Page 111 of Impossible Love

He takes no responsibility for any of it. He’s thrown executives under the bus, pointed the finger at innocent people, and even claims he knew nothing about the many shady deals he’s managed over the years. The control freak had no idea what was going on in his own company? Not hardly.

But more than anything, my father blames me.

I realize now that the most painful part is that my father never believed in me. He never saw me for who I was, my skill, my talent, and my intelligence. Ever since Mom died, I’ve hung onto this fairy tale that I would work at my father’s side, that we would work as a team to grow the company together, as equals. In this fairy tale, I’d run Renaissance one day.

None of it was real. It was just a fantasy. And now it’s up to me to build something for myself, something real, from the ground up. I know who I am. I don’t have to wait around for someone to see me.

“Have you made a decision about the condo, Victoria?”

I nod. “I’ll have to sell it. I have permission to put everything in storage while they develop asset forfeiture plans.”

“I can help you with those arrangements.”

I nod, choking up. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, Millicent.”

“Hey.” She places her hand on my forearm. “Have you thought about calling him?”

I look at her and laugh. I know all too well who the “him” in this question is, and I don’t want to discuss Cal MacLaine. Ever again. I shake my head. “Let’s change the subject.”

“I think you need to deal with it or it will eat you alive.”

I place my napkin on the table and lean back in my chair. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m done with men who don’t believe in me, don’t see me for who I am. Never again. And besides, I’m not the one who needs to apologize.”

“Okay.”

“He said so many horrible things to me. The hits just kept on coming, like he couldn’t stop himself. What he said can’t be smoothed over.”

“I know.”

“Anyway, if he wants to apologize, he’ll have to reach out to me, not the other way around.”

Millicent folds her hands in her lap and studies me. I’m pretty sure she’s about to let me have it. “He can’t, Victoria. You changed your number.”

“Oh, shit. You’re right.”

We both laugh.

“But you still think of Cal, right?”

I sigh. “All the time. Every day. Every night.”

“You know, I haven’t wanted to mention this, but you’re still wearing his necklace.”

I reach up and brush my fingertips across his gift. She’s right. It’s still there, cradled in the hollow between my breasts, delicate and beautiful. I take it off every day before I shower. Then I put it on again. It’s a conscious choice I make, over and over again, for more than a month. It’s not like I can say I forgot I’m wearing it.

“I think you’re in love with him.”

My fingers still. I pull down my hand and take a long sip of wine. “I miss him so much I can’t breathe sometimes. I feel like I’m starving. Dying. And all I want is Cal.”

“Oh, Victoria.”

I wipe away my tears. “I miss the MacLaine family, too. They’re not perfect. No one is. But they love each other. They respect each other. I saw it in the way they choose to live their lives. And there is so much joy at the ranch.”

Millicent nods at me.

“Now that summer’s almost here, I keep thinking about what I’d be doing if I were there with Cal. I picture us cooking a good meal together, listening to jazz or me playing the piano, and soaking in the hot tub while we watch the stars.”

“It sounds lovely.”

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