Page 113 of One Hellish Desire

I freeze. She really wants to come with me alone? Does she know how much I want to take her out alone? And what are the possibilities of what I might end up doing to her? I’ve fantasized about doing many things with her while showing her the city where I’ve lived. Is she ready for all that? Nope! I can’t be that hopeful yet. Maybe she’s doing this only to show Daadi that all is well between us.

“Prince Pompous,” she snaps her fingers. “The upma is getting cold.”

I see a teasing smile on her face, as if she knows I have to obey her and pretend to be good with Daadi beside us.

Mom stares at me again as I relish the upma more than my toast and scrambled eggs.

“You recall we have to attend a party tomorrow evening,” Mom reminds me.

I nod, acknowledging her question. I’m not going to skip that party. It’s one of my friend Nate’s wedding receptions, and I can’t miss it for anything.

Mom turns to Maahi. “You can join us too or…”

“She’s coming along,” I reply on Maahi’s behalf. “All my friends will attend that reception, and they’re dying to meet my wife. Now that she’s here, I want her to come along.”

Maahi gives me a tight-lipped smile, and it’s hard to tell if I’m forcing her to attend that party or if she’s just surprised I’m still interested in taking her along despite our cold fight. But it doesn’t matter how much we argue, fight, or stay away from each other. Maahi is still my wife and has to accommodate events like these, just as I’ll make myself free to attend hers.

When breakfast is over and everyone disperses to their respective rooms, Maahi walks towards me, but I head to my study where I usually work when at home. She follows, and I hear her groan in displeasure.

“Vikram, stop doing this to me.”

As soon as I reach the study, I stop and turn around. “I think you probably want me to stop breathing too,” I snap.

She looks horrified. “What makes you say that? I’m just asking you to stop ignoring me or pretending as if I don’t exist here.”

“I’m giving you space, just like you want.”

“I don’t need your space. I need your time and physical presence so we can sit, talk, and get over this issue that’s been haunting us both since last night.”

She wants to sit and talk? Hmm.

“Ignoring me is not going to work, especially when we only have six days left before I fly back.”

She’s right. I’ve already wasted one day. I won’t waste more.

“Lock that damn door then,” I command. “I don’t want anyone to know what we speak here.”

She doesn’t delay locking us inside my study, and suddenly the air between us shifts. I’ve imagined my wife here, not letting me work. Shit! Not now, please. I want to focus on what she wants to talk about. Maahi crosses her arms as she reaches me.

“I want our marriage to work.” She says out loud.

“You want it to work?” I mock. “I don’t see how exactly you plan to make it work.”

“That’s because you aren’t seeing in the right direction, Vikram.”

“I’m not seeing right?” I take a step forward, but she doesn’t move back like other times. This time, she takes a step forward to me. Our bodies are inches apart, and yet that’s enough for every fiber of my body to scream that I’m entering the red zone and should step away if that’s not what she wants from me at this moment.

“Yes, you are not seeing it right. Vikram, to be honest, I don’t have much experience in what a relationship should be like as I never dated anyone before. And I can’t say that about you, as I am aware you had a fair share of relationships before.”

“I never did serious relationships either,” I declare.

She goes quiet for a minute. “Not serious, but you have been out with women. You have experience and know exactly what you want to give your woman or desire from her,” she argues. “In my case, I am … clueless.”

Okay. Now I’m embarrassed. I never thought Maahi would openly talk about my past affairs. Yes, they weren’t serious, but now that my wife is discussing them, I worry about my reputation before her. I wish I could rewind my life and erase those moments to be a husband as innocent and inexperienced as she probably wished for. But one thing I don’t understand. How can she be clueless? She has friends who have boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands. They must have shared their experiences, and Daadi? I’m sure she must be telling her every single time how to be a good partner.

“I don’t understand what you want to tell me, Cub.” I exhale.

“Vikram,” she lets out a heavy sigh. “An emotional connection between two people is primal for me. Without that, if I just give in to those physical needs, I don’t think this will work for long. And God knows I want to hold on to this marriage till I take my last breath.”

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