Page 143 of The Moment You Know

Paige nodded slowly. “Yes, and I have a feeling it’s going to take a while. Which is fine, because no matter how ready I think I am, this isn’t something I can afford to rush into. I have to be careful. I don’t want to get into a sexual situation and have it fall apart on me like it used to, and find out I’m still not able to enjoy sex, because that would be devastating. I also don’t want another man to experience what you did with me—”

“Paige.”

“What? I don’t.”

She gave him a look that said Don’t argue with me, and held it until he put his hands up in surrender.

“So, that being said, I’ve gone out with several men in the past few months, and so far it’s been, um, how do I say this? It’s been really, really disappointing. I haven’t had more than one date with any of them, which isn’t even the most disappointing part—”

“What? Really?”

“Really. It’s funny—well, not really funny—but do you remember the guy I was with that night at Bender’s? Hale?”

“Yes. The guy in the suit.”

“Well, that’s actually the best date I’ve had so far.”

“What?”

“I mean the connection that I felt with Hale. We had this great chemistry, but unfortunately it ended up not going anywhere, because I couldn’t separate him from what happened that night. He tried so hard to get me to change my mind and go out with him again, but I just couldn’t.”

Recalling Hale’s concern for Paige in the hospital and his unhappiness when he’d left, David knew the connection had obviously gone both ways. “I’m sorry,” he said, thinking how differently the last few months would’ve played out for Paige had she never crossed paths with him and Ashley that night.

And, on the flip side, how different the last few months would’ve played out for him and Ashley.

“I’m sorry, too,” Paige said. “Hale was one of the good ones, unlike the majority of men I’ve gone out with.”

“Has it really been that bad?”

Paige took a deep breath and released it, her cheeks puffing out. “Unfortunately, yes. Now, I realize I’ve been away from the dating scene for a while and I recently completed extensive therapy for sexual abuse, so there’s a chance I could be reacting in an overly sensitive manner, but …” she trailed off for a second. “The more men I go out with, the more I think the problem isn’t me. Unless the problem is that I’m a magnet for men on the douchebag spectrum, which actually could be the case considering my track record.”

“Douchebag spectrum?”

“Jules came up with that and it’s very real. When I made the decision to start dating, she warned me about it and I had no idea what she was talking about.” Paige shook her head. “I figured out what she was talking about really quick. My introduction to the spectrum was on my second date, with a guy who squeezed my boob before he even tried to kiss me—”

“What?”

“Yeah. He apologized, but that was the end of him. Then there was the guy who wanted to meet at Applebee’s for a drink and an appetizer. An appetizer,” she repeated with disgust. “Not even dinner. And it was happy hour, so my drink was half-price. Then he had the balls to suggest we ‘get to know each other better’ at his place, but there wasn’t a chance in hell that was going to happen. Not only was he a cheap-ass, but he probably had less experience with a woman’s clit than I did.”

“That seems kind of harsh.” David chuckled, unable to stop himself. “Just because he was a cheap-ass didn’t mean his fingers weren’t magical. But that’s something you’ll never know, now.”

“You’re right. And I’ve never once regretted not knowing. Especially not after seeing him eat a bunch of chicken wings dripping with barbecue sauce.”

David’s chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. “Fair enough. So, was he your worst date?”

“I wish. No, my worst date was with a guy who was actually married.”

“What the fuck?” he asked, his laughter dying a quick death.

“That’s what I said when I found out.”

“Hopefully you found out early in the date?”

“Not early enough,” she answered drily. “Not that it was really going anywhere, anyway, but I did waste valuable time on this guy—not just the time I spent with him, but also the time I spent getting ready.”

He took a drink of beer and thought back to something she’d said. “So if the majority of the men you’ve gone out with are on the douchebag spectrum, what about the men that aren’t on it?”

She gave a long shrug, accompanied by a Meh expression. “The ones not on it have been nice and the dates were pretty good, but ‘pretty good’ isn’t good enough. If I’m not feeling anything after the first date, then I don’t think I’ll feel anything after the second. And I’m not settling. Not even for the guy that sort of looked like Jamie Fraser—”

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