Page 21 of Pieces of Us

‘So you know how Mark’s off for a while?’ he starts, strangling the beer bottle in his grasp.

‘Hmm.’ Mark got pretty badly injured on site and has been in hospital having surgery. He’s home now, but this is nothing new. Not only do I work in the same building as him, but I also stopped by the hospital.

‘Well, he was just going to recuperate at home with no fuss.’

‘Okay…’ Get to the point already.

‘Well, he spoke to Amity the other day, and before he could even get a word in edgewise to reassure her that he was okay, she made arrangements to come home.’ I stare blankly at him. ‘Home,’ he elaborates, as if I didn’t hear him the first time. ‘It’s sort of her time off, or downtime or whatever, and she said instead of going to Paris, where Crys is, she’s, um, flying back. Here.’ He eyes me over the rim of his bottle.

I try to remain passive, but my hands are clenched tight enough around the plastic bottle that it crunches beneath my palm.

‘Huh.’ It does not come off as noncommittal.

‘She hasn’t been back…since…well, since she left, and I guess Uncle Mark being incapacitated for a while is enough reason. She also mentioned something about getting the design phases started on one of her investments. She bought that land a while back, or Mark bought it on her behalf, because she couldn’t be here in person.’

‘And what does this have to do with me?’ I interrupt. It has been overwhelmingly difficult to try and get over Amity. Having her back will plunder my chances of trying.

Dad gives me a long look. ‘She called me to help her with the designs, and wanted to make sure I was looking after Mark.’

My heart jumps at the thought of Dad hearing her voice. ‘I didn’t know you speak to her?’

He shrugs. ‘Of course I do. Always have. So does Jas,’ He says it like it’s the most normal thing in the world. ‘I just didn’t think it was any of your business anymore.’ Well, that’s just downright brutal. I drum my fingers on the table, my eyes downcast as I digest this information. Even my little sister has kept in contact all these years…and they both hid it from me. ‘I know you two haven’t really talked since your breakup, but I’m just letting you know that you’ll probably bump into her. I just wanted to give you some warning. She said it was fine when I told her the same.’

Of course she did.

I haven’t spoken to Amity since before graduation, and she never returned to the Gold Coast, not even for Christmas, so I haven’t laid eyes on her physically for years. Of course, I’ve seen and heard what she’s been up to. Apart from stalking the fuck out of her on socials, she is everywhere. The Gold Coast Bulletin even had a section dedicated to her—‘Spilling the tea with Amity’—and my friends, who used to pay her out for her weight, were suddenly obsessed with her.

‘Linc?’ Dad brings me back to our conversation after I’ve been too quiet for a few moments.

Rubbing my neck, I huff out a long breath. ‘Thanks for letting me know. It’s a big town, so maybe I won’t see her. But who knows, maybe we could even be friends again?’ I shrug, hoping my nonchalant response fools him.

The look on both his and Jas’ faces lets me know that hell has a better chance of freezing over.

‘You never know, mate.’ Dad pats my shoulder in solidarity.

Awkward tension engulfs the room, so I clear my throat. ‘I’m going to head home. Long day.’ I nod my head towards the front door in a jerking motion.

‘You sure you don’t want to watch an ep of Peaky Blinders?’ I shake my head, as if I’m looking left and right for traffic. ‘Okay. See you later.’ Dad smiles softly, waving me off.

Ever since it was over with Amity, there was a constant tightness. I was never alone, yet I felt lonely. I was always running, but never fast enough. I was always awake, but never really seeing.

When I get back home, I immediately boot up my laptop, the compulsion to check Amity’s Tik Tok to see what she’s up to winning. I have a whole favourites folder dedicated to her, which is absolutely pathetic but necessary for my wellbeing. The last time I screwed Billie was just before she caught me looking at my secret folder after we were done.

‘This is why you won’t give us a second chance,’ Billie had accused, tears welling in her eyes. ‘It’s always been her. It will always be her. You will never love anyone as long as she’s alive.’

I didn’t deny it. ‘She’s a part of my heart.’

After that, we didn’t hook up again, and I don’t blame her.

I fully lean into my obsession with Amity from years ago. Like a crack addict, shaking for my next fix, I check for any new pictures, videos, threads, toks, interviews and the like.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve streamed her interviews, falling asleep to her sweet laugh, or how obsessed I became with her lingerie choices when she conducted a new interview. Who knew scraps of lace could be transformed into artwork on her body? I find myself scrutenising every curve and inch of her. I haven’t touched her in over seven years, but I’m sure she is as soft as ever, even if she has slimmed down significantly. Her shape or size of body had never mattered to me, as long as she’s healthy. From the looks of it, she seems to be in tip-top shape.

My leg bounces up and down as I wait for Google to load.

A Youtube video was uploaded seventy-two minutes ago. Amity takes a peak behind the curtain with Peaky Blinders cast. Fucking hell. Peaky-bloody-Blinders. What I wouldn’t give to chat with Cillian Murphy. I lean into the screen to absorb every detail of the fifteen-minute video. She’s in a white itty bitty bikini with green clovers on her nipples. She tries on Cillian’s working class Englishman wardrobe, which includes his hat and cigar, and fuck me if I don’t have a bit of a hard-on seeing it. She then moves to the bedroom on set, where she’s surrounded by the cast, tossing questions at each one of them. Tom fucking Hardy makes a suggestion to go down to a pub, and the next shot is of Amity pouring herself a Guinness and drinking it while standing on top of the bar. I avidly watch the locals go crazy for her. Turning her segment back around on her, one of the cast members throws a question at Amity. Up until now, she’s been very reserved about her former life.

‘Where are you from, Amity?’ they shout off-camera, so I don’t see who it is.

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