Page 22 of Live, Ranch, Love

“I just mean that life isn’t always perfect. It’s full of seasons, good and bad. No one is happy all the time.”

“I was,” she mumbles, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, but your followers probably aren’t. And as much as you might inspire them with your cliché quotes and woo-woo manifestation stuff,” she shoots me daggers at that, “it would probably help them just as much to see that you have bad days too. That it’s okay to not be okay sometimes, but there’s things you can do to help you get through those difficult times.”

Jesus, maybe I should take up this wellness blogging shit, I sound like a motivational speaker. Tony Robbins, move out the way.

Aurora sucks her teeth, regarding me. I can see the cogs working in her brain as her face softens, processing what I’ve said. I’m not usually one to find silences uncomfortable—if anything, I welcome them—but with the way she’s staring so intensely at me, like she might actually discover where my soul is hiding, I find myself needing to fill it.

“Besides, if it makes you feel better, your failure has nothing on mine.” Fuck, why did I say that? Now she’s going to want to know.

Aurora’s brows raise, her stare turning silkier under her dark eyelashes. I swallow hard when she shuffles a little closer. “How come?”

“Um…” I have to clear my throat again. “Well, my dad’s a rancher too. Works on Sawyer’s family ranch. And he’s always worked so hard, my mom too, so that I could go to college and do something more than working on a ranch for someone else, like him.” I have to stop to uncurl my fists, not realising at first I’d been clenching them so hard. My nails have dug into my palms. “See the irony yet?”

“Ah.” Aurora gives me a sympathetic smile, lips pressing together. “So, the big burly cowboy has a brain after all.”

“Hilarious.” I throw a mocking smile back. “But surprisingly, yes. I was Valedictorian at my high school too, and on our champion football team. Had a 4.0 GPA that continued into college. Also had the opportunity to go pro with football, and if that failed, I had a place in law school waiting for me. My parents were so proud, said all the hard work and money they’d put in for me was finally worth it.”

“Bloody hell,” Aurora huffs. Her knee knocks against my thigh. She’s too comfortable with touching people when I go out of my way to avoid it. “How exactly did you end up at Sunset Ranch then?”

“When I had such a great life set up for me?” I say it in the same tone everyone else usually does when they question my choices. The kind that makes it seem like you’re so stupid for giving up.

“Because it didn’t make me happy, Aurora. I finished college with all that success just waiting for me, with people telling me how well I’d done, but then my pops got ill, and Grace needed someone to take over. And I loved being on the ranch. I also had to have surgery on my knee in college, so that gave me a good excuse to stop the football, even though they said I could still play.”

Now Aurora’s shoulder brushes against me too, like she’s slowly inching her way closer. I guess it is somewhat comforting…

“There’s something about the hard labour and being surrounded by nature and animals that makes me feel alive, but also peaceful. And happy. So fucking happy.” I look out at the peaks ahead, and the night sky between them splattered with stars. “But these days, success doesn’t seem to equate to happiness, so people think you’re failing when you’re not. And that sucks.”

“Success doesn’t seem to equate to happiness,” Aurora repeats under her breath, then lets out a scoff of a laugh.

I’ve probably bummed her out even more now with my sob story. But I can’t pretend it doesn’t feel good to let that all out after so many years of holding it in. After just grinding my teeth down, learning not to react to the comments people make. Old friends gloating about their city jobs or whispering about how they expected more from me after high school. My parents reminding me of everything they gave up for me, meaning there was less for my siblings.

It’s why I’ve always worked extra hard to support Hunter and Cherry through college too. It’s why I helped Hunter get gigs when he was younger, before he got his record deal. It’s why I convinced Duke to give Cherry a holiday job so she could earn her own money too, and help him decorate the bar.

“Oh,” I add, because the alcohol in my system decides that as I’ve gone so far already, I might as well confess all my embarrassing stories. “I also came back for a girl.”

With an amused gasp, Aurora spins around, tired eyes lit up. “Wait, you have feelings? I’m so invested now.” She wiggles forward, touching me in too many places. I track her tongue dart out over her strawberry lips, leaving them shining.

“Yep, my high school sweetheart, Holly Slade. We did long-distance for the whole of college, then she got a job teaching back in Willow Ridge. It was even more reason to come work here. One month later, she left me for some fancy lawyer and moved to the city with him. Said she needed someone with more ambition. Still texts me every now and again to check if I’m still a rancher.”

I hate the way Aurora’s face drops. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I wouldn’t have been happy with Holly anyway, always trying to be the person she wanted me to be, rather than who I truly was. I just forget to remind myself that sometimes.

Aurora makes a noise of disgust. “Wow, what a dick move from Holly Slade… If it helps, I get it. The happiness thing. I know some people make fun of what I do for a living.” She nudges me, tipping her head up to raise an accusatory brow at me. Still, I appreciate the quick slide away from Holly because those wounds aren’t completely healed yet. “But it makes me happy. I love talking and writing about wellness and positivity.”

She lets out another long sigh and swings back around, resting her head against my shoulder. I tense, a few of her wild waves tickling my jaw, while all the nerves in my shoulder light up.

“This place makes me happy too. Even though it’s been hard, I feel like I can be myself here. I feel… free. It’s so beautiful and peaceful.”

I sigh too. “It’s the kind of place with views that make you realise how insignificant you and your problems actually are.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry that I turned up and threatened it all,” she admits, a faint quiver in her voice as she continues. “I don’t really want to let this all go, but I just don’t know what to do.”

I don’t know either. I’m pissed off at her for being here, taking the reins away from me and steering the ranch towards being sold. But what else is she going to do? She’s not going to stay here in Willow Ridge, she belongs elsewhere. Even if I hate to admit it, selling probably is her only choice.

“And I’m sorry for acting like a dick.”

Aurora huffs out a little laugh, nuzzling her head into my shoulder again. “You’re forgiven.”

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