Page 89 of Mob Star

I step away and walk to my closet. I consolidated a lot into a couple bags and a box. I didn’t want to freak her out if she saw what everything originally came in. I carry it all to the bed.

“I don’t expect you to accept everything because I bought it. If there’s anything that’s unappealing, I put it away, and we don’t think about it again unless you bring it up. I will do things to you in a physical sense, but I want this— the intimacy —to be done with you not done to you.”

“I get the difference, and that’s what I want too.”

From the box, I pull out handcuffs and padded cuffs, a collar, a leather cat o’ nine tails with smooth lashes and one with leather barbs on the lashes, a paddle with holes and one without, a flogger, shibari rope, nipple clamps with and without a clit clamp, a Wartenberg wheel, a box with an assortment of butt plugs, a vaginal plug, a vaginal spreader, a vibrator, a vibrating dildo, a vibrating egg, various gags, two spreader bars, and Ben Wa balls.

I watch Thea as I pull each item out and lay them on the bed. I see interest in all of them, but I fear I’ve bought far, far too much. She must sense my nervousness because she puts her hand on my forearm.

“How fast can we try everything?”

“There’s nothing here that’s off-putting or you fear trying?”

“Nope. I want it all.”

I pick up the collar. “I will never make you crawl or follow me with this. I will use the leash to move your head, but that’s it.”

“And if I want you to use it as a leash? I’m offering you free use because I want you to have complete control. I want you to stop me from what I’m doing to do what you want. Go where you want.”

“You know my desire is for you, not a desire to control you, right?”

“I do. That’s the only way I would offer this or agree to it. You want me. You could do this at a club with someone else or have a sub if it was just about control over someone. I don’t think I’m generally insecure. I think I’ve grown past most of it. But I think it’s human nature to want to feel desired by your partner. I admit— my pride— ego —whatever —wants you to desire me over everything or anything else right now. That this only ends if you’re called away.”

“Don’t tempt fate.” I’m quick with that response.

I want nothing to tear me away from Thea right now. I never want to be apart from her, but especially not while we’re sharing something like this that bonds us more than I’ve ever had with any woman and differently from how I’m bonded to my family.

“Are you okay with me being that needy, Daddy?”

“You’re not being needy in the least. You’re telling me as an equal partner what you want and need.”

I move to the bag and pull out various pieces of lingerie. I glanced at her bras a few times to see if I could catch the size on them. I did. That’s the only way I knew what to get. There are teddies, sheer camisoles, and bustiers. There’s one thing there’s none of: panties. The teddies have snap crotches.

“No panties, Daddy? Good.”

She grins, and I can’t help but offering her a ridiculously eager one back. It’s fucking Christmas.

“What do you want to try first, little one?”

“You pick.”

“I will this time. But if I ask again, it’s because the way I want it is the way you say.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

I survey the collection in front of us. How the fuck do I choose when I’ve set up a Smorgasbord? I grab the handcuffs, the Ben Wa balls, a medium size butt plug and the bottle of lube I forgot to pull out, and the smooth whip. I snap the collar around her neck and pick up the leash. Leading her is fucking exciting. I feared how it would make her feel if I suggested it, but it’s what she wants. I guide her around to the side of the bed.

“Lean forward, hands beneath you. Feet apart, turned in.” My hand lands across her arse as she does what I say.

I appreciate the sight in front of me. She’s exquisite. A round arse I can’t wait to hold onto as I plow her cunt then come in her arse. Long legs likely toned— at least in part —from all the walking she does. A waist that dips in enough to hold her in place more easily. And I know there are tits beneath her I love to play with.

“I’m going to put this plug in. If it’s too much once it’s in, tell me immediately. You know better than most the risks with anal.”

“I promise, Finn. You’re trusting me just as much as I’m trusting you. I don’t want to lose that. I know you’ll feel guilty and refuse to risk harming me if I don’t tell you if we reach one of my limits. I won’t put you in that position, and I don’t want to stop this. I want us to keep sharing more.”

I lean over her and kiss between her shoulder blades. I’ve always been careful with past partners. But the fear that I could harm someone so precious to me is new and overwhelming. However, this is already an important part of our relationship and how we communicate what we haven’t said. Feelings far deeper that most people would say couldn’t exist between people who haven’t spent nearly enough time together. Feelings that most people would say are just infatuation. It’s not. I’ve been infatuated before. This is nothing like that.

I pour lube over the plug and onto her arse as I spread her cheek. I ease the plug into her and twist it three times. She says nothing, but she pushes her arse toward me. I oblige. I slap each cheek before helping her stand. I give her a moment, and she nods. With the leash, I lead her out to the dining room. I have the handcuffs, whip, and Ben Wa balls in the other hand. When we get to the dining room, I pull out a chair. Mine have a full back, but there is a slat at the bottom. I’ve never done this before because I’ve never brought a woman back to my place. It’s my sanctuary.

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