Page 65 of Run Little Fawn

I reach out, brushing a strand of hair from her face with a gentleness I didn't know I possessed.

"I'm not a good man, Aria," I murmur. "I'm not even sure I'm a man at all, or anything more than a ruthless, broken, soulless machine. Just like him."

Aria's brow furrows, her eyes searching mine with an intensity that makes me want to look away. But I don't. I can't. Not now.

Not when I've finally let her see the truth of who and what I am.

"Is he the one making you do this?" she asks softly, her voice laced with a concern I don't deserve. "Your father?"

A humorless laugh escapes my lips, the sound harsh and grating even to my own ears. "No," I reply, shaking my head. "He's not making me do anything. Not anymore."

I turn away from her, pacing the room like a caged animal. The memories rise up unbidden, threatening to choke me with their bitter poison.

"He showed up shortly after my mother's death," I explain, my voice flat and emotionless. "I was fifteen, and my older brother had just died. Fate, my father called it."

I glance back at Aria, a twisted, rueful grin playing at the corners of my mouth. "He finally had a use for me, you see. He needed an heir, someone to carry on his legacy of cruelty and corruption. So he took me in, trained me. Groomed me to be a monster."

Aria's eyes widen, horror and understanding dawning in their depths. "And you went along with it," she whispers, her voice barely audible over the pounding of my own heart. "To get your revenge."

I nod, my jaw clenching with the effort it takes to keep my composure. "It's the only way I can get close enough to him," I grit out. "The only way I can tear down the house of cards he's built. To make him pay for what he's done."

Aria takes a step toward me, her hand outstretched as if to touch me. But she hesitates, her fingers hovering just above my skin.

"Even if it means destroying yourself in the process?" she asks, her voice trembling with an emotion I can't quite name. "Do you really think your mother would want that?"

Her words hit me like a physical blow, knocking the air from my lungs and the fight from my body.

Her words cut deep, slicing through the walls I've spent years building around my heart. For a moment, I waver, the weight of my choices bearing down on me like a physical force.

But then I remember my mother's face, pale and drawn in those final days. The way her eyes dulled with each passing hour, the light within them slowly extinguished by the poison coursing through her veins. A poison put there by the man who should have loved her, protected her.

The man whose blood runs through my veins, a curse I can never escape.

No, my mother wouldn't want this for me. She wouldn't want me to lose myself in the darkness, to become the very thing I despise.

But that's all the more reason I have to avenge her.

She's gone, and the only way I can honor her memory is by making sure her killer pays for what he's done.

I step back from Aria, my jaw clenching as I force myself to meet her gaze. Her eyes are wide and shining with unshed tears, a mirror of the emotions I refuse to let myself feel. I can't afford to be weak, not now.

Not when I'm so close to achieving my goal.

"It doesn't matter what she would want," I say, my voice cold and unyielding. "She's dead, and nothing can change that. Dead people won't want anything. But I can make sure her death wasn't in vain."

Aria flinches at my words, her hand falling back to her side. "Lucian, please," she whispers, her voice breaking on my name. "You don't have to do this. There has to be another way."

A bitter laugh escapes my lips, the sound harsh and grating in the stillness of the room. "There is no other way," I snap, my anger rising to the surface like a tidal wave. "Don't you get it? This is who I am, Aria. This is all I'll ever be."

I turn away from her, but I can feel her eyes on me, boring into my back like laser sights. But I refuse to turn around, refuse to let her see the war raging inside me.

"The fourth hunt begins at seven," I say, my voice flat and emotionless. "Be ready."

I don't wait for her response. I can't. If I stay here a moment longer, I'll break. I'll shatter.

And I don't know if I'll be able to put myself back together again.

So I walk away, my footsteps echoing loudly in the silence of the room. I can hear Aria's breath hitch behind me, a soft, broken sound that pierces me like a knife.

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