Page 48 of Impossible Love

“Is there anything between this slow thing we’re doing and a gallop?”

“Yes. There’s a lope and a canter. But we’ll save those for later too.”

So we keep riding along like tortoises, which allows me to just enjoy the beauty around me. San Diego is a gorgeous location, but the beauty at Yosemite Ranch is a whole different animal. It’s majestic. Wild. Here we are in a soft meadow filled with flowers when around us are snow-capped mountains, red-rocked mesas, lakes, and rivers.

I scan the view in every direction, savoring it. Maybe if I commit it to memory, I’ll be able to recall the details when I’m gone.

“You okay, Victoria?”

“Oh, absolutely. Just in awe.”

“I never get tired of it. Never will.”

Cal must have carried out some other invisible command because Trixie pulls up alongside him. I look over to see him smile. It melts me. I immediately think I need to cover my reaction with conversation.

“You know,” I say. “At first I wondered why you left your Navy career for the ranch. Now I wonder, how did you ever leave in the first place?”

He seems to appreciate the question, and I wonder if it’s because he’s proud of his answer.

“A man needs adventure, challenge.” Cal pauses, as if he’s on the edge of sharing something with me, something that matters to him so much that he needs to be careful. “And since I grew up in this thousand-square-mile land of untamed adventure, I knew I would need something way bigger and totally different in order to find that challenge.”

He tips his head and shares a thoughtful smile. “Plus, there’s the patriot part. I was born into privilege, where we worked hard but were incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by such beauty and abundance. I wanted to give back. Do something to strengthen our nation. I think all of us felt the same.”

His answer surprises me. He really does sound more like John Wayne than a man of his time. I feel proud of him, though that’s ridiculous. I imagine Jamie couldn’t be prouder of what his boys have accomplished. Somehow, I suspect he’s most proud of Cal, his oldest, the one who set the bar so high for all of them.

“Was it difficult, Cal? Did you face a lot of danger as a Navy SEAL?”

“You don’t want to hear about that,” he says, his voice soft. “It might ruin this otherwise perfect day.”

I realize my question was silly. Of course he saw his fair share of horrible things while in the service. It’s not my place to pry. If things were different, I’d just go over and give him a big hug. But things aren’t different. They’re complicated. And we’re on horseback.

We haven’t even talked about that kiss. And it’s sitting between us now, like a mountain of unexplored questions. Even if I could and did hug him, it wouldn’t be enough. Once my arms got around him, I might not be able to let go.

We ride side-by-side for a few more moments until I feel Cal’s eyes on me. I turn to meet his gaze. His stare unnerves me. Even in the sunlight, his eyes aren’t a pale purple or a lavender. They’re dark and rich and dangerous, just like the rest of him. And right this moment, they’re focused on me with an intensity I’ve never experienced before.

Our walk speeds up. Trixie decides she’s tired of letting another horse set the pace. Cal continues to glance my way, his body swaying softly with the movement of his horse.

I hold his gaze.

It’s true that many men have been attracted to me over the years. More than a few have wanted me and weren’t at all shy about letting me know it. One man asked me to marry him, and I nearly said yes. I was damn lucky to learn the truth about him before it was too late.

But the situation with Cal is different. Never has my reaction to a man been this fierce, this blistering hot. One look from him and I blush. My mouth goes dry. One crook of his eyebrow and my panties get wet. Before I know it, there’s tingling between my legs.

And then comes the ache, the agony of unsatisfied need. Like what I’m feeling right now.

I shift in the saddle and squeeze my legs together to dull the sensation. And the world shoots out beneath me.

Trixie takes off like a bullet. She turns right and runs. I look down at the earth blurring beneath me, the reins slicing through the meadow grass and whipping in the wind. I can do nothing but hold on to the saddle horn and try to remember something—anything—that might save my life. I know if I fall while going this fast, in this terrain, it really will be the end of me.

“Cal!” I scream into the rush of air, but my cry gets sucked back into my mouth and is silenced. I instinctively press down, lower my center of gravity while I hold on to the saddle horn. I twist the fingers of one hand into the horse’s mane. With the other, I try in vain to reach out and grab one of the reins, but it’s a lost cause—the strips of leather are flying around wildly. If I stretch too far, I’ll definitely fall, and probably get trampled by the horse’s rear hooves.

“Whoa!” I yell. “WHOA, DAMMIT!” Pointless. The horse ignores me. That’s when I realize that my thighs are gripping Trixie’s sides like the jaws of life. She must think I want her to go even faster! What have I done? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I need to relax. I want to relax. I tell myself to stop squeezing so hard, but it’s counterintuitive. I can’t seem to do it.

I don’t know how much longer I can stay on. I’m going to fall.

Just then, Trixie jumps over a rock outcropping blurring under us, and for an instant, I’m weightless, flying. When she comes back down to earth, I slam back into the saddle, lopsided. My feet have slipped from the stirrups.

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