Page 26 of Kayak Girl

Gray’s response was so genuine that it touched me deeply. I think it even healed a piece of my heart, if that was possible. But soon I squirmed under his scrutiny. So, I plastered on a smile and changed the subject. “That’s enough about me. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

Chapter 18

GRAY

My head was reeling from what Elle had told me. She seemed so carefree and full of life that I would never have guessed she grew up in such a tough space. I loved that she felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me, though. It stirred a sense of protectiveness in me that left me unsure of what to do next. She’d just asked me to tell her something about myself, I wanted to be as open with her as she had been with me.

“I’m not exactly the church hero I’d love everyone to believe,” I found myself saying, the words slipping out before I could weigh their impact.

“Oh, really?” Elle’s voice was a gentle nudge, pushing me toward confessions I hadn’t planned on making.

There was a heaviness in my chest, the burden of regret that I usually kept locked away. But being here with Elle, I felt an unexpected urge to unveil a piece of my shadowed past.

“It’s not something I’m eager to broadcast,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “But remember when I told you I had a failed long-distance relationship? Well, there’s more to that story.”

Elle’s silence was an invitation to continue, her eyes encouraging me.

“The details aren’t pretty,” I warned, my heart pounding against my ribcage. “Kayley and I, we... we had something, or at least I thought we did. But it turned out to be built on lies. She was married, Elle. I dated her for nine months and the whole time she was married. I had no idea until her lies came out, but I should’ve known.”

The admission felt like releasing a breath, yet the guilt and shame clung to me like a second skin.

Elle’s response was a soft exhalation, a sound filled with sympathy and sorrow. “Gray, that’s... that’s heart-wrenching. I can’t even imagine how you must’ve felt.”

I shook my head, trying to dislodge the uncomfortable memories. “It’s a chapter I’ve closed, but the scars remain. It’s why I’m so cautious, why I’ve got rules to shield myself from repeating the same mistakes. I can’t tolerate lies and Kayley is the reason I think dating tourists is a bad idea.”

“That makes total sense. I’m really sorry you went through that.”

I smiled at her, grateful for her sweet understanding. Our conversation so consumed our focus that we’d drifted quite far from the shore and not toward Baynard Cove. We’d better get moving.

“How about a race to the cove?” I suggested, trying to lighten the mood. Without waiting for her agreement, I propelled myself forward, my oar cutting through the water with purpose.

Elle seemed taken aback at first, perhaps by the sudden shift from our intense conversation. But then, I saw a spark ignite in her eyes—evidence of her competitive spirit. She began to match my pace, her strokes through the water growing stronger and more determined.

She easily beat me, but at least I wasn’t far behind her. I’d paddled in this cove too many times to count over the years, but like our previous paddle, it was refreshing to experience it with her. We drifted in front of a section of marsh where several loggerhead sea turtles were fooling around. She absorbed the scenery like it was recharging her. We laughed at the turtles, took pictures, and snacked on the fruit bars I’d packed. It was the perfect morning.

To my dismay, after our kayak outing, I didn’t see Elle again for the rest of the day. Later, I’d found out that Jenny had whisked her away to get a pedicure. Around early evening, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Elle’s name flashed on the screen.

Elle: Hey, hope you had a good day. Jenny and I ate an early dinner after the salon. I’m tired so I am going to call it a day. See you at church tomorrow. E.

As I read her text, my hopes deflated like a punctured balloon. Apparently, I hadn’t pictured my evening without Elle, and now, I felt at a loss for what to do. It was a Saturday night, and there was no preparation needed for the summer camp; everyone usually went out or visited family. Spending the evening with Elle would have been my ideal, but her message was clear. I worried she might be having second thoughts about what she’d shared with me earlier about her family. Her past sounded brutal. I tried to reassure her in my reply, all the while realizing that friendship would never be enough. I was already all in.

Gray: Look at you sending a normal text. It’s almost like it was handy you had my number. No problem. I had a great time with you today. Rest up.

Chapter 19

ELLE

Back in my room, I let out a groan as I read Gray’s text. He was so sweet, but all I could think about was what he’d said to me earlier today. I can’t tolerate lies.

When he’d said it, I thought, fair enough. Only later, once I’d played everything back in my mind, did it beat my conscience awake. I’d essentially been lying to Gray this whole time. We’d had conversations about our car trouble several times, but I’d never owned up. Even though I’d sorted out the payment with his car, I should have told him I was the culprit.

But so much time had passed it would be so strange for me to bring it up now. Who was I kidding? Strange wasn’t holding me back; it was the conflict. If history was a good teacher, then I’d learned better than anyone that conflict should be avoided at all costs.

God, this is too hard. Why is everything so hard? I need a break from being responsible. You should know that.

The burden of this tangled situation had hung over my head like a black cloud all afternoon. Poor Jenny. We’d planned this girly afternoon a few days ago, and I was so looking forward to it. Jenny treated us to pedicures and cappuccinos. I’d tried to pretend to enjoy my time with her, but I was too preoccupied with my internal battle.

After pacing my room for about an hour, claustrophobia began setting in. I checked my watch. Brenda usually had reception duty until late. Perhaps I could sneak out and chat to her. I needed her comfort and wisdom.

---