Page 79 of Impossible Love

“Hey, Victoria.” Cal places both his hands on my upper arms and gently turns me to face him. “That didn’t come out right. I’m not being snarky. What I’m asking is if you want the real answer, a serious answer to that question.”

“Oh.” I cringe. Yes, I’m a killer negotiator, but when it’s personal—when it means so much to me that the conversation makes me nervous—I’ve been known to miss social cues. “I do want the real answer.”

“The answer is no.”

I have to laugh. He sure made me work for such a no-frills response. “Well, I should probably get dressed. My skin’s getting a little pruney anyway.” I push myself up from the water.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever had this much sex, or sex that’s this good, or this special, or this unbelievably hot, or sex that seems to be part of a bigger story.”

I let myself slip back into the water. “Go on.”

“The sex we have, you and me…” He pauses, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s nothing I’ve ever experienced. It’s different. I’m talking all-the-way different. And I didn’t expect it.”

My lips part. I nod.

“Same for you?”

“Absolutely,” I say.

Cal looks down at me, trying to catch my gaze. But I turn to stare into the night.

“So, what’s happening here, Victoria? I mean, yeah, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I wanted you from the first second you entered my world. But it’s gone way beyond that smoking-hot instant attraction.”

I nod and keep my eyes on the barely visible mountains in the distance. Maybe I should have been happy with the one-word answer, because this is getting very complicated, very fast.

I still don’t know anything about what my future holds. I have no idea how I can extract myself from this impossible situation.

“Tell me, Victoria.”

I turn and look at him, unsure if I’m able to say it out loud. If I put it out there, then it will change everything.

“Mind if I say it, then? Because it needs to be said.”

I freeze. Oh, shit.

“We’re from two different worlds. Your life and purpose are in San Diego, and though I do travel there for business, my home is here, my purpose is here. This is my world, and it always will be. I’ll never leave Yosemite Ranch. I don’t know if you’d be happy here for long.”

Oh. I blink in surprise. Did I expect him to say he loves me? Did I want him to?

Or is it that I love him, but I just didn’t have the courage to say the words?

I have to snap out of it. Cal’s right. Of course he is. Maybe I really am prone to romantic fantasies and this connection between us is just a fling—a perfect one, yes, but nothing that can last for the long term. A relationship is probably impossible for us. It was probably impossible right from the start.

“I understand that, Cal.” I hear the pain in my own voice. “My father may not be as loving and sweet as Jamie—he might not even be a decent human being—but he’s still my father. I have made some choices he won’t like and I’m not sure how he’ll react, but for now, we’re still a team. As far as I know, he’s counting on me to continue his legacy, just as your family expects you to continue yours.”

Cal is still. He is listening intently.

“And I may not have a whole posse of SEALs as siblings, but I’ve got hundreds of Renaissance employees who are counting on me. It’s not just what I want. It’s about doing what is right. Out of all the people I’ve ever met, I know you understand what I’m saying.”

I rest my palm against his hard chest. “But that doesn’t change the present moment. It’s still rare and wonderful. We can still enjoy the hell out of it. And I’m right here, in your hot tub and in your house and in your bed, in this moment. Nothing’s ending… yet.”

Cal’s smile is lopsided, like he’s measuring his response. But instead of saying anything more, he simply raises his hand and places it protectively over mine, still resting on his chest. Only then do I realize that I’ve got my hand over his heart.

I feel it beating beneath my palm. It’s beating in time with my own. And I worry that the day I leave Yosemite Ranch will be the day I shut the door on everything that might have been.

“I have something for you, Victoria.”

I give my head a shake, returning to the land of reality. It takes me a moment to register what he’s saying. “Already?”

---