Page 7 of The Desire

The worse thing is I can’t tell Tori one single tiny detail of what I was thinking about.

Ughhh, why was I so stupid?

“Yeah, yeah. Now what was the question?” I ask, trying to divert my thoughts and her from looking at me like I’m hiding something, which I totally am. I’ve never kept anything from my best friend before, and it is so hard.

“Do you think I should have a shawl made in case it gets cool at night? Surely, it’s not always hot in Australia.” Tori is looking at herself in the mirror in the mockup dress they have made from cotton to get the fit right.

“That’s a good idea. Not that I would know about the temperature. Maybe ask Nic, isn’t he chief wedding planner?” Both of us look at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. For a man who happily told everyone he was never falling in love or getting married, here he is buried so deep in planning, trying to make it perfect, that he is unbearable some days—or so I hear from the boys when they complain to me about what he’s like when I’m not there.

“It would be fine if he would let me help with some of it, but instead, we just argue about it. Come to think of it, that is probably his plan all along. He loves to argue because it always ends up with me naked.” She rolls her eyes at me, both of us knowing full well what happens every time they argue. “But the dress is the only thing I have control over—oh, and your dress, which we totally need to get started on.”

It's something I’ve been trying to avoid so I can try to lose some weight. Nobody wants to look overweight in the photos. Especially next to the gorgeous bridal couple.

“I can’t wait to see the real dress.” I know she will be the most beautiful bride ever. Her striking red hair against the cream of the dress, I can’t think of anything more stunning.

Watching Tori slip behind the curtain to get changed, I wish I had even a small part of her confidence. She doesn’t care what other people think, but for me, I can’t seem to shake the worry of other people’s impressions. I’ve tried so hard to wipe the guy I was with briefly before college, my ex, Keith, out of my memories, but I can’t get his words out of my brain. He knew I didn’t belong in this world too, and it feels like those hurtful words are constantly hanging over me like a shadow, reminding me of how the world sees me. People don’t understand how words can be so cruel.

“Okay, let’s go eat now. Thank God I don’t have to suck my gut in any longer,” Tori announces as she exits from behind the velvet curtain. Back dressed in her blue jeans, white shirt, and a navy blazer, she is really rocking the part of the high-flying executive now that she works for Nic and The Darby Hotels. I’m so damn proud of her.

“How can you be hungry? It’s only ten am, surely breakfast wasn’t that long ago.” Standing and picking up my bag off the floor, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My brown hair really needs some urgent help. It’s so lackluster and drab.

“I didn’t get breakfast, we got out of bed late…”

“Don’t want to hear anymore,” I say, cutting her off and trying to straighten my hair out so it looks like I care. “And why do you always look so hot, and I’m like the old schoolmarm? I seriously need to get my shit together. I hope you have a hessian bag ready for my head in your wedding photos.”

“Elouise Doris Patterson, I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth like that. You are beautiful inside and out. No, that’s too sweet, you are one good-looking, sexy chick who obviously needs to get some action so all that crap you just said gets totally forgotten. Take it from me, the right man is good for the ego!”

“Bitch, really, using my whole name, you sound like my mother. Come on, we need to feed you so you stop acting so prim and proper. The second description of me was more up your alley.” Linking arms with Tori, I lead her toward the door where her driver is waiting.

“Now this part of our friendship I can really get used to. Morning, Wallace.” I love the old man who is the driver for both Nic and Tori.

“Good morning, Miss Elouise.” He holds the back door open for both of us.

“Doesn’t she look beautiful this morning?” Tori asks him as she slides in first, looking back at me.

“Of course, she does,” Wallace replies as I start climbing into the car, and I slap Tori on the leg for embarrassing me.

“You pay him to say nice things.” I roll my eyes at her.

Suddenly Wallace’s face appears in the door opening. “Ah yes, but they don’t pay me to tell lies. I never lie about a woman’s beauty.” Such a warming smile lights up his face and makes me feel all soft on the inside, before he closes the door.

“I love Wallace,” I say, looking at Tori who is also smiling at me.

“Well, he’s not wrong. But yeah, I love him too, he’s like an adopted grandfather.” Both of us giggle as he hops into the driver’s seat, not wanting to embarrass him.

“Where to, my ladies?” His warm older gentleman eyes are reflected at us in the rear-view mirror, and I can see the smile just from his eyes.

“Ole Teatime,” we both proclaim at the same time, perfectly in sync. It’s our favorite café that Tori discovered around the corner from her new office in The Darby Hotel headquarters.

“Of course, why did I bother asking?” His chuckle is dimmed by the sound of the car starting, and we slip into the busy London traffic.

“I’m going to have the biggest stack of pancakes with strawberries, I’m that hungry.” Tori looks like she is dreaming about the food already.

“Thank God the wedding is still a few months away, otherwise all you would be getting would be lettuce leaves with a side dish of celery.”

“Not happening. You know me, I love my food, and when you have a fiancée who used to be a top chef, there is no chance I’ll be starving myself.”

That’s what I love about Tori. She is so down to earth and doesn’t care about any of society’s expectations. On the outside I’m good at doing that, but on the inside, I’m always in a world of self-doubt. Tori knows me and what I’m like, and thankfully loves me anyway. It’s funny how in our friendship we balance each other out. I’m the calm to her feistiness, and she is the risk taker to my conservative. So, we work perfectly in some weird way.

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