Page 68 of When I Fall In Love

We split up, and I hold the passenger door open for May so she can clamber in. She has something on her heart, and I don’t know if I should be behind the wheel when she says it. I get into the driver’s seat. “What is it?”

“Oh, get going. It’s nothing serious.” She exhales in a deep sigh. “Except that it is.”

I start the ignition and drive off, trying not to hold my breath. The few heart-to-hearts I’ve had with my adoptive parents have always included both of them. They kind of liked ganging up and cornering me. But now it’s only May and that grip around my throat squeezes.

Soon we’re outside of Montpelier on the interstate to Burlington, and still May has said nothing. I shoot her a glance and in the soft light coming from the moon, catch a tear cruising down her cheek.

I reach for her hand. “He’s going to be okay, Aunt May. I know it in my gut.”

“Yes. I bet he is. He has too much to live for… so many things we still want to do.” She breaks into a sob-riddled chuckle. “I mean, we only have Hannah. We have seven kids and only one grandchild! It’s ridiculous.”

I bite back a laugh. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I think you should look to Raiden and Georgiana in that department.”

May pulls a tissue from her purse. “Bless Georgiana. That girl has been a godsend.”

There’s no arguing with that, so I sigh and focus on the road.

“You know, the last thing I wanted for you and Beth is this rupture that’s happened between you again.”

“Rupture?”

“Yes. I can read between the lines, Hunter. This thing with Bill has meddled with your time with her in the worst possible way.”

“Aunt May—”

“I saw the way you look at her, Hunter. When you fell in love with Beth years ago, it was forever.”

“Yes.” That May understands and can see right into my heart is no surprise to me. There’s no point in objecting to the obvious. Beth is my soulmate and I’ve been stupid to think of her in any other way. We were too young when we first got together and then we got torn apart. Everything that stood between us for years became like a brick wall with a new layer cemented in every day. The week with her was like a wrecking ball taking a good solid swing and breaking a hole through that wall, exposing the truth.

May draws in a shaky breath. “You know I believe everything happens for a reason.”

“Yes.” This was May’s religion—a reason for everything, whether you see it now or only ten years down the line.

“The one thing we all believe is that we have more time.” She pauses and when I glance at her, she’s crumpling her tissue in her fingers. “More time, Hunter. That’s the one thing none of us has. Every second of every minute of every day is a sand grain through our hourglass, and none of us knows how much sand is left. We can only see what’s in our past, the time we’ve had, the time we wasted.”

“Uncle Bill—”

“This isn’t about Bill. This is about you. You have your entire life ahead of you, Hunter, and so far you’ve lived it for everybody but yourself. You’ve cared and looked out for your brothers like nobody could expect from a twelve-year-old who’d lost both his parents in a car crash. You’ve been looking after Derek ever since that day he came home with Hannah in his arms. And Rachel, making sure she’s set up. Liam is cruising through medical school without a student loan, and now Lucy, what with her cooking in France. And you know, they are all okay. Even Raiden has managed to find his way. I’m not worried about any of them, but I’m worried about you. Hunter, it’s time you start looking after yourself. Put yourself first.”

The meaning of her words is almost foreign to me. “I’m doing fine, look at the business—”

“No, Hunter. You’re not fine. Not when it comes to your heart and the woman you’ve lost. Not when it comes to the most important things in life.”

I grip the steering wheel tighter, her words hard to digest. Yes, I’ve been looking after my family, but I have the means to, and who wouldn’t do so if they did? After everything my brothers have been through, I can’t imagine living life any other way, being any other way.

“You never left Ashleigh Lake for Stanford because you were scared things would fall apart even more,” May says. “You stayed here for your brothers, and everything you’ve built since that day has rooted you even more firmly in place, so much so that it now seems impossible to leave.”

Trust May to sum up my life in a few bitter sentences.

“Do me a favor, will you?” she says, her eyes on me.

“Sure, anything you ask.” As the words slip out, I know I’ve cornered myself.

She chuckles. “You should be careful with promises like that.”

I smile back and the atmosphere in the car eases a bit.

“Once Bill has come through this operation, I want you to take the time and think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Whether you’re going to offer it up at the altar of others, or if you are going to take a little bit of it for yourself. Whether you’re going to put Beth first and put yourself first in the process. That’s all I ask.”

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