Page 73 of Pieces of Us

Both hands fly to my hair as I tear at the strands. I feel infuriated and helpless, and really, if I thought Jagger couldn’t flatten me to a pancake with one punch, I’d probably take my aggression out on him.

‘Can you at least tell me if Uncle Mark and Aunt Crystal knew the extent?’

He’s quiet for a moment. The night air is thick with humidity. The palm trees are swaying slightly, but not enough to slice the heat, and the only sounds permeating around us are the cicadas singing.

‘They do.’ That’s it. That’s all he has to say in response to my question.

‘Tell me how you met.’ I give up asking about whatever secrets she’s hiding.

‘She interviewed my team, but we didn’t really hit it off until I met her at some Hollywood party a month or so later. I don’t have to tell you how much I was captivated by her, but even when she interviewed us, I saw the switch in her when the cameras stopped rolling. She had such an exuberance about her when the red light was on but when the interview ended, she retreated back into herself, as if she was putting on a facade. A few of the guys tried to hit her up, but she shut them down pretty quickly.’ He chuckles at whatever memory he’s thinking of.

‘She told them she was a lesbian, which didn’t deter them in the slightest.’ Shaking his head, he looks up at the Southern Cross, continuing down memory lane. ‘Anyway, I saw her at a party, and I could see she wanted to be anywhere but there. She was with a group and everyone was chatting, but she just had this checked-out look on her face. Minutes later, I saw her bolting to the bathrooms and thought it might be my chance to see what was making such a pretty girl so sad.’

Hanging on every word, I turn to my side to watch him speak.

‘I wasn’t expecting her to be in the…state she was in.’

State? What fucking state? Was she naked, drunk, drugged, with someone, in a fight? My mind goes to the worst of the worst case scenarios. My sweet, darling Hart isn’t the partying type. I can only imagine how the partying probably exacerbated so many of the fears and insecurities she had about herself. She would have been the most introverted in the room. The one who was an outsider. The one who compared herself to everyone else, weight and looks wise. The one who would see a couple and be reminded that she was single and alone. It would have killed her to see everyone have fun while she was so broken, lost and dazed. While part of me had anguished how she seemed to just move on and pave this big, beautiful, glamorous life for herself, I didn’t think of the repercussions it would have had on her psyche.

Turning his eyes to me, he senses my panic. ‘Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that…but like I said, I can’t tell you her story. All I can say is that I knew she needed a true friend in the industry, and contrary to what you might think of me, I’m a pretty decent guy.’

I sigh because I know he isn’t a wanker. He’s just protective.

Like a rat chewing at my bones, I need to know the answer to a question that keeps gnawing at me. ‘Are you more than friends with my girl?’ I bite out.

‘Is she your girl?’ He cocks his eyebrow in question.

‘Just answer my question.’

‘Yes.’ A whoosh of air exhales from my lungs. I’m sucker-punched by that tiny three-letter word.

‘Yes,’ I repeat back.

‘If you’re asking if we’ve been…intimate. Yes.’ Hammer, meet skull. ‘But there are no feelings but mutual affection. We are each other’s release when we need one.’ He shrugs as if fucking my girl is no big deal. My stomach drops, plagued by sordid images of them having sex. Jesus, that would be the hottest porn of all time with the way they both look. I’m very much straight, but even I can appreciate a fine-looking specimen like Jagger.

Opening and closing my mouth, I feel like one of those laughing clown games you find at a carnival. No matter how much I want to stop, my mouth just opens and shuts.

‘She’s my best friend. I love her to pieces. We have fun. It’ll never be serious between us.’

‘Why?’ I’m baffled. I don’t think I’d turn the fucker down if he asked me out, truth be told.

‘Her heart will always belong to someone else. I’ve been her caretaker, her safe space for so long. I’m the one she has been able to lean on. I’ve been there to see her build herself back up. And make no mistake, I will never abandon her, screw her over or bring harm to her, but she doesn’t belong to me or with me.’ There’s a contented smile on his face as if he’s trying to tell me something.

I’m holding my breath to the point that my lungs are gasping for air.

‘I love Amity, but I’m not in love with her, and she isn’t in love with me.’

Wrapping my head around his confessions seems incomprehensible.

‘Do you hate me?’ I don’t know why it matters, but I need him to find me redeemable.

He furrows his brow at me. Thank heavens the light around us is dim and he can’t see my embarrassment at asking him that.

‘I don’t know you.’ It’s a simple but avoiding answer.

‘But you must know a lot about me, mine and Hart’s history, and the events that inevitably led her to you?’ I press.

‘I don’t hate anyone. I am disgusted by some of your actions and choices, but I can’t hold you accountable for them. Only you can. I’ve heard some gritty things, Lincoln, but I also understand people make mistakes. The thing is, someone like me is the safe bet for someone like Amity. You? You’re either the best thing for her or the worst. Be the best thing for her. Love her so hard that you elevate her to such a level that no amount of hurt will ever destroy her again.’