Page 64 of The Desire

There is silence as I watch her eyes open wide and slowly move around the room, taking in the photos as well.

“Oh… my… God.” Her free hand comes up and covers her mouth. Then it drops a little as she points at the photo of the woman naked and tied up in ropes, but with an expression of pure joy at the man I assume is her husband cupping her face in his hand while kissing the top of her head. I still see what I saw the first time I looked at it. The angle of the shot is artistic and captures exactly what the photographer was aiming for, which was probably her husband who staged the shot.

It’s the look of pure and raw love between two people.

“She doesn’t look like it hurts,” El whispers.

“No, she looks like she is in what I imagine is her perfect position. A safe place of his love.”

We both stand for a few moments, staring at the picture. Until Elouise’s words break the silence.

“Is that why you think it’s the best room in the house…? Do you like all this?” Even in the dim light, I can see the fear in her eyes.

Stepping closer to her, I release her hand and tilt her chin up toward me so I have her full attention. “No, beautiful, but all I wish for is that one day…” I stop to take a deep breath. “I will be your safe place to feel that loved.”

“I think I have the same wish,” she says in the softest and sweetest whisper that falls from her lips.

I just want to take her in my arms and kiss her until she understands how much I want that now, but I can’t.

It fucking sucks, but I have already stepped over the line too many times today, so being the gentleman she needs me to be, I step back and take her hand again.

“We need to get out of here so I can breathe,” I grumble as I start pulling her by the hand toward the stairs to the kitchen.

“That makes two of us,” she agrees with me.

Then her whisper echoes off the thick rock walls of the dungeon. “Ten months and counting. Who are we kidding!”

I give it ten days if she’s lucky.

Chapter Fourteen

ELOUISE

Settling my head down on the pillow, I’m glad the bed is at least comfy, because I doubt I’m getting much sleep tonight. It’s hard to rest when the brain is thinking so hard.

My mind has been reeling since this afternoon, from what we saw down in the dungeon and then the hot-and-cold vibes that Rem is giving me.

I can’t work him out today.

One minute he has me to the point I can’t breathe, with his smooth seductive words, and the next he is treating me like I’m a dear friend that has known him for years. Moments of touch, with his body so close to mine that I feel like we are sharing the same breath of air, and then he is so standoffish that I start to think I’ve done something wrong. It’s happened before, but it’s usually flipping from home life to work mode, and I can understand that one, because it’s from a world where I’m in it to the world that he must give every ounce of his attention, and there is no gap for me.

After we moved past me playing nursemaid, and he sent emails to the guys with all his thoughts on the castle so far, we headed out into the gardens and went for a walk around the grounds. I can see how this would be the perfect place to set up a classy countryside wedding venue and accommodation. The open fields are bordered by tall established trees that look like they have been here for a long time. It will make a picturesque background for photos. I know that Rem has plenty of hidden things about him that I don’t know yet, but still, I did find out that all the photos in his home are ones he took on his travels. Watching him today and talking about the different perspectives on the beauty we were seeing and how it would make the perfect shot, it was then I realized how much he enjoys it.

The more I get to know him, the more I see that he has a creative soft side to him. The photos he takes are artistic and I appreciate them, but his singing is something I truly love. Every time I hear it I turn to mush, and the shivers running through my body are uncontrollable.

Dinner in the village at the pub was just what we needed to get back to the way we were before we left home—friends who enjoy each other’s company, laughing over a meal and a pint of beer. It’s not my favorite drink, but there was something about being in this quaint little stone building with a thatched roof. The bar area was small and dark with dim lighting that set the mood, along with the open wood fire that was burning. Although the weather today wasn’t too bad, the late afternoon brought rain and wind which has a chill in it, and it made the gentle warmth from the fire delightful. We sat in the corner on two wooden chairs tucked nicely under a tabletop that is sitting on an old beer barrel. We couldn’t help but relax and let the tension of the day slip away.

It made tonight easier to say good night and retreat into my bedroom to shower and settle into bed. I’ve tried to read like I normally do to get to sleep, but it was purely a waste of time. My mind is so perplexed on where I’m at with Rem. And the longer I lie here in the dark with just the sound of the wind and rain lashing on the window, I think of all the things I would tell my best friend if I could just talk to her. When she battled her feelings for Nic, I was there for her. But this time, I’m the lucky one who gets to battle the world of forbidden lust and attraction all on my own.

I mean, would she be able to keep it a secret if I confided in her? Not that I would want to put her in that position with Nic, but let’s be honest, she was my friend before she was Nic’s fiancé. Why does he get to trump me?

I giggle to myself when I answer my own question. The monster orgasms she told me about. Yep, that will do it every time. From personal experience of what that really means now, I totally get it.

Although I’m tucked nicely under the heavy bedding, that cold feeling that passed through me earlier today in this room is happening to me again. Causing a whole-body shiver that makes me uncomfortable and a little freaked out. There is something not right with it. Why would I feel cold when I’m warm in bed? And it’s not an overall sensation. Instead, it starts in my chest and moves through my body to my toes. At the same time, the floor creaks, and I hear the soft noise of the chair in the corner of the room dragging on the carpet.

Oh my God, that beer must have my mind running away with itself tonight. I’m hearing and feeling things that aren’t there.

Just close your eyes and go to sleep, you idiot.

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