Page 16 of Ryder

We watch for a few minutes through the window before Mya says, “You’ve got to admit, he looks pretty hot with a kid.” I roll my eyes, even though deep down, I agree. Ryder carefully lifts Harlee onto the bike, keeping his hands on her waist to stop her slipping as she reaches forward to grip the handlebars. She’s so excited, and I can see she’s chatting his head off. It’s nice to see after she came home so sad this morning. She refused to kiss Finn goodbye, and when I asked her about the incident the night before, she refused to speak about it, opting to distract me with questions about the stars and other random stuff.

“Maybe I should just hear him out?” I say, thinking out loud. Mya smirks and I narrow my eyes. “It doesn’t mean anything. I just think he’s gonna keep hassling me until I do.”

She holds her hands up defensively. “I wasn’t thinking anything, but you’re right, he’s not going to give up, and it can’t hurt to listen. I’ll take Harlee back to mine. If you talk here, it can’t get heated.”

I nod in agreement and she gathers her things, along with Harlee’s. She swoops down to kiss my cheek, “Goodluck.” And then she steps out to where Ryder is lifting Harlee from his bike. They exchange words and she leaves with Harlee. Ryder steps back inside, he doesn’t look so confident now as he takes a seat opposite me. “Mya said you’re ready to talk?”

I nod. “I figured you’d keep turning up where I am until I agreed to listen to your bullshit.”

“I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am,” he begins and I sigh, arching a brow.

“I don’t want to hear how sorry you are, Ryder. Why the hell did you do it?”

He places his hands on the table, linking his fingers and staring down at them for a moment. “I’m finding life hard right now,” he admits, “Since coming out of the nick, everything feels chaotic and overwhelming.” I like that he’s finally giving me real talk, so I remain quiet while he continues. “My brother’s look up to me, they expect me to lead like I did all those years ago, but I’ve changed. I’m not the same as I was.”

“In what way?”

He shrugs, looking uncomfortable and I sense he doesn’t often talk openly about his feelings. “I shouldn’t have made you a target, Neve. It was stupid and fucked up. The first night I met you, when you came over and talked non-stop, you woke something inside of me.” He gives a small smile. “And I thought you were going to be a one-night stand. But after, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. That’s never happened to me before. When I found out about Finn, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone. I thought I just needed to fuck you out my system and if there was a way to get one over on Finn too, well, that was a bonus. It was stupid,” he explains. “I know that now. But honestly, the thought of seeing you again was the main reason. I told myself it was part of some plan, to appease the voice inside that was questioning why the fuck I needed to see you again. That’s not something I’ve even done.” He pauses, “It scares me.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because I’m not used to these feelings you evoke inside me, Neve. The thought of losing you makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t not see you again.”

I frown. I want to believe him, I do. But it’s only been a short time and even though I know how he feels, because I feel it too, I don’t trust him. “What did Finn do to you?” I ask, changing the subject.

“He set me up. I can’t let that go.”

“Set you up how?”

“I don’t wanna talk about Finn right now,” he says firmly, and I sense that’s final. “But he crossed me, taking my freedom. I can’t let that lie, Neve. He has to pay or it’ll not only eat me up inside, but I’ll lose the respect of the club, and I can’t be a president with no respect.”

I already know that respect is important to him so I nod. “Okay. But where does that leave me?”

“That depends on what you want from me,” he says.

My heart leaps a little. The fact he’s giving me a choice shows he’s respecting my feelings. And I want to tell him all the things I’m thinking, that the romantic in me wants the whole thing, marriage, kids, forever. I almost smile to myself. There’s clearly a bunny boiler inside of me but I don’t want to scare him away so I shrug, “What do you want?”

He laughs. “You’re gonna throw it back at me to test the waters?” he asks, and I nod again. He reaches over the table and takes my hands in his. That move alone makes my heart leap. “I want it all,” he says firmly, looking me in the eye. I swallow hard. “I want you. I want forever.”

“And Harlee?” I whisper, mesmerised by the seriousness in his tone.

“She’s part of you, right. It’s not even a question.”

“It’s a lot. Taking on someone else’s child, especially when you hate her father. It’s so complicated,” I say.

“Only if you let it be, Neve. After hearing that prick last night and the way he hit her, fuck, I wanted to rip his head off and I hadn’t even met Harlee. Now I have, that urge is even worse.”

Chapter Nine

Ryder

She’s hesitant, I can see it in her eyes. “You’ve got every reason not to trust me,” I tell her. “But give me a chance to prove I like you.”

“You’re offering me a fairy tale,” she says quietly. “You’re going to be my knight in shining armour to rescue me and my baby girl.” I nod. She slowly pulls her hands from my grasp and places them in her lap and my heart sinks. “But fairy tales aren’t real, Ryder. There is no knight and the only real part, is the big bad wolf waiting to ruin my life. He’s real. Finn will never allow me to be with you, of all people.”

“Finn doesn’t get a say,” I snap. The fear she’s pulling away scares the shit out of me and that’s how I know this is real. “I feel more for you in a couple of weeks, than I’ve ever felt for anyone. I know I sound crazy, and if my brothers could hear me now, they’d think I’ve lost my mind. But I’ve wasted years of my life and I won’t waste anymore waiting for the right moment. I know how I feel about you. Just take a chance, Neve.”

“And when Finn starts kicking off?”

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