Page 42 of Black Hearts
“Juliet, I—” As much as the man so obviously wanted to stay, I also knew he probably felt obligated to return to the house.
But, darn it, he wasn’t going to go.
I pushed him off me, and I labored to get off the bed, pointedly ignoring the pain in my stomach as I went over to my nightstand and pulled open the small drawer. Among other things bought while the guys went shopping, there was one particular item that would be useful in this case.
Or, rather, one box with a bunch of smaller things inside it.
I pulled one out and turned to face Theo on the bed. He’d watched me go, curious but not enough to stop me. It was then his gaze fell to the small square wrapper in my hand, and if I wasn’t mistaken, the man blushed a bit.
Or maybe I was blushing, but I was too desperate for this man to stay longer that I didn’t notice. Either way, one or both of us definitely got heated at the sight of the wrapper.
I’d never seen a condom before the guys got the box for me. Since I didn’t have my pills, and I’d already taken the morning after pill after being with Markus, they’d figured condoms would be a nice surprise—AKA a good way to continue to be close with me in a very naked way.
And, maybe not surprisingly, they’d been gentle with me. They’d taken control of the darkness in themselves and reined it in, even if it was only for the time being.
“Uh,” was all Theo could say, which left me to do the talking—and I think we both knew I wasn’t good at talking about this sort of thing.
“Unless you don’t want to,” I quickly said. I gave my back to him to hide my embarrassment, wondering if I’d been too forward by taking it out and showing him. Maybe I should’ve broached the subject differently? Although, I had no idea how the heck I could’ve done it differently.
I went to shove it back in the drawer in my nightstand, but Theo must’ve crawled over the bed and leaped for me, because the next thing I knew, his hand had curled around the arm that held onto the condom tightly.
“I didn’t say put it away,” he was slow to say, spinning me to face him. His hands found my hips, resting there comfortably.
Swallowing, I whispered, “I just… I just missed you so much.” Was it wrong to want to be close to the man? Trapped in the basement, bleeding out, knowing the true sins of my father and why he acted the way he had my whole life—was it wrong to want this? Was it stupid to find happiness in the arms of men like Markus, Will, Jaxon, and Bennet?
And Theo. Because I could never forget Theo.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Theo echoed a sentiment the others had mentioned more than once.
“You won’t.” As long as he didn’t get too crazy he wouldn’t, that was, but I didn’t think I had to worry about Theo going crazy in bed with me. When it came to me, he was always the most careful out of everybody. So sweet, so soft, so gentle. He was such a change from the others; I think that’s why I needed him so badly, why I’d fallen for him.
He was quiet for a few moments, and I knew he weighed the pros and cons in his head. I didn’t doubt he wanted to be with me, but his concern over my body and possibly hurting me during the act might weigh more heavily on him. I didn’t say anything, knowing the man had to come to his own conclusion.
I held my breath, inching toward him as I waited, and then he gave me a look. “All right,” he whispered the words, “but if I—”
“Hurt me, I’ll let you know.” It was the same thing the others had said to me; so concerned with hurting me more than I already was. Funny, because after what happened with my father, I didn’t think they could hurt me more if they tried. Whatever part of me used to have hope that I would reconcile with my father, that innocent, naive part of me… it was dead, or at the very least, changed to its core.
My father wasn’t wrong when he said the world was full of terrible people, he just left out the part where he was one of them.
After it was agreed upon that I’d let Theo know if he was hurting me, it was a race to take off our clothes. I tossed the condom to the pillows. Whatever hesitation he had that he might hurt me didn’t show; he was too busy undoing the buttons on his shirt and tearing the fabric off his body while watching me do the same. I wore a loose blouse, so there were no buttons on me, other than on my pants. Nothing too tight around the abdomen.
I fumbled a bit, my eyes taking in Theo’s every move. He wasn’t as muscular as Jaxon or Markus, but he was lean, strong where it counted. Taller than me by just over half a foot. He was cute in a way that snuck up on you, like when you weren’t paying attention, it crept up behind you and tapped you on the back, catching you right in its web.
I was thankful for him and everything he’d done for me. He was my rock in the storm, and he always would be. I could not explain how happy I was that we’d finally stopped going back and forth about our feelings for each other. He loved me, and I loved him.
Theo’s stare dropped to my stomach the moment I took off my shirt. Even taking off my bra—a front clasp, since the back ones were too tough for me to undo right now—didn’t cause those eyes to rise.
He wore nothing but his boxer briefs when he stepped forward, reaching out to the fresh bandage on my stomach. The wound had started to heal, but as it scabbed over, it tended to get caught on whatever shirt I was wearing. He didn’t touch the bandage, but his fingers hovered over it, a pensive look on his face.
“I’m sorry, Juliet. I—I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he whispered, those warm amber eyes lifting to my face. He took both cheeks in his hand and tilted my head back, giving me a kiss that told me he would’ve died if I wouldn’t have made it, and I believed it.
After that, he helped me out of the rest of my clothes, taking off his boxer briefs last. We crawled beneath the covers, Theo helping me get comfy before lowering his mouth to mine again, kissing away all thoughts from my brain. His hands were on my neck, tender in their touch, and he didn’t let them stray too far below my collarbone. Maybe he was nervous he’d accidentally touch the bandage.
I was pretty sure Theo could kiss me forever, but I wanted more, so I spread my legs under him, welcoming his cock to push inside of me. I needed to be one with him, to be reminded what it felt like to connect with him in the most primal way. We’d never been together in a bed before. Our first and only time had been stolen moments away from the others in a bathroom, of all places. This time, I wanted to do it right.
Theo didn’t need any words of encouragement after that. He reached for the condom, tearing it open. The condom slid out, and he threw the wrapper aside, totally forgotten about as he rolled the rubber on.
He fisted himself, and then he guided his cock to me. Before he could push inside of me, his glasses fell off his nose and hit my face, and he hurriedly spoke, “Oh, God. I’m sorry. I didn’t—” He grabbed the glasses off me, stopping his apology when I started to laugh.
