Page 20 of Eighteen Bowties and Counting

To herself, most likely. To Mason. To everyone.

“When people find out about my heart, they treat me differently.” She reached up and brushed at her eyes in an unexpected show of emotion. “I hate it. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

He nodded, his compassion rearing up. “What—How do they treat you?”

Charlotte lifted her chin in a somewhat defiant move. She’d softened a little, though, and Beau could see her bluster was mostly a façade. She wanted to be treated fairly, and she wanted to show the world that she could do more than live with her brother and take care of his kids.

The whole picture appeared before Beau, and he suddenly wanted those things for her too.

“They treat me like I’m broken,” she said. “I’m not broken. I don’t have a problem.”

She kind of did, but he wasn’t going to push semantics. “Okay,” he said. “But we need to work out a system or some signals or Mason said something about safe words, so that when you’re in trouble and you can feel it, I can help you.”

Her shoulders lifted as she took in a big lungful of air. “It’s called vasovagal syncope.” Everything about her sagged, and she looked over to the grandfather clock. She moved in that direction. “It’s not heart disease. It’s just a condition that makes my heart…freak out when I get stressed, hurt, or sometimes when I’m standing for too long.”

Beau moved slowly closer to her. “Standing for too long, Charlotte?”

“I know how to pace myself, Beau.” She murmured his name in a soft, pretty voice, and he wanted only for her to do it again.

He positioned himself next to her. “Low blood pressure?”

“I faint when my heart rate and-or oxygen levels and-or blood pressure drop suddenly, usually in response to something startling or surprising or stressful.”

“So me walking in on you looking at these photos….” He let the words sit there, and he figured he had plenty of time and air conditioning to give Charlotte the space she needed to talk.

After a couple of minutes of the two of them standing side-by-side, she said, “I used to train and show horses, and I loved it with everything inside me.”

He moved his hand slightly, and it touched hers. He audibly pulled in a breath, and then he decided to simply go for it. If she didn’t want to hold his hand, she’d let him know. But Charlotte didn’t pull away. She didn’t move her hand back. She easily slid her palm against his, and he threaded his fingers between hers.

“I miss them so much,” she said. “My parents made me quit when I passed out in the saddle during one of my competitions. From that moment on, I’ve been watched. I had a number of tests until the doctors figured out the heart thing.”

She exhaled heavily, and Beau just wanted to wrap her up in a warm blanket and make all the ragged pieces of her smooth. “My mom limited my college classes. Then Mason and Felicity started having kids, and I went to help them.”

“You have a degree,” he whispered, almost like he was trying to get an injured bird to come closer.

“It took me thirteen years to get,” she said. “I took classes on and off while helping with the kids. I just graduated a couple of months ago.”

“That’s great, sweetheart.” And he meant it. He looked over to her. “That’s so great, Charlotte.”

She gave him a soft smile then, her eyes not moving from the pictures of Dolly on his credenza. “I can admit I was pretty proud of myself.”

Beau returned his attention to the pictures too. “Ranch management, if my memory from your résumé serves.”

“Yeah,” she said. “But I just want to be with horses. I just want to train them, and feed them, and ride them.” She leaned her head against his bicep, something about this so meaningful to Beau. “Thank you so much for giving me this job, Beau. I promise you I’m not going to let you down.”

“Mm.” He let the moment splinter, and he stepped away, dropping her hand in the process. Scratching on the back door reminded him he hadn’t let the dogs in yet. “We need a system or a sign. Safe words.” He went around the table and opened the back door for his hounds.

Pepper and Ruby came roaring inside like they’d been stuck outside in a tornado, and they both bent over the water bowl simultaneously to get a drink. Beau grinned at them, and then turned back to Charlotte. “Well?”

She sighed like he was being insufferable, but Beau wasn’t going to budge on this. “If I’m within earshot, I’ll just tell you. Or like today, I just grabbed onto you.”

“Why was that?”

“The whistle,” she said.

“Freaked you out.”

“Freaked me out,” she confirmed. “And I was just staring at those photos a few days ago, remembering so much, and Ruby touched me. That freaked me out, and I don’t know. Maybe my knees were locked, and I just passed out. You should know I haven’t fainted in at least six months.”

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