Page 104 of Not Another Love Song

“If you don’t think you can give one hundred and ten percent to Xander Thorne, then I’ll find someone who can. She’s been distracting you for months.” Lorenz’s lips twisted. “Going back to the Pops. For what? To play for your mother and your stepfather again? To what end? No, Xander. You are done with all that now, or you will not be going on tour.”

“You can’t be serious,” Alex said. “You don’t control who I see. That’s not in our contracts.”

“I guarantee I’ll find the correct clause. I can fire you for being late or sloppy. I know that’s in there.”

“You would fire me?” Alex scoffed. “How?”

“Don’t test me,” Lorenz said lazily. “Now, you will block all contact with Gwen Jackson. We leave for Los Angeles tomorrow. We’ll be rehearsing out of town so there will be no distractions. The passwords to your social media accounts are being changed as we speak, so you won’t have to concern yourself with anything but this tour.”

Alex stared at him. He’d heard these types of threats from Lorenz before, just usually directed at the other members.

“It’s her or the band, Xander. Is she worth giving up all you’ve worked for?”

Alex thought about their argument. Gwen didn’t even see him. She only wanted one side of him, when he’d thought she’d understood the whole of him.

And what would he be if Xander Thorne was taken from him? He’d given up Alex Fitzgerald. He’d never been without a name, without a reputation. First his family’s, then his own.

He slipped his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, and handed it over.

He was already brimming with regrets. What was another?

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Gwen slept the whole day after Thanksgiving. She had the apartment to herself, so she just cuddled in a nest of her blankets and cried. After her sparse response to Alex at eight a.m. stating that she was already back in New York and wouldn’t need a ride, she had turned off her phone and tried to enjoy the silence.

When she finally woke up at four o’clock that afternoon, she turned on her phone to find seven voicemails, twenty-three texts, and one email from Nathan, asking if she and Xander could come in on Saturday to discuss the photo shoot.

Gwen buried her face back in her pillow. The Valentine’s Day concert would have to be canceled. They’d have to think of something else to bring in money for the rest of the season. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, took a deep breath, and read Alex’s texts through the night, asking her to call him. She couldn’t look at them without tearing up. She wanted to put off dealing with the aftermath for a few more hours. She emailed Nathan back, and they made an appointment for ten a.m. Saturday morning. She turned over and fell back asleep.

On Saturday, she showered for the first time and washed Alex’s scent off her. She took the train down to Carnegie Hall, and just before she entered, she took a moment to stare up at the building. She remembered the day she’d come to audition for the Pops, nineteen and scared. She had thought herself unworthy to even stand on the stage at Stern Auditorium. Now it was her stage, just as much as it was Nathan’s.

She passed through the side door and trudged upstairs toward the office she knew so well. After she knocked, Nathan called out a “Come in!” and Gwen pushed open the door. It was a comfortable room, filled with framed awards and pictures of Nathan with Stephen Sondheim and John Williams. Nathan sat at his desk, scrolling through sheet music, and Ava sat on his couch with her iPad and stylus. They both grinned up at her when she entered, and Gwen tried to grin back now that she knew so much about them.

“Gwen,” Ava said, “how was Boston?”

Her lip trembled, but she bit down on it. “It was fine—”

“No Alex with you?” Nathan asked, looking around her to the hallway.

“No, unfortunately.” Gwen shut the door behind her and folded her hands in front of her. “And I’m sorry to be the one to tell you…” She took a deep breath. “Thorne and Roses are going on tour with U2.”

It was deadly silent in the office. Ava took off her reading glasses and rubbed her brow.

“I haven’t—” Nathan blinked. “I haven’t been informed of this.”

“It just happened on Thursday,” Gwen said.

Ava put down her iPad and patted the seat next to her on the couch. Nathan turned to his computer, running through emails and searching for anything about it. Gwen sat and turned to Ava.

“And Alex and I broke up, I think,” she said, her voice cracking. Gwen swallowed, biting her cheek and trying to keep the tears out of her eyes. Ava took a deep breath and took her hand. “And I’m very sorry about the Valentine’s Day concert—”

“Nonsense,” Ava said. “He has to do what’s best for his future, and you have to do what’s best for yours.”

Gwen did cry then. She nodded and stared down at her lap as the tears dripped off her eyelashes. “They…they wanted me on tour with them. U2 wanted me with Thorne and Roses, and I just—”

“What did you say?”

Gwen’s head snapped to Nathan, finally looking away from his computer screen. He looked almost nervous.

---