Page 39 of Trapped: Between Sky And Wind

“Bren?” I push aside a wide vine dangling in front of my nose. “Ouch!” The scream escapes my lips, loud and indignant. I stepped on something sharp and pointy with the ball of my right foot. I hold on to the tree trunk with trembling fingers and lift my foot. Great! A brown shard of glass sparkles in the barely illuminated area. I pull it out with a curse and throw it into the next bush. Blood immediately oozes from the cut.

Fantastic, if the day continues like this, I might just have my foot amputated!

“Bren?” The pain and my fatigue make me impatient. I try to ignore everything else and pick my way through the hanging vines with my hands. “Grey? Hey, not so fast!”

“You said you wouldn’t leave me!”

The voice sounds rough, stricken, and frightful at the same time. It instantly paralyzes me, grabs my throat, and pushes me mercilessly against a tree trunk. Images from a memory arise in my mind like the figures of a nightmare: Bren’s dark eyes, his screams, the rage inside him. The hand he grabbed my neck with…

I blink hard, but the darkness around me is too thick. “Bren?” I whisper. “Where are you?” The smell of needles rises in me and constricts my chest.

“You promised. Remember?”

“Yes…yes, of course!” I force myself to calm down even though my heart is pounding in my ears. “And I’m here…” Is he hiding from me? Why? Because he’s afraid he might hurt you! With extreme caution, I step back and a tendril brushes against my hair. “I was waiting for you in the room and then…”

Suddenly, he stands in front of me as if he has grown out of the ground and grabs my upper arm. I flinch like when Ethan slapped my face. He didn’t make a sound, no cracking, nothing. Something dark glows in his eyes—like black lava burning.

“Bren,” I whisper. “It’s alright. I’m here. My brothers dragged me away.” A summer’s fear wells up in me. I told you not to leave me! Don’t! Leave! Me! His screams pound in my head and my knees weaken. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Grey’s eyes smoldering in the blackness.

“Is it because of someone else? Did I miss something?” He’s completely lost, my words can’t reach him, he might attack me at any moment now.

“You’re crazy,” I choke out. I hear a low growl coming from the undergrowth. A branch cracks. Grey approaches. I try to keep my fear at bay, but it seems to be taking over every nook and cranny. He’s sick, a voice inside me whispers. He’s not doing this on purpose! Still, the fear remains, even grows stronger. “There…there are…my…”

His gaze is rock hard as is his grip and any words get stuck in my throat. “Lou! Who is it? You’d better tell me!”

“Nobody!” I can’t believe the stuff he’s saying but I do remember the time in Crescent City when he held me like this. I think about what he confided in me afterward. He was beaten half to death and never found love. How will he ever feel certain of my love?

“Bren, stay here—in reality.” I need to be strong for both of us, which is hard for me because I’m so scared. “We’re together day and night. How was I supposed to… My brothers were there and they…”

“It’s too much for you!” A bitter, cold statement.

He misunderstands everything. He isn’t experiencing a flash or a seizure, but his mind is still stuck.

I inhale deeply. “No, it’s not too much for me,” I say, not knowing how I can keep my voice so steady. “And if you would let me finish, then…”

“You left me. Running into you here is a stupid coincidence. You know… I knew you’d eventually do that. Run away, I mean. It just won’t work for us. You deserve better than me.”

“You’re what’s best for me!” I exclaim, but for the first time, I have doubts. He is almost crushing my bones. What if he never gets well? What if it goes on like this forever or if he’s only sure of me if he isolates me from the world somewhere? Whether in the wilderness or a luxury suite, whether the stars rise in the sky or on the ground. Can I really live like this? But the very next moment, my thoughts startle me. This is Bren! My Bren! And he needs help. He’s still standing in front of me, frozen, holding me tightly, when in reality it’s he who needs to be held. The scent of the spruce and the earth fades away, leaving only the dampness of the rain and the freshness of the ivy around us. “You’re what’s best for me,” I repeat in a whisper.

His oval, shadowed face appears uncompromising. “I’m not at all what’s best for you. We both know that.”

“Bren—let go of me. You’re hurting me!” I say, looking into his eyes to keep him grounded in reality. “I’m still here. And I will not run away if you let go of me.”

“You only run away if I don’t let go, right?” he asks harshly. His hand twitches, but he doesn’t release me, almost as if his body isn’t responding to his mind, as if his synapses aren’t working.

“No. I’ll never run away from you, I promise.” I recall how he choked me during a fit last year. Will he do that again? Can I endure it? Is my love strong enough? Say he actually hurts me, then what?

“Bren!” I feel Grey beside me, his fur against my bare calf; I’m sure he instinctively knows what’s going on with Bren and I’m sure he’ll protect me if need be.

Suddenly, my eyes burn. Not just because of the pain and my fear, but because I’m thinking such horrible things. I’m also thirsty, hungry, sad for Ethan, exhausted from the long night, and my right foot is itching and throbbing. In this state, it’s hard to be understanding, helpful, and patient. “Bren… I love you. And I won’t leave you alone.” I’m reminded of the Henry Cunningham picture—I don’t know why. Maybe because he reminds me of Bren, of his childhood pain, the reason why I always have to forgive him.

Bren stares at me. The darkness in his eyes fades away, leaving a strange confusion in its wake.

“Bren, my brothers dragged me away. I didn’t stand a chance against them. Suddenly, they were in front of the door and dragged me to the elevator… At the first opportunity, I fled and went back to the hotel, but they were already there, so I ducked into the park…”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t run away.”

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