Page 125 of Twisted Heathens

I bided my time.

Calculated my moves.

Waited for his guard to fall.

This is my final move. Check mate. No failures this time. Slitting my wrists is too risky, we’ve proven the odds are unfavourable. These relentless men will just keep patching me back together with their hopes and desperation. Forever seeing something in me that simply isn’t there.

Vic saw it too. In his own twisted, possessive way. He refused to let me die and paid the price for his stupidity. I killed him; intimately, brutally, happily. The shadows were my guide and they mark my steps now.

I leave Phoenix and this warped reality behind, softly clicking the door shut. My feet ghost across the thick carpet, bare and bloody. There’s one more thing I need, my back-up plan. It’ll have to do, I’m out of options. I’ll hang myself and choke to death if that’s what it takes to escape, no matter how messy it will be.

I get back to my room and lift the loose ceiling tile, hand searching in the cobwebs until it meets paper. The package of accusations and hatred has taunted me for the last two months, ever since Mariam handed it over. I didn’t break once in all that time, saving them all for this exact moment.

It’s only fair that I read the letters now at the end of this chaotic journey, a fitting memorial for this inevitable day. I’ve lived a whole year longer than he got to. Time to right that wrong. I stuff the bundle in my leather jacket and slip it on, too out of it to contemplate putting proper clothes or shoes on. My mind is numb and broken beyond repair.

My eyes stray to the phantom girl in the mirror. She looks haunted. Gaunt, tired, and inarguably done. The longer I look, I see him staring back at me. The golden boy hiding his evil, who hurt me in the worst possible way and died choking on his own blood. I watch myself smile. It’s twisted and sick. Shadows curl around my limbs and begin to whisper, growing stronger.

He deserved it. You do too.

Come on, Brooklyn. Time’s up.

Taking one final glance around my room, I swallow the rising emotion that threatens to distract me. It’s messy in here, scattered with books and clothes. I note the reminders of the past two months, snippets of normality and belonging that prolonged my inevitable end.

Phoenix’s beanie.

Eli’s hoodie.

Kade’s backpack.

Hudson’s shirt.

Life is fucking temporary, fleeting in its brutality. It ends and begins, trapped on an endless loop that most are powerless to escape. I’m just taking off early, unable to stomach any more of this rollercoaster. The guys will soon forget and move on. Whatever feelings that I have for them… it’s irrelevant now. I’ve got to finish the job that I started one year ago, and pay back the outstanding debt on my life. I’ll end it and free all four pieces of my heart from this toxic thing between us.

There’s a knock on my door, before it swings open. I prepare to fight whoever is trying to save me this time. I’ll hurt them if I have to. They can’t stop me again.

“Hey Brooklyn.”

Dread seizes me and I force myself to look, finding Rio in my doorway. He grins at me, eyes slowly travelling over my body, noting the bandages on my arms and skittish look on my face. Smiling slow and sinister, he easily excavates the truth from my soul.

“Still want that key?”

I try to speak, my mouth impossibly dry. Nothing comes out.

“Some people have forgotten their place around here and need to be taught a lesson. We don’t tolerate disrespect here at Blackwood. They just need reminding.” Rio gestures behind to the corridor, where Kade and Phoenix’s room is located. “You want to help me out with this? Free of charge. Call it a parting gift.”

I nod, but not a sound passes my lips. Morbid hope balloons in my chest.

“Follow me,” he orders.

Leaving my room behind, we climb the stairs together to the top floor, passing several guards along the way that simply nod at Rio, deferring to his authority. Almost like he’s the one in charge, not them, which makes zero sense. I wait outside his bedroom door, trembling all over while he gets the key. The sound of a floorboard slotting back into place reverberates through my mind. I’m close, I can almost taste the freedom.

Lazlo’s question flashes through my mind.

Don’t you want to see your parents again?

There’s a strange feeling in my chest, desperately battling to break free.

“Ready?” Rio asks, offering the slim key card to me.

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