Page 105 of Twisted Heathens

“Would you rather lose it all?” Kade snaps. “Open your eyes. Nothing about our lives is normal or reasonable. I’m simply proposing an alternative route forward.”

Just as I’m going to hit him with another snide comment, the door buzzes and opens. We both stand and Janet walks in, kitten heels clicking against the floor. She hasn’t changed in the past year since I last saw her, crying in the court while I was escorted away in cuffs.

Her perfectly coiffed blonde hair is dabbled with grey, framing kind eyes and perfectly applied makeup. She still wears the silver locket around her neck that Kade bought for her fiftieth, pictures of all three of us enclosed in it.

“Oh Hudson… my boy,” she cries out.

I adjust my shirt as Janet approaches, silvery tears already tracking down her cheeks. She rushes at me and pulls me into a fierce hug, her tiny body holding me tight despite the fact that I tower over her by at least a foot.

“Hi Janet,” I manage to reply.

“Let me get a look at you,” she gripes, fussing over me. Her hands run over my shoulders and hair, fingers pinching my cheeks. “You look too skinny. Aren’t they feeding you?”

“I’m fine…” I offer, prising her hands away.

“Don’t give me that. I haven’t seen you for over a year, young man!”

I cringe at the anger in her voice, sinking into my seat. She pulls Kade in for a quick hug, not lingering too long as the security will only come and break them up. Once we’re all seated her attention is back on me, studying and analysing just like her son does.

Kade breaks the heavy silence. “How was the drive?”

“Fine. I had to drop your sister back in Warwick, she says hello. Your father is away on business, else he would have come.” Janet offers me a small smile. “He sends his love.”

I nod tightly. Kade’s father is a decent enough man, but not a patch on Janet. She was the one that truly brought me into their family. Putting up with all my shit, paying for tattoos to win me over, basically doing whatever necessary to make me feel welcome.

“Your studies? They’re going well?” she asks me.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I shrug nonchalantly, trying not to feel her palpable disappointment. What more does she expect? This place isn’t some summer camp. I’m not here by choice.

“How are the other boys? Phoenix and Eli?”

Kade links his hand with hers, casting me an impatient look as I struggle to find any words to offer. “Everyone’s good, Mum. We’re all keeping busy.”

“Good, good. Listen, we don’t have much time.” Her eyes flick to me, full of sadness and regret. “I know your brother has informed you of the… little problem we have.”

“Yeah, he told me.” I lower my voice, forcing the words out despite my choking guilt. “I think I should just come clean. Tell them the truth.”

“No!” Janet exclaims, hand flickering to her throat. “You will not put yourself at risk like that. Why do you think we’re in this predicament?” Her eyes dart around, checking no one is listening. “I couldn’t see you go down for something that wasn’t your fault.”

I take her other hand when she offers it, the three of us connected. More tears leak down her aged face as I bite my lip, fighting to keep my own emotions in check. It was my fault, but she still doesn’t see it that way.

“What now?” Kade says gruffly.

“We’re throwing legal challenges left, right and centre, trying to discredit Stephanie. Claim she’s unhinged, doesn’t know what she’s saying.” Janet nods to herself in reassurance. “It buys us some time. For now, keep both of your noses clean and heads down. We’ll sort something.”

Her eyes connect with Kade’s and he nods, but I’m too lost in my mind to question the look shared between them. The mention of Ma’s name has me spiralling into the past, down the black pit of memories that I’ve tried to purge from my soul with little success.

“She isn’t right in the head, Hudson. Accusing her own son… it’s sickening. She won’t get away with this, I will not allow it,” Janet declares, squeezing my hand tight.

“It’s the truth though, isn’t it?” I reply tonelessly. “I did it. I killed—”

“Stop,” she interrupts swiftly. “We’re not going through this again. I refuse to sit here and let you torture yourself.” Her hand releases mine and grabs my chin, forcing my eyes up to meet hers. “You’re my boy, not that witch’s. Keep your head together and I will fix this mess.”

I stare back at her, pain wrapping around my heart. Despite everything, all the shit I’ve put her through… Janet still has my back. I don’t fucking deserve it. All I can think to do is hand myself in, get it over and done with. No one else should suffer for my mistakes.

“I’ll keep my mouth shut,” I agree reluctantly, but quickly shut down her relief. “For now. The minute you or anyone else comes under threat, that’s it. I’m telling the truth. I don’t care what they do to me, where they send me.”

I nod to myself decisively.

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