Page 39 of The Actor and His Secret

Oli can’t reply as I bury myself eight inches deep in him. The noise he makes is one of pure pleasure. I grip my balls as I begin to thrust. I wrap my spare hand around his chest, forcing him to lean onto me.

Water cascades down on us, blinding me and filling my mouth. Oli is reaching back, greedily grasping at my arse, begging me to move faster, harder.

‘My Honey,’ I say, using his nickname as a means to claim him. ‘Next time you shower, you think of me. You cook a meal, and you think of me. You sit on your sofa, and you think of me.’

‘Yes,’ he exhales, spluttering as water fills his mouth. ‘I will. I will. I will always think of you.’

Hearing the pure, undiluted honesty of his admission has me slowing my thrusts down. I want nothing more than to kiss him, but in this position I can only lay my mouth on his neck. But it’s not good enough. I need him, his intimacy, his soft and gentle nature.

‘I want to see your face,’ I say as I withdraw myself. Gently, I turn him around until his wide eyes land on mine. Droplets catch in his lashes, clumping them together. I’m jealous of the water that gets to coat him and touch every part of his body. I want nothing more than to have him, all of him, all at the same time.

‘You’re looking at me, Adonis.’

‘Yes, yes I am.’

I lift Oli up, lay his back on the wet wall, and position his legs around my waist. He’s so light I can move and manipulate him into any position I want. But I do it softly, with gentle hands.

‘You’re so beautiful, Honey.’

I mean every word. I hope he hears it in my tone beneath the splattering water.

His hands are free, so he lays each palm over my cheek and kisses me. I melt into him, delighting in the sudden softness of the moment. I have no desire to fuck him anymore - but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be inside of him.

As I enter him, I do it to reflect the moment. Soft. Languid. Calm.

This is different now. Something shifts between us, an intensity that’s so high it can only come from two people who have nothing to hide. Even though I do, my secrets buried deep, for a second I exist as a man without a past or future.

With Oli, only the present matters. And that is a place I would like to be in forever.

As I take him, I do it slowly. We kiss, all lips, tongues, and hands. The passion of the moment is boiling over, and yet I take my time. I don’t rush. I don’t - fuck.

I make what could only be understood as love to Oli.

Lust, maybe. How could I love someone I hardly know, or who hardly knows me? And yet, that’s how I would explain this moment. Two souls, two bodies, existing as one.

‘Don’t look away from me,’ I say in between kisses.

‘I’ll never look away from you, Adonis.’

God, the way he uses that name, just as I asked. It’s like I truly am the person he sees me as, not the mask I wear.

‘I think… think I’m about to come, Honey.’

I’m hardly moving inside of him, and yet the feeling comes thick and fast. It’s the connection, the intensity of our silence, our touch. I can’t control myself.

He pulls my head down to his mouth again, stopping just shy of a kiss, so when he speaks his lips tickle over mine. ‘Fill me up. I want it, I want you. All of you.’

‘I wish I could give it to you,’ I reply.

‘Then do it,’ Oli says - no, he demands.

‘What… if I’m not deserving… of you?’

Like Geoff. Like any man you’ll ever meet. Like the man you will love when I go back to my life, and you stay in yours?

Oli kisses me as if it’s enough of an answer. And it is, although I long to hear him speak it. When he draws back, he puts his mouth next to my ear and answers me. The moment the words come out of his mouth, I’m spilling the last dregs of my cum inside of him, completely emptying my balls and soul simultaneously.

‘I deserve you, and you deserve to exist as you, too. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Adonis and Honey. Fill me up, baby. Mark me as yours.’

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