Page 114 of Impossible Love

“Just tell us what you need,” Special K says.

I’m starting to feel more alive than I have in a month. My brain buzzes and my limbs tingle. I think my dipshit brothers are right for once.

I need to go to her. I need to pull myself together and get what I want.

“I need to capture my high-value target,” I say, coming to a stand.

“That’s more like it,” Finn says.

“Fuckin’-A, bro,” Special K says.

“I think we’re looking at an insertion and extraction,” Evander says.

“Sea, land, or air?” Declan asks.

An idea begins taking form in my mind. I remember what Victoria once asked me. She was on my lap, naked, my hands all over her smooth skin. She asked me if I liked surprises, and I told her it depends on who’s doing the surprising.

So all I can do is hope she likes surprises, and that somewhere, deep down, she still likes me.

“All right,” I tell my brothers. “I’m going to need all of you if I’m going to pull this off.”

Evander extends his hand palm down toward the center of our circle. One by one, we pile on. Then together we shout, “Hoo-yah!”

Chapter 60

Victoria

It’s not like my life in San Diego is ending once and for all. I can return if that’s what I want. I can come back to visit. It’s all true. But I wonder how I’ll feel after I’ve put some time and distance between myself and everything that’s happened. I may decide there’s nothing to come back to.

Even Millicent won’t be here. She’ll be working remotely from Denver, where her extended family is located. I’m not the only one packing up and getting ready to start fresh.

Somewhere.

Never in my life have I felt this untethered. I can do whatever I want. The only item on my to-do list is to think long and hard about what I want my new business to be. I’ll write a business plan, do some earnings projections, and sit on it for a while.

All I know is that the work I do next must build something more than my net worth.

My footsteps echo on bare hardwood floors as I walk through the empty condo. Movers have already taken every stick of furniture and all the clothes, linens, kitchen appliances, artwork, draperies, and everything else. I go into each of the bedrooms and baths for the last time. Then I take one more look at the ultra-modern kitchen I took such great care to design, and the dining area. I feel… nothing. I’m strangely numb. At this point, it feels like I’ve put everything in motion and I’m just along for the ride.

My car is loaded with essentials. My only plan is to wander up the West Coast, stopping where I want and staying however long I feel. I’ve always wanted to live in Vancouver, British Columbia. It’s stunningly beautiful, but the homes in that region are crazy expensive to rent. That’s another thing that’s changed for me—for the first time in my life, I’m looking at price tags.

That’s fine. As Disney Princess Elsa would say, let that shit go.

I walk into the living room and sit at my piano bench for the last time. I caress my palm along its hand-rubbed, silky finish, then let my fingers rest on the keys. The company I’ve hired to move and store my baby grand should be here any minute. I’ve left my door open behind me.

I stare out at the ocean. It hits me how alone I am. I have friends all over the world, but the truth is, my focus was my job. I never even got that cat or dog or fish. I guess it’s a good thing since I’d have to factor them in when making decisions now. Maybe one day.

My life has been all about work, work, work. And look where it’s got me.

I wonder what might happen if I drive back to Nevada, down the ranch road, and walk through Cal’s back door saying, “Surprise!” Or I can take off all my clothes and soak in the hot tub until he finds me. Now that’s a fantasy I’ll revisit alone in my bed tonight, wherever that bed may be.

I hear a soft knock on my door. It’s time to say goodbye to everything.

“Come on in. I’m ready.”

“Hello, Victoria.”

I slide across the bench and freeze. Everything tingles, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I’m stunned by how beautiful he is… has he always been this gorgeous? Am I dreaming? Worse yet, am I hallucinating?

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