Page 51 of Full Service

Idon’t know why I thought this date was a good idea. But I felt even more determined to go on it after Everly kissed me and then fled my office.

I’ve hyper-fixated on that kiss far more than I should. Far more than is healthy.

I made sure that LoveJoy—who is ironically not named after a candy bar after all—went out with me the very next day. Screw waiting for Saturday. We pushed it up to Thursday. Because I couldn’t wait. I had to get this obsession with my TA under control.

And ribbon-man seemed like just the thing. He’s so exotic and odd that I figured he’d be the perfect person to distract me from Everly.

I’m right about that, actually. The moment he shows up to the popular beachside restaurant in town, with its crowded tables and romantic low lights, I can see only him. It’s hard to look away when he strides toward me, almost floating. Perhaps it’s the brightly colored caftan dress he’s wearing or the ribbons in his hair, but he looks positively ridiculous.

LoveJoy will certainly keep my mind off of Everly for the time being.

At least I hope so.

“Hello there,” he says, leaning down, smelling of caramel. He presses a kiss to my cheek, and I allow it. Not that it feels anything like Everly’s lips on my skin, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to forget about that man and find someone to have fun with.

I nod and smooth my tie down. “Hello.”

He grins at me and then sits down in the chair opposite me.

“I’m glad you found the place okay.”

“I am too,” I reply, surprised that this restaurant is somewhat normal. I expected something very offbeat and strange. But then again, something weird could happen. With LoveJoy you never know.

“Howdy, partners. I’m Adam,” the waiter says, swinging by and handing us menus. He hands them to us upside down, and I glance up at him, noticing that he’s sucking on his lips a little too vigorously. Hm.

“Howdy right back,” LoveJoy replies. The waiter, Adam, eyes LoveJoy and his caftan a little too long. Probably because it shimmers brightly despite the dim lighting.

“Nice robe, man,” Adam says. “It’s very sparkly. Kind of moves too when you squint your eyeballs.”

LoveJoy preens under the attention. I’m wondering what substance our waiter is on. Nothing good, I assume.

“Could we order drinks now?” I ask, distracting the waiter, who is reaching out and fiddling with the ribbons in LoveJoy’s hair. It’s fine by me, but honestly, I just want to get this date over with. And the longer the waiter fiddles with LoveJoy’s hair, the longer I have to sit here and pretend I’m not thinking about Everly.

“Right on. What can I get you?” Adam asks, and I sigh, ordering a water with lemon—I need to keep my wits about me—and LoveJoy orders a porn star martini. I don’t even want to know what that is. If LoveJoy strips down to drink it, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised.

This is what I get for agreeing to a date with him.

“So,” I say, trying to make conversation once the waiter finally leaves. I’ll do just about anything to make this move a little quicker. “You have an interesting name.”

“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it,” he says, flitting his hands around. “I hated it growing up, got teased a lot, but now I own it. LoveJoy Dracula Smith.”

A snort escapes me. “Dracula?”

“I know. My mother is a wild hippie and my dad is a dreary, grumpy accountant who hates the outdoors. I think they compromised.”

“Do you have any siblings?” I ask, wondering what their names could be.

“Of course. Two sisters. GracieDoll and BloomCloud.”

I stare at him. The first sounds like a creepy, murderous Muppet and the second sounds like an atomic bomb.

He shrugs. “I know. I know. And you don’t even want to know their middle names.”

I lean forward. “Actually, yes, I do.”

I can’t help but be interested in this. I may want this date to be over with, but I am distracted. Yes, this was the perfect decision. LoveJoy is making me not think of Everly. Even though I just did. But whatever. I can’t expect perfection right off the bat.

“Well, Gracie’s middle name is Chaos and Bloom’s is Ozul.”

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