Page 33 of When I Fall In Love

“I’ll have some of the wine, thanks.” Memories bubble up of that summer, so long ago now, but I push them away as I scan the deck. The place is filled with people who I gauge are around Ethan’s age. His friends. Hunter is nowhere to be seen.

Ethan is already welcome-hugging someone else and gets pulled into conversation with the new arrivals.

“Have you seen Hunter’s house?” Georgiana asks as she pours the wine.

“Nope.” I stare through the glass walls into the big, open-plan space. It looks spectacular and my gaze jumps from the living room to the kitchen to the dining area all the way to the house’s entrance, which has another see-through glass door. May Brodie is letting herself in and across the vast space, our gazes connect.

I bite my lip as emotions grip me. Love misplaced and found, a regret for lost time, Mom’s passing which still sits raw and shallow in my chest, making my heart physically ache at times.

“Hunter went to fetch more firewood from his stack, so I’ll give you a tour?” Georgiana asks, but then she stills next to me. I glance at her, but Georgiana’s eyes are also on May. “We’ll skip the tour but go inside. Aunt May would like to catch up with you and it’s too rowdy outside for that.” Georgiana gives my forearm a small squeeze. “We’ll reconnect later.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, already magnetizing to May as she too lengthens her steps. She looks just the same, and although her thick brown braid is streaked with grey, her blue eyes still hold the same spark from years ago.

“My dearest, darling girl.” For the third time in minutes, I’m wrapped in a tight hug, but this one… this is one I’ve needed for years. I’m not sure for how long we cling to each other, but by the time we pull away, both our cheeks are wet and May chuckles softly. “We’ve missed you so much. I’m so happy and grateful that I get to see you.”

I wish I could hide my face in her embrace again because I’m leaving, soon. How stupid of me to think I could come here, zap in and out like a chameleon’s tongue, grab what I need and be done. I was crazy to think I could come here and not see May or leave a visit to Brodie Farm for the last day like an afterthought. Squeeze it in before I head to the airport and back to a life I hate.

Oh God. That realization is so sudden and hits me so squarely between the eyes that I take a wobbly step back. Do I? Hate my life in San Francisco?

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s sit down. I need to hear everything.” May leads the way to the living room, a spacious area with a grey sectional and some accent chairs. There’s no TV, but there’s a giant fireplace that for now holds only decorative pinecones. “Hunter is getting wood and will come light that in a minute.”

“Can I get you a drink?” I finally manage, my own glass of red hanging from my hand.

“The boys will sort me out.”

May smiles at me as she sits down and pats the seat next to her, indicating for me to join her. I put my wine down on the side table and sit down next to her on the cloudy sofa. It’s as if my soul sinks into the soft seat and comfy backrest, at ease for the first time in months. For a moment it’s quiet between us, and then May says, as she takes my hand between hers, “I’m sorry for your loss. Colleen was a close friend.”

“Thank you.” There isn’t much else to say, and as May takes me in with her gaze, she squeezes my hand.

“We kept contact all the years after you left. At first only Christmas cards, then letters and later the odd email and phone call.”

“You did? I didn’t know.” Mom said she broke off all contact with everybody in Ashleigh Lake. “My mom died with so many secrets.”

“I can imagine… Colleen wasn’t one to talk much. She always kept to herself, which was one thing folks in this town were slow to accept. I know she didn’t have an easy time integrating when you first arrived here.”

We never really integrated, but now that the truth is out, I understand why Mom kept to herself. We were her biggest secret of all. People ask questions, people talk, and Mom had to keep a roof over our heads.

“We were so young when we came to Ashleigh Lake.” I was going into third grade and Kyle was starting school. We were oblivious to the undercurrents that ruled Mom’s life and she made sure to keep them out of sight.

“Did this whole thing with Collingwood Farm come as a surprise then?”

“More than a surprise—it was a bit of a shock to be honest, what with learning that he was our father.” Mostly because he never showed the slightest interest in us.

“I can image.” May squeeze my hand again. “Humans are complex, and we never know what really goes on between people, but this inheritance—” She breaks off and shakes her head.

“Yes? What about it?” If May knows anything about Mom’s secrets, I want to hear them all.

“I hope it proves to you that he loved you, you know?” She meets my gaze, her hand warm over mine, sending courage through touch. “Old Collingwood. He loved you. He couldn’t show it while you were under his roof so to speak, but he did, in this final gesture.”

The world shrinks to me and May and her words. He loved you.

I close my eyes, leaning into the riot of emotions crashing through my chest. Tears stream down in quiet rivulets, but I don’t try to hold them back. Last night I told Hunter I don’t know what I’m doing back in Ashleigh Lake, but this is what I came for, wasn’t it? I couldn’t pinpoint what I was looking for, not even knowing where to look, but this revelation could lead to peace and closure.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” May murmurs and I feel her gathering me into a hug. One of those motherly ones that seem to wipe out half the worries in the world.

“I never thought of the inheritance that way.” And I bet this hasn’t crossed Kyle’s mind either. Poor Kyle, who as a boy had wanted a dad more than anything and didn’t know he was right there on our doorstep. Dearest Kyle, who would have defended our honor like a medieval knight on that eviction day if he had it in him to stand up against Lady Collingwood. He still regrets to this day that he didn’t do anything, but he was only a boy, too shocked like the rest of us in the moment to even get out one word.

“Well, take some time to digest it when you have some quiet around you.”

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