Page 106 of Twisted Heathens

“I’ll protect my family whatever it takes.”

We all cling to each other for a second, savouring the contact until the timer buzzes. Janet presses a quick kiss to both of our heads, eyes shining with tears as she plasters that strong smile back in place. “I’ll be back with more soon. Kade, look after your brother and keep in touch.”

“Yeah, always. Bye Mum,” he replies.

She turns to me, eyes softening. “You’re a good man, Hudson. Don’t forget that. We all love you so much.”

As she leaves, we both watch in silence, taking a second to gather ourselves. Her words stick in my mind, however distasteful they seem to me. Good man. I’m nowhere near the person she thinks I am. Not even on a good day. But I’ll damn well try to be just for the chance of making her proud.

“Come on.” Kade clears his throat. “Let’s find the others.”

He takes charge, checking us out and leading the way as I walk numbly. Each step feels like it’s sealing my fate, the agreement to sit tight weighing me down. I should have refused, demanded they both give up on me.

“Stop it,” Kade orders.

“Huh?”

“Stop fretting. You know how she gets. No way you were going to win that argument.”

I scan my ID and let us into the dorms, holding the door for Kade. “Yeah, I know. Just wish she’d admit defeat once in a while.”

“She cares about you.” He shrugs, as if the explanation is simple. “We all do, even when you act like an arrogant, self-obsessed prick.”

“Probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said,” I laugh darkly, throwing his own words back at him. “Fucking love you too, brother.”

We walk back to his room, letting ourselves in. The sound of a movie playing comes from the corner, darkness lit by the TV screen. It takes me a moment to find the shape of sleeping bodies crammed into Phoenix’s bed.

“Looks like we missed the fun,” Kade comments.

He flicks on a lamp, chasing away the shadows. My eyes land on Brooklyn, snoring lightly and curled around Eli like a spider monkey.

“Nice of you to join us,” Phoenix mutters from beneath the covers.

“What did you do to them?” Kade laughs, sitting down on the bed opposite to pull his shoes off. “They’re bloody sparked out.”

“Nothing, just comfy.” He smirks at me.

Kade looks at the two snoring cuddle buddies. “So I see.”

Phoenix reaches over, pulling the covers tighter around Brooklyn and gently brushing Eli’s hair away from his face. “It’s good to see her getting some decent rest.”

I linger in the doorway, hands tightening and loosening into fists. Just seeing him touch her has piping hot anger racing through my veins, along with raw possession and the need to pummel his smug face. She’s my fucking girl. I should be the one looking after her.

“You gonna stand there all night?” Kade asks.

“What exactly do you suggest?” I remark. “You all look pretty fucking cosy to me.”

Phoenix rolls his eyes, keeping his voice low so as not to wake them. “Give it up, Hud. You’ve been a pain in the ass all week. You think she doesn’t see it?” He glances at the sleeping beauty inches away. “If you’re not careful, you’ll drive her away completely.”

Kade nods solemnly, standing to grab his sweats and change. “There’s beer hidden in the loose roof tile. Just chill and watch the movie before you have a brain aneurysm.”

He disappears inside the bathroom, leaving me to retrieve the goods and settle on the floor, back resting against the bed. I resolutely ignore the clothes strewn over the floor, refusing to contemplate what went on while we were in visitation.

She agreed to stick around, doesn’t mean she’s yours.

Fuck Kade if that’s what he thinks. I know the truth.

I’m close enough to hear my blackbird breathing, and I latch onto the sound just like Mariam taught me, using it to centre myself. Brooklyn’s always been my anchor, even in the years since we’ve been apart. It always came back to her, the memory of her soft skin and sharp eyes. The horrifying night that eventually tore us apart.

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