Page 100 of Kneeling to Candy

Ziggy balks. “And you thought you should get married for shit, kicks, and giggles?”

“There was no thought involved,” I reply, annoyed with his pissy attitude while keeping my tone in check. My face falls into my hands with a groan. “Candy is going to be so pissed.”

“She’s going to be pissed?!” Ziggy gives an unamused snort. “What about your best friend? I’m learning you got married without me as your best man. We made a pact—to always be there for each other for big life events. Candy has no right to be angry when you guys were the ones hiding a whole-ass marriage. Why would you hide this from me? Why would you hide it at all? Did she talk you into keeping this a secret?”

He’s not understanding. This is too much to hold in.

I lift my head from my hands, looking at my brother as he continues to rant.

“Zig,” I say, loud enough to get his attention while not straining my vocal cords any more than I already have. “Don’t be upset with Candy. She doesn’t know either.”

Ziggy gives me a pointed look, his lips down-turned. “Do I look like I’m stupid, Butch?”

“Not stupid,” I placate, shaking my head. “Confused, though. You can’t be angry with Candy, because she has no clue we’re married.”

My best friend stares at me, his left eye twitching. “You mean to tell me your wife doesn’t know she’s your wife?”

“That’s the whole reason I was hiding the marriage license in my cut.”

Not following, Ziggy asks, “Please explain.”

Catching Ziggy up, I give him a rundown of the events from the night Candy and I tied the knot, and the morning after, when I questioned her about what she remembered from the night before.

After hearing my story, Ziggy sits beside me, leaning his back against the oak. “Damn, bro. I don’t know what to say.”

“Me neither,” I confess. “If I knew what to say, I would have told Candy already.”

“I don’t get it.” Ziggy turns his head to face me. “Why the secrecy? You’re head over heels for Candy. You claimed her as your old woman and moved her into your suite at headquarters. Wasn’t your endgame being married to her?”

“Of course marriage was the endgame. The problem is, shit happened out of order prior to me knowing if Candy wanted a long-term commitment with me. She was acting distant the night after we hooked up—turns out she thought I only wanted her as a sexual partner, and not as my life partner. We cleared the air of that, and then the baby discussion happened?—”

Ziggy raises up his palm to stop me. “Hold up. Baby discussion? Butch, you can’t have kids. You’re snipped.”

“Thanks for the refresher on my anatomy,” I snark before continuing. “Candy was afraid to commit because she assumed I wanted kids, like all the others in the crew. She doesn’t want any. Don’t worry, I explained to her I didn’t want kids either, and how I was fixed. We cleared all those hurdles.”

I take in a big lung full of air and let it out slowly. “And then she joined the team.”

“Ah.” Ziggy nods, understanding. “And that triggered the argument between you love birds, and the spontaneous move.”

“Yes.” What a refreshing relief it is to confide in someone about my ordeal. “I tried to tell her after you all left our suite. But Flay came and told us we had church.”

“And ever since, the focus has been on the mission.”

“Exactly. There hasn’t been a good time to tell her.”

My brother gives me a small sympathetic smile, shaking his head. “Butch, there’s no such thing as a ‘good time’ when you’re dropping a bomb.”

I hang my head, looking at the ground. “I know. But neither she nor I can afford to go into this assignment angry with each other, not when we’re days away from going undercover.”

“You think she’d be angry finding out you two are married?”

“No clue. I don’t want to risk it. Yeah, she’s agreed to be my domme, and I’ve claimed her as mine, but we haven’t even told each other we love each other yet.”

“Do you love her?”

I look at my friend like he’s stupid. “Do I need a brain to function? Of course I love her. I’ve been in love with her for as long as I’ve known her, and I’ve only fallen deeper for her each day since. Doesn’t mean she feels the same for me—yet.”

“Start there, Butchy boy. Express your feelings to her. It may make it easier when you confess your marriage.”

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