Page 78 of Trapped: Between Sky And Wind

“Okay,” I say more to reassure him. “I won’t show it to anyone.” To whom, anyway? I hug him again to say goodbye and let go. He quickly turns and takes long, springy strides in the direction of the forest, wiping his face with his forearm. The feather in his headband bobs. I’m not crying even though it hurts to see him go. I don’t know how many goodbyes my heart can handle.

“Why isn’t he coming with us?” I ask Darrow.

He shakes his head. “He’s afraid.”

“Of the city? Of people?”

“Of losing his spirits.”

Are you happier with them? I think about it for a long time, happy for the slight distraction.

In an ancient Chevrolet, which Darrow says is always parked in Cormorant with an old friend, he drives me to Le Pas, the next bigger town. On the way there, I turn on the phone and after fifteen miles on the road, three bars flash at me.

I stare at the phone momentarily as if I no longer know how to use it.

“You’re scared,” Darrow says, glancing sideways at me.

“Hm.” Denial makes no sense. What am I supposed to tell Jay? How will I deal with all that is to come? I’m not so naive as to think that the world has already forgotten me or that I can hide forever.

They will come. Police officers. Doctors. Psychologists. And they’re going to ask me about Bren. I wish I felt as invincible now as I did with him on the freight trains between sky and wind.

I stare at the screen. Maybe Ethan still has the cell phone. I don’t want to talk to Ethan. Preferably, never again.

Finally, I type one word into the old WhatsApp dialog Jay and I used, our code word.

Jonathan.

Our father’s name.

I don’t have to wait long. Shortly before Le Pas, my cell phone beeps every second.

Lou!

Lou! Tell me it’s you!

How are you doing?

Lou?

Are you still with Brendan? Get in touch. OMG, say hi!

I feel tears and my throat is sore.

Jay?

YES, yes—it’s me, little sis! WHERE ARE YOU? Please tell me you’re okay!

I’m miserable, but I won’t text that. I don’t cry either because then I won’t stop.

I’m in Le Pas, Manitoba. Can you come pick me up?

What do you think? I’m leaving right now! Will call when on the road. Whatever happened, remember, it gets better!

Yes, that’s how it is with brothers. At least with Jay, Liam, and Avy. They are always there when I truly need them.

Darrow turns his head in my direction again and looks at me with his small friendly eyes. “Family?” he asks. Maybe I made a strange noise.

I nod.

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