“Did you make a wish?” he asks me.
“There’s no point. My wish has already come true.”
We soak for a while and then sit by the fire. Cal tells me more about the hardships of his family when they founded the ranch after the Civil War. He talks more about his mother. The instruction she gave him just before she died.
My heart aches for that young boy. I finally understand the burden that was placed on Cal, what Jamie called a terrible sense of duty.
I share more about my own childhood, the hurts, large and small. How adrift I was when my mother died. I don’t share every cruel thing my father said to me when we returned to San Diego. It’s too recent and too raw. If he asks me directly, I’ll tell him, but I don’t want to spoil this night.
I also don’t want Cal to hate him more than he already does. It’s my dream that one day my father and I might heal, meet each other halfway. I know it’s unlikely, but I want to keep that door open.
After all, I believe in miracles now. I know that anything can happen.
As we walk back to the tent, Cal asks me what I’d like to do tomorrow. He says we can go fishing in the river. We can take a horseback ride. We can hike. Or we can do more soaking.
“Let’s see what the morning brings,” I suggest.
The bed is sumptuous and soft, and it isn’t long before we’re naked, skin on skin, flesh to flesh, Cal’s warm lips kissing me everywhere. The hurried demands of earlier that day are gone. We’re both certain the other will be here when we wake. There’s no rush. There’s no reason to grab onto each other in desperation.
We simply enjoy each other. We make slow and languid love. I lose count of how many times I tell him I love him and he tells me the same. I lose track of how many times we come together during the night, bringing each other over the edge of pleasure. The silence surrounds us; the only sounds are an owl and his coyote backup singers way off in the distance.
I fall asleep, tucked into Cal’s chest. It’s the most peaceful sleep I think I’ve ever had. I wake with the sun, so relieved to find it wasn’t a dream.
Chapter 66
Victoria
We stay in Sulfur Springs for two more days, doing all the things Cal suggested. We skinny-dip in the river, and Cal catches some trout, which he prepares for dinner. We hike up a ridge, and Cal points across another river to the ranch that belongs to Nurse Phoebe’s family. We take the horses on a couple of rides, and I discover I feel more confident with each trip.
Thank goodness for the tried-and-true Bella. Her near-refusal to move forward is just what I need.
We take our time during these days, appreciating one another and learning more about each other. It’s interesting how many things we feel free to share now that there’s an understanding between us. A permanence.
I am not the bad guy. Cal is not the stubborn know-it-all family protector.
We’re simply a man and a woman with their lives ahead of them, and so much to look forward to.
When I tell Cal my plans to start my own business, he’s legitimately excited, asking me questions, offering his assistance if needed, and brainstorming with me. He’s as excited about the opportunity as I am. I finally learn just how successful the brothers’ tech company has become. I’m in awe of what they’ve accomplished.
I think back on the morning I saw Cal in that billionaire businessman suit. Turns out it was truth in advertising, because they’re worth billions.
I also think back to just days ago, at the piano in my San Diego condo. I stewed in a profound loneliness. It felt eternal. I saw no way out. It dawns on me that I’m not that woman anymore. In a span of a few days, my entire world has opened up.
I am loved. I’m loving in return.
On the last morning of our retreat, Cal calls in to tell his brothers that everyone can return that afternoon to pack up camp. He tells me there’s something special that he wants me to see before we head back to the family. We tack up the horses and pack water and lunch, and head off before the sun is high.
He guides us up the side of a mountain along trails that switch back and forth, keeping the slope gentle for the horses. I can look back over my shoulder to an entire world below, which is intimidating, but he talks me through it. The setting becomes dense with freshly scented pines, tall and green. The air is cooler as we climb higher.
It’s late afternoon as we ride into a meadow, where we let the horses drink from a stream and munch on some grass. I look up to see Cal studying me, his brows pulled into a frown.
“Victoria, what happened between you and your father? With all we’ve talked about these last few days, you’ve barely mentioned him.”
“He’s not a part of my life anymore,” I answer. “For the obvious reasons, and for reasons a bit more …” I look across the meadow.
“Please tell me.”
I do. I tell Cal how my father has treated me. How he tricked Arlo. I share that my father used me as bait to cheat the MacLaines, that he never had any intention of treating me as an equal in business or a daughter deserving of love and respect in life.