Page 66 of Pieces of Us

I hate that I don’t know where her head is at, but I need to focus on the positive, and that is that her body is still mine. Exclusively? Who knows? But she still wants me, and that’s something.

Watching her trudge to her door is like watching my heart walk away from me. I only start the car again when I see the door firmly shut behind her.

Chapter 27

FML

Amity

‘I fucked Lincoln,’ I blurt out as I browse the lingerie store we’re in. My line is far from ready, but I need a few new pieces for upcoming interviews. I want to get this out of the way so I can focus my sole attention on Jagger when he gets here.

The lace feels soft on my hands, which is a stark contrast to how my pussy is feeling after how hard I let Linc fuck me two days ago.

Lily, Jas and Ella’s mouths collectively drop open in shock.

‘Absolutely not,’ Jas screeches, halting my next sentence. Covering her ears, she stares at me, mortified. ‘I don’t want to hear this! I’m going to get a frozen coke.’

Whoops. I didn’t intentionally plan on vomiting my sex life to his sister. I’m too frantic to care, though, so when she’s well and truly out of sight, I twirl back around. It hasn’t escaped me that Lily and Ella are acting like stunned mullets.

I invited Ella because there’s just something about her that I’m drawn to. Plus, I see how the other girls at the office look at her, and I don’t like the mean girl glances.

Blinking, Lily breaks her trance. ‘I’m sorry. Repeat that for me,’ she all but shrieks, grabbing my arm and almost tearing it from the socket. Ella laughs, tipping her head back at the entertainment that is my life. I’ve filled her in—mostly—on the tumultuous history that is Linc and I, but she’s probably not used to so much drama.

I groan as I start moving from rack to rack, inspecting the delicate bras. ‘I fucked Linc. In an alley. A couple of nights ago. After he went down on me. And sucked fairy floss off my skin. Then I blew him.’ I browse for my size, an E. I inspect the garment. It’s riskier than what I’ve worn recently. Really, it just criss-crosses over my nipples, but damn, if it doesn’t flood my pussy thinking about how much Linc would like to tear this off me.

My feelings are all over the place when it comes to him. I’m working on getting through the pain of our history. I’ve forgiven him for his past mistakes. I just don’t know if he’s worth risking my heart again. I’m also not in a position to give him all of me when I’m hiding a huge part of my brokenness. Still, I can’t help how slutty my pussy is for him.

‘I’m-I’m…I don’t know what the fuck I am,’ Lily says, digesting what I’ve told her while she takes a seat on the nearest available chair. ‘I say this with so much love, but have you lost your fucking mind?’ Her voice carries through the store, drawing attention to us.

‘I know! I don’t know! I was horny. So fucking horny. And it’s Linc, you know?’ I bemoan as I pick up the matching strappy G-string.

‘Did you forget the cock was attached to the guy who broke your fucking heart by screwing that whore, and more?’ Lily blasts. I get she’s protective, but I don’t need her guilt trip.

Sensing the hurt, Ella steps in as peacekeeper.

‘Okay. Okay. Let’s start from the beginning. How was it?’ I cackle at her crassness before reminiscing on what it was like to be with him in that way again.

‘It was instinctive. It was like fitting a key into its lock. As fucking cringey as this sounds, it’s like I’ve found a missing link.’ Wistfully tearing up, I can feel myself being pulled under again by my torrent of emotions.

‘I still don’t understand,’ Lily says, both hands flying to her temples.

‘We had another mini argument over me supposedly making him jealous with Jagger coming to town, and then he came over mine to apologise. We talked through some more and decided to move forward. We didn’t label it, and then the next thing I knew, we were going out to dinner. One thing led to another, and it’s like my body took over my mind, or he had some kind of control over me.’

I nod to the changing rooms, silently asking them to follow me while I try the pieces on.

‘And?’ Ella asks, probing for more.

Thankfully, the room has a small lounge that both of them can fit on so we can continue our private conversation.

‘Nothing. We held hands back to the car. I fell asleep, and then I practically bolted to my door and haven’t spoken to him since.’ Pulling my sundress over my head and unclipping my bra, I start the painful process of squeezing myself into the miniscule pieces of lingerie.

‘Do you regret it?’ Lily asks.

I’ve contemplated the same question over and over, and each time my mind and body both agree that I don’t.

Shaking my head, they both wait for me to verbalise what I’m feeling.

‘I could never regret something so intimate with Linc. I just don’t know where it leaves us. Jag’s coming to town soon, and we have history, and I know it’s about to complicate things further. Who I am now is not the same person Linc remembers. I need to see how my old and new lives collide together.’

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