Page 93 of Pieces of Us

‘Anal?’ I nod, confirming I like it, to which he sends a prayer up to the Lord himself, making me giggle.

‘Favourite position?’

He changes his answer about ten different times. ‘Doggy. No. Missionary with legs over my shoulder. No. Cowgirl. No. Reverse Cowgirl. No. Spooning. No. Scissoring. No. Up against the wall.’

I smack him. ‘Okay, sex addict.’ Laughing, he pulls me tighter to him and starts tickling me until I’m panting. Once we’re done, the questions resume.

‘Most depraved thing you like?’

‘When a guy comes on my face, but unexpectedly—like, is rough—then demands I drop to my knees and…you know…just kind of sprays me. I like being a little degraded, too, I guess. Being called a…slut.’

‘Who the fuck are you?’ he huffs out, disbelieving.

I shrug.

‘I’m definitely not the shy girl I was,’ I murmur, reflecting on how long it has taken me to be this comfortable. I would never tell him this, but it’s all thanks to Jagger. He made me feel secure enough to take control of my sexual wants and needs.

‘I’m a fucking idiot,’ he laments, banging his head back on the headboard. ‘Have you ever squirted?’ I nod, winking up at him. ‘I hate him.’ AKA Jagger. He knocks his head back again. ‘Was it something I did…wrong?’ Shit, he’s now comparing his skills to Jagger.

‘No,’ I say it firmly, shuffling up so I can look him in the eyes, placing my hand on his cheek so his eyes are in direct line with mine. ‘I’m just not a virgin anymore. I know my body now, and how to get there with or without a partner.’ I give him a tender kiss on the lips, hoping this doesn’t deter him from hopefully fucking my brains out later. This is the exact conversation we needed to have so we could get our fears and expectations out there.

‘Toys?’

‘Love them. I’ve never tried being double stuffed, but I’d be down, and I want to try nipple clamps. Vibrators are a yes, same with being restrained. Spanking. Yes. But not with a paddle or anything,...I don’t think I’m into BDSM or anything really hardcore.’

‘I can’t process this,’ he chuckles. ‘I…I am speechless.’

Sex with Jagger wasn’t a coping mechanism. That’s not who or what he was for me. Discovering all this about myself was just as shocking for me. In a way, though, it did make me feel normal about myself. Like I wasn’t just a broken girl with addiction or mental health issues. I was desirable, and I could enjoy my life. Life after Linc.

Not wanting to walk down that road again, I ask him my next question.

‘Hmm. Hottest thing a girl can do for you?’

‘Cockwarming.’ It’s such an automatic response that I’m taken aback a little.

Huh, I didn’t expect that. ‘We used to do that.’ I think back to how he’d want to stay inside me for hours, or at least until we heard the garage door groan, signalling his dad was home.

‘We sure did.’ He grins down at me, kissing me three times on my head. ‘I haven’t done that with anyone except you. Your heat is just different. I loved how warm you were, and I didn’t want to let you go.’ I hug him tightly. ‘But…I think I want to try when a girl—’ I quirk my eyebrow in disapproval. ‘You,’ he backtracks. ‘I think I want you to…um, well, maybe try it with your mouth.’

Curiosity wins. ‘How would that work? How does that work?’

‘It’s like a comfort thing, I guess, for both of us? I mean, if you’ve had a hard day or I have, it’s where you’d just keep me in your mouth and I’d just stroke your hair, and we’d just be content.’ I’m sure butterflies are about to shoot out of my pussy; it’s fluttering intensely at the thought.

‘Sounds hot.’ I love that he’s letting me in like this.

‘Really?’ Shock registers in his voice.

‘Yeah. I mean, I’ve never done it, but I’d be okay having your cock in my mouth. Sounds soothing.’

‘Christ, baby. You’re killing me.’ His heart is beating erratically under my hand. ‘You don’t know how badly I want all of this with you.’

‘What exactly?’ A lustful haze blankets every one of my senses, needing to hear how much he wants me.

‘I want to shove my cock down your throat and leave it there for you to choke on. I want to come all over your pretty face, and then I want to fuck you like a dirty little fucking slut, until every one of your holes are dripping with me.’

I can’t take any more of these questions. My pussy or mouth really needs attention. Needs to be stuffed. Needs to be dripping. I need to feel how unhinged he is for me, and I for him.

‘Then what are you waiting for?’ My voice comes out husky and low.

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