Page 201 of Sinful Blaze

“Hey, Asya? It’s me. Yeah, I’m fine…” I can’t finish saying the word. Tears spill from my eyes and lodge a thick lump in my throat. “I’m not,” I hiccup. “I’m… I’m… I’m in labor.”

“Breathe, malyshka.” Asya’s voice is so soothing in my ear. “Breathe deep; breathe slow. We’re on our way.”

I don’t have time to ask her about Pasha. Jameson whips the car up through the ramp to the Emergency Room entrance and leaps out, shouting and waving for the nurses to come help get me out of the car. Ivan pulls up behind us and yanks my door open.

Someone pushes a wheelchair over to us. I’m hoisted in and wheeled inside, trying to keep up with the whirlwind of information Melanie is giving the attending nurse.

“Let’s get you in a room.” The nurse nods to her colleagues, who begin the check-in process at the desk. “You came at a good time. We should have a doctor taking a look at you in just a few minutes.”

We’re escorted back through the double doors and into a room that the nurse explains will only be temporary. Either I’m just having Braxton-Hicks contractions and I’m good to go home, or I’m actually in labor and will be sent upstairs to the maternity ward.

“No matter what, we’ll take good care of you.”

I try to smile.

I just wish my heart wasn’t shattering in the middle of all this.

True to their word, the doctor enters the room within a matter of minutes. She checks my chart, my vitals reading, and makes a few notes on her clipboard. “You’re a tad early, but well within the healthy range. Do you have a birthing plan?”

Yes. The plan was for Pasha to be here while I gave birth!

I try to stifle my sob and shake my head. “No.”

“It’s okay.” The doctor squeezes my hand. “This is your first baby, yes? It’s always a bit scary the first time, but we’ve got a great team ready to take care of you.”

“Isn’t… isn’t it Braxton-Hicks? Can’t this just be a false alarm?”

“Normally, I’d say yes, but not this time. Your contractions are too close together. And…” She glances down between my legs, which suddenly feel a lot warmer. “Your water just broke.”

This can’t be happening. Not without Pasha. “No! It’s too early!”

The nurses usher my sister and brother-in-law outside of the room to make room. Ivan’s on the phone with someone and constantly checking on me through the window.

That is, until one of the nurses yanks the curtain shut. They move so quickly, so perfectly in sync; I don’t stand a chance in stopping them.

The doctor smiles at me sympathetically. “A myriad of different things can cause early labor, stress being the biggest one. Have you experienced any intense stress recently?”

I almost burst into laughter. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“Well, there you go. Your body goes through a lot to protect you and your baby from the damages stress can cause. At this stage, your body has decided it’s safer for your baby to be in your arms.” Again, she squeezes my hand, her smile brightening. “Are you ready to meet your daughter?”

No. “Yes.” I sniff.

The calm of the storm lasts long enough for the medical team to wheel me up to the maternity ward. The rooms here are private and cozy, so far removed from the mechanical sterility of the emergency ward.

Pasha would love this. He’d have me using the hot tub they have available for water birthing. He’d be daubing my brow with silk handkerchiefs.

Where is he?!

“I don’t… I can’t…”

The panic is back.

I don’t want to do this without him.

I can’t do this without him.

I try to sit up, to roll out of the bed, but nurses and Melanie rush to my side and ease me back down.

---