Page 40 of The Actor and His Secret

15

OLI

I wake up sore and satisfied and desperately hungry.

There’s a hollowness to my chest that doesn’t feel awful, for once. Instead, I feel…lighter. Like Nikos was able to pierce my ribs and remove all the damaged parts of my heart that Geoff had stomped all over.

Seeing him last night was like a slow-motion wreck. I could tell that something awful was moments away from happening when I saw him out of the corner of my vision, and I was powerless to stop it. But then Nikos stood up for me, and I’d been a mess but I’d been a mess that someone cared about, the way that I’d always wanted Geoff to protect me.

It healed something in me that had broken. The idea that I’m not worthy of anyone standing up for me at all. That I’m worthless.

With Nikos, I feel like I’m worth everything. Even if this new inner worthiness has an expiry date.

It’s half past seven when I get out of bed, leaving Nikos sleeping soundly where Geoff used to lie. It’s so satisfying, looking at the way his golden-kissed skin contrasts against the sheets, more gorgeous and fit than my ex ever could hope to be. I throw on a pair of joggers and a sweatshirt and make my way down to the first level, starting to tidy up the place. We wrecked the house, which is exactly what I wanted. Living here has been like living with a ghost, Geoff haunting me at every turn. Now, every time I move to a new room, I have an image of Nikos instead.

Nikos grabbing my hair as he guides my mouth onto his cock.

Nikos between my legs, his tongue teasing my entrance.

Nikos holding me up against the window, so deep in me that I’m screaming his name.

Nikos and I in the shower, the water coursing over both of us, something far more dangerous than simple lust passing between us.

Make me yours.

My own words are echoing in my head as I pick up cushions from the couch and rearrange blankets, sweep up shards of the teakettle I always thought was fucking ugly that somehow got smashed to the floor. I grab cleaning spray and a cloth and start to clean all the surfaces we fucked on, removing streaks of cum and lube and picking up what seems like an infinite number of used condoms.

Nikos took his job seriously. He truly did fuck me in every room in the house. On every surface. It’s the only time in my life I wished for a bigger house, because I would have begged him to keep going until I was so used I couldn’t even speak.

But it’s more than that. I want the illusion that I’m his. I want the illusion that he’s made me his, that he’s claimed me, that he’s never, ever going to let me go.

I get to the bathroom off the kitchen, where we’d showered. I right the bottles of soap on the ledge, collect the used condom from where it’s lying next to the drain, and then something glints in the corner of my eye.

Nikos’ fancy watch is hidden between the toilet and the shower. It must have slid off and dropped into the crevice, and it’s not easy to see. Almost like it was meant to be there.

It makes me sick, thinking of it. I’d put the caller’s threats out of my mind after the shock of seeing Geoff, letting Nikos take over for the night. But here’s a golden opportunity that I’d half intended when I’d told Nikos to get rid of his watch the night before so that it didn’t get ruined in the shower.

It’s fate, right? That it’s so easy for me to take it and hide it in the bathroom cabinet, wedging it behind a box of plasters. If Nikos notices it there somehow, I can claim that I’d just put it there for safekeeping while cleaning. And if he doesn’t, it’s going to be even easier to do what the caller had asked me to. Even if he asks where it is, we can look for it on the bathroom floor and not find it. The toilet lid was open - I can convince him it had probably fallen right in.

His manager Selina will just have to fill out that insurance paperwork that he’d mentioned last night. I’m sure they’ve seen stranger claims than that.

My hands are shaking just a bit as I finish straightening up. I head back to the kitchen where I’ve stashed my phone. There’s still no sign of Nikos - the poor man probably needs his rest after fucking me like a machine for hours last night - and so I open my email to see how bad the damage is after a whole night of not paying attention.

But what I see there is so much worse than a pile of work missives going unread.

It’s an email from an address I don’t recognise, a random string of numbers and letters that’s clearly made up just for this email. The subject line is ‘Dirt.’

When I click it open, nausea seizing hold of me, I find a single line of text.

[email protected]

Now that I have more dirt on you and Nikos Ridge, that watch better be left for me today, otherwise these pictures are the ones that the world will see.

And underneath are dozens of pictures.

I go…totally blank.

My vision blacks out before coming back into focus, and I think that I’m going to pass out, or vomit, or both.

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