Page 114 of Not Another Love Song

“But you didn’t see yourself.” He sat up. “Gwen. It was so emotive. You played with such passion. You have to watch it.”

She bit her lip and rolled her eyes. If he wanted to show her, she would watch.

He grabbed his phone and pulled up the post. He sat next to her on the bed, and they watched Gwen start to play the solo.

About halfway through she had closed her eyes, which she remembered. But as Gwen watched herself, she finally saw it—what everyone was talking about. When she started to cry and remember Alex, her body responded. She moved in the way she’d always needed to. As she watched the video and listened to the applause blare through Alex’s phone speakers, she wiped her eyes.

“I was thinking about how there’s no one to impress. I didn’t care what Nathan thought or anyone in Carnegie.” She looked at him. “I always assumed that was arrogance—that you were cocky for thinking that way. But really it’s like a subtle confidence. Like knowing you belong.” She brushed his hair away from his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. Xander is just that part of you that stopped trying to please anyone but yourself.”

Alex kissed her tears away, murmuring praise into her skin about how perfect she was and how they could do anything together. How unstoppable they were.

They eventually disentangled themselves, and Gwen started on the cookies as Alex took a shower. At nine a.m. the downstairs buzzer rang. Gwen frowned and went to buzz whoever in. The intercom didn’t work, and usually the door was propped open anyway. Maybe a neighbor had forgotten their keys?

When a knock sounded on her door, Gwen opened it hesitantly. Ava stood on her doormat, a little winded, holding Gwen’s violin case and a Tupperware container.

“Merry Christmas,” she greeted.

“Merry Christmas, Ava.” Gwen bit her lip. “I, um…I’m not going to reconsider—”

“No, no.” Ava shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here. I wanted to bring by your violin and to also make sure you had something for Christmas.” She lifted the container. “Cinnamon rolls. Homemade.”

Gwen smiled, but before she could thank her, she heard the bathroom door open. Alex stepped out in only a towel. She grimaced, unable to stop the car crash.

“Mom!” he squeaked, like a teenager caught. He clutched the towel to him.

Ava’s eyes brightened as she looked between the two of them. “Merry Christmas! I didn’t expect you here.”

“I…didn’t expect you here either.” Alex blushed from his chest to his ears. “Um, I’m just going to…get dressed…”

Gwen watched in horrified embarrassment as Alex scurried to her room to grab his clothes. She winced at Ava.

But Ava was grinning like a madwoman. “Is he just home for the day?”

“He’s…I’ll let him tell you. Would you like to come in for a bit?”

When Alex reemerged from the bedroom back in his clothes, he found Ava and Gwen sharing coffee at the small kitchen counter and heating up the cinnamon rolls.

“Merry Christmas, Mom,” he whispered into her cheek as Ava forced a hug on him.

“You guys talk,” Gwen said, squeezing his arm. “I’m going to shower.”

When she was towel-drying her hair, she heard them still talking, so she took her time with her makeup.

“That’s unacceptable,” Ava said, loudly enough for Gwen to hear. “That can’t be legally binding. Alex, have you had a lawyer look at this?”

“It’s okay, Mom. I’ve accepted that I’m giving it up. I don’t want to fight for it anymore.”

“It’s not your position you need to fight for, it’s your share!”

“Mom,” Alex said softly. “I can’t…I’m too tired. Please.”

Gwen stared at her reflection, listening to the two of them. She hated eavesdroppers, but she couldn’t help but turn off the bathroom fan when she heard Ava begin to speak again.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me. So many times I felt like I wanted to quit violin and just be someone simple. So when you dropped out of school, I thought it made sense, and that I should give you time. But you never wanted simple. You were always working toward the next thing. And I lost you while you moved on.”

Gwen listened to Alex take a deep breath.

“I felt like…” He cleared his throat. “I used to feel like you chose Nathan over me. And that what he told me to do was what you wanted.”

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