just sit back and do whatever the hell he wanted me to, that I refused to allow him to literally control aspects of my life when I hardly knew him. Roman thought I’d take it like a good girl, but I guess that was the problem. All my life, I’d masqueraded as a good girl, doing what I was told when I was told, constantly proving myself to my parents, doing whatever I could to avoid their disappointment.
And look at where it got me: here, in the Dollhouse, basically alone.
No, fuck being good. I wanted to be bad, so naughty it would hurt.
Another woman swung herself around on the stage, undulating her hips with the beat when Roman and Carter walked in. Roman wore a sleek black suit, and he was in the process of adjusting his cufflinks when he strolled in, looking as intense and sexy as ever, his dark hair and stare like a magnet to me. Beside him, Carter was just as handsome, the tall, well-built muscles between the two.
Any straight woman would melt under the stares of those two. Any woman would want to be on the receiving end of their carnal lust, even if it wouldn’t last. And, hell, I knew whatever strange fascination he had with me wouldn’t last long, but nothing worthwhile in life ever did. All the good things, all the passion and the heat, ended faster than you ever wanted it to.
It was officially time for me to embrace it.
