Page 38 of Not Another Love Song

Gwen swallowed. “But you didn’t want him at the Pops. Just like me.”

Mabel shrugged one shoulder. “Not exactly like you, but yes. I was so angry with him when he squandered his chance at Juilliard.”

Gwen tried to imagine someone close enough to be family putting that kind of pressure on her. And then she remembered what Ava had said about pulling him back in middle school, sending him away during the summers to live in Jersey to give him a break. “Did Ava know about Alex’s videos? About Nathan pushing him?”

It was the wrong thing to say. Mabel’s head snapped in her direction, a slight step back, as if protecting herself.

“You clearly don’t know Ava Fitzgerald well if you think she would have one original thought that wasn’t Nathan’s. Of course she knew.”

Gwen was scratching at old wounds. She walked it back. “You said Nathan liked to take credit for things that weren’t his. Did you mean Alex?”

“Among other things. Many other things.” Mabel dropped a teabag in each mug. “Just watch yourself, love. I know you’re excited about this new opportunity. But don’t let anyone tell you what you’re capable of. Even if it sounds like a compliment.”

Gwen thought over the information Mabel had given her on the train back into Manhattan. It was fascinating to her that teenage Alex had been determined to be someone when she was pretty sure he had been “someone” already.

She arrived for lunch at a restaurant inside one of the hotels on Sixth and found Nathan there with Ava. Taking a deep breath, she centered herself and tried to remember that Mabel knew a different Nathan than she did. This Nathan had been nothing but supportive and had been paramount to her career.

“Gwen,” he greeted her, standing and pulling her chair out. “Sorry for crashing.” He looked grim.

“That’s all right.” She sat, and Ava poured her a cup of tea from the pot. “Is everything okay?”

Nathan folded his hands under his chin. “There are a few things we need to discuss.”

Gwen sipped her tea, letting it burn her tongue.

“One of our grants didn’t come through,” Ava said. Her lips twitched into a frown, and she looked out over the rest of the tables. “My first year on the board and we’re already being run into the ground.”

Gwen’s fingers trembled.

“No, don’t—” Nathan shook his head. “It’s not as bad as all that,” he said to Gwen.

“Just about,” Ava said into her teacup.

“It just means we need to do a bit of reworking to the season. More ticket sales, maybe another specialty concert if Carnegie will find space for us.” He turned his eyes to Gwen. “And we might have to make some changes.”

Gwen thought of the sheet music in her bag, the hours of work she had put into marking it up. She thought of the interview this coming Wednesday. She’d had first chair at her fingertips, and she’d lost it.

Be careful with them. They can take it all away from you.

“That’s…no, I understand.” She nodded at the white tablecloth, wondering who she could call at the magazine to let them know. She’d have to tell Jacob that they couldn’t afford to move out of the Heights just yet. She had been really looking forward to a bedroom door.

“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Ava said, grabbing her hand. “You’re not going anywhere. You’ve brought the Pops more good press than anything in the last ten years.”

She felt the tightness in her chest unwind.

“No, Gwen. The one thing we’re sure of is you.” Nathan smiled at her. “But there are several things…still in flux.”

She nodded and asked, “How important was this grant?”

“Let us worry about that,” Ava said. “You just focus on the rehearsals and that interview. Wednesday, isn’t it?” Gwen nodded, trying to stir milk into her tea with shaking fingers. “We’re going to need as much publicity as we can get. I’m in contact with my friend at the Times. We’re hoping they can squeeze you in somewhere.”

Gwen managed to burn her tongue again. “The New York Times? Seriously?”

“Just a small blurb, maybe the week of the September concert.” Ava tore at a piece of bread, slathering it with half the butter offered. If Gwen wasn’t aware how stressed she was before, that was the indication.

Nathan excused himself with a kiss to Ava’s cheek, then headed back to his office. Ava looked over her bow markings on “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” and Gwen had to bite her tongue when she mentioned the exact same up-bow that Mabel had.

“It’s up to you, but I think I would move this later. Here”— she pointed to the exact measure Mabel had—“it would be easier to support the allegro. Give the violins time to prepare.”

---