Sneaking up behind me, he touches my shoulders, announcing his presence. I jolt slightly out of my endless thoughts. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s okay. Tell me what you’re thinking?’ He sweeps the hair away, allowing space for him to press a kiss to my neck.
‘I’m somewhere between wanting to rip your clothes off and wanting to rip you to shreds,’ I sigh, looking at the perfectly pristine bed. God, I hope he at least popped new sheets on there since the last skank. His head falls in the crook of my neck as I hear him sigh. ‘I hate that she and God knows who else has…slept there.’
‘It’s the same for me. I don’t want to think about anyone else touching what’s mine. I swear, there hasn’t been anyone in here for a really long time. Can I admit something?’
I nod, my body fast deflating.
‘I feel out of touch when I’m around you. I have no idea what you even like any more. I’d like to think I know every part of you, but even just seeing you be so comfortable with who you are…it’s jarring, compared to the girl I used to know. I mean, you used to want the lights off and your shirt on when we were together.’ I flinch at the memories. He quickly rectifies what he’s trying to say. ‘All I ever wanted was for you to be comfortable and see what I saw in you—which was perfection—but you always wanted to hide. Now, you take your clothes off for a living. As much as I loved the old you, the new you is equally wildly attractive,’ He cuts me off before I have a chance to blow up. ‘And before you jump down my throat, it’s not because of your body. It’s because of your confidence. I’m scared I’ll disappoint you because I can’t fulfil your needs.’ As he says this, his hands slide up and down my arms, creating a lattice of goosebumps across my body.
I take a moment to think about what he’s said. It makes sense. All of it. It’s confronting, but it’s a necessary conversation that we need to have.
Turning around and looking up at him, I see the vulnerability pouring out of him. Slumping against him, I wrap my arms tightly around him, hoping he gets the message that I’m not going anywhere tonight. ‘This is going to sound so un-sexy, but maybe we should talk about what we both like?’ I bite my lip, hesitating at my ludicrous idea. ‘I mean, it could go two ways. We either find out we’re horribly incompatible—which I highly doubt,’ I assure him, scratching the back of the nape of his neck. ‘Or it will lead to some pretty explosive sex.’
Those are really our only two options.
He peers down at me. ‘We should get comfortable then?’
Leading me to the bed, we scoot up and get comfy against the pillows. Lying in his arms feels different but still natural. He’s bigger and I’m smaller. He doesn’t smell like a teen who has sprayed too much Lynx on himself, and he seems so much more assured of himself. Even the way he’s stroking my arm as I nuzzle into him is so much more protective and…grown-up than the last time we were together in his bed.
‘When we were together…you liked fingering, licking and normal fucking. Still the same, I presume?’ He breaks the ice, diving straight into the deep end. I tingle at his easy use of dirty talking.
‘Uh-huh.’ My pinkened cheeks hide in his strong torso.
‘You’re going to have to give me a lot more than that, Hart,’ he snorts, tapping my ass.
‘My clit.’
‘What about it?’
‘I like when…when…a guy bites it, and slaps it…with his hand…or his cock,’ I get the next part out really quickly out of sheer embarrassment. ‘I like it rough.’
Squeezing my eyes shut, I feel like my heart is going to explode. He holds his breath. I know this because I feel the inhale but not the exhale. He also stiffens beside me, like he’s a fucking statue.
‘Jesus,’ he exhales after what feels like forever. ‘My cock is already rock hard, and you go and say shit like that.’ He has a sense of awe or wonder in his voice, like he can’t believe this is what I’ve discovered about myself…or what he’s missed out on.
‘Your turn.’ I peek down at his cock and sure enough, it’s standing to attention, waiting for me. ‘Umm, something that you’ve never tried but would be…willing to try?’ I hope there’s something he hasn’t done that he can share with me. I want at least one of his firsts. A pang stings my heart, just for a moment.
‘You’re going to think I’m fucked.’ Now he’s embarrassed. I pinch his hip and he yelps.
‘Honesty, remember?’ I look up at him to show how serious I am about this.
He groans, covering his face with his free hand. ‘Rimming.’
I cough, not catching what he says at first. ‘Rimming?’ I ask. ‘As in me rimming you, or you rimming me?’
‘Both,’ he says sheepishly, turning his face away from me.
I mull that over for a moment. I mean, I like back door action, and I do love when a guy explores there with his tongue, but I can’t say I’ve ever reciprocated.
‘Okay.’ I say it so simply, making his head whip in my direction.
‘What?’ he splutters.
Shrugging, I tell him it’s no big deal. ‘I’ll try that on you. If you like it, great. If not, we just won’t do it again.’
‘Fuck me dead. I can’t believe I was enough of a cunt to let you go.’ He hugs me to him, dropping a sweet kiss on my head.