Page 114 of One Hellish Desire

I choke! She wants me till the end of her life? I will be, I promise silently to myself. But I have my doubts right now. I grab her arms and pull her close.

“If you were married to Shyam, would you treat him the same way you treat me?” I urge to know.

Now she is speechless, and I bring her even closer. “Would you make him take your permission to kiss?” I continue.

Maahi is confused as hell, and I am so annoyed for even giving her this situation where she has to think of Shyam, but she made me do so. “Would you never let him touch you, and if he still did…” I bring her face closer to mine, our lips an inch away. “If he still touched you, would you think it’s inappropriate and push him away like you push me?”

“Vikram...” she gasps, breathing hard. I’m suffocating her, giving her confused signals which I shouldn’t. So I leave her and pass a sarcastic mock. “Probably you wouldn’t do any of that. Maybe you were emotionally connected to him more than you are to me.”

She looks away for a moment to breathe and compose herself. Once she is good enough to talk, she turns back and meets my gaze.

“Stop comparing yourself with Shyam,” she blurts. “You are anything but him.”

“Good or bad?” I ask. “What am I to you? A husband who is only seeking an opportunity to sleep with his wife? To claim her?”

“Vikram, you are making this difficult,” she scolds.

I cool down. Maybe I am making this difficult. I shut my eyes briefly before lowering my tone and looking back at her. “Fine. I don’t see where this conversation is leading. All I know is that you want to connect with me emotionally first before giving me the honor to make love to you the way I want.”

I see her cheeks flush with color. “No,” she mumbles. “Not exactly.”

Now I’m even more confused, but I still nod. “Care to explain what you want me to do? I’m blank… totally.”

“I want both the emotional and physical bonding between us to run parallel in our lives, which is clearly not happening in our case. All I see is your desire for me, but you are still such a closed book. Until a few days ago, I didn’t even know who Sabrina was, and that she is so close to you and your parents. I understand our marriage was rushed. But let’s rectify this now. I want to know more about you, Vikram. More, maybe everything. I want to know you better in every way, like a wife should.”

Okay. That interests me for sure. I wait as she keeps explaining.

“Everything about your lifestyle, choices, likes, friends, enemies, and crushes. I want every detail, both good and bad. And likewise, I want to share mine. I need transparency in our relationship, honesty, mutual respect, and most importantly, I don’t want you to dominate me ever. Treat me as an equal because we are life partners, not like a boss and employee where you always have the upper hand. I want to be your friend, your confidant. I want to know all your secrets. I want to share all mine. I want to have a relationship with you, date you before I become your wife. I…”

She pauses. “Do you even know what I mean? Am I still confusing you?”

Damn hell! I wasn’t expecting this. I have never opened up all my secrets, all the pages of my life, everything about me, to anyone. It’s like people who know me know me in bits, not as a whole. This sudden idea of sharing everything, however good or bad, without having the fear of being judged, to one single person, especially the one who is my wife, is daunting. But I will. If that’s what she wants, I will. My slight nod as an approval to her demands brings a contented smile to her face. I move closer to her, standing a foot away without breaking our eye contact.

“But I have a condition before we start revising our relationship.”

“I’m ready,” she quickly agrees, and she says it by heart, I know. A smirk appears on my face almost immediately. She has no clue what my condition is, and yet she innocently agreed?

“No more rules. No more permissions,” I declare. Maahi goes numb, that smile wiped off her face as I continue. “If at any moment, any situation, one of us feels the urge to cross a line with the other, one at a time, and if the other is comfortable enough to accept it, we shouldn’t back off.”

Maahi swallows.

“We need to explore this relationship both ways, Maahi. I think that’s fair.”

She takes a few seconds to decide. When she thinks, her eyes glow, and I can’t wait to know her answer. I realize she has already agreed a minute ago, but I’m giving her time to change her mind if she wants to.

Sucking in a deep breath, she takes a fortifying gulp and agrees. “Okay.”

Perfect! We smile at each other, lost in our own bubble for a moment.

CHAPTER 31

MAAHI

I’m back in Vikram’s bedroom and very excited. It’s fair enough that Vikram and I explore this relationship both ways, as he suggested. His attraction for me has always been evident, but I kept him at bay because he was a closed book. Now that he's willing to share his secrets, I can open that door of my heart for him. A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. Daadi enters, looking quite happy.

“You aren’t ready yet?” she asks. “Don’t make my grandson wait for you so long.”

I shrug, turning to my open bag on the bed. “I don’t know what to wear. You packed so many outfits that I’m a bit confused.”

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