Page 164 of The Darkest Chase

“So what’s this about?” she asks.

I nod at Talia.

Right on cue, Talia flips open her messenger bag and retrieves the camera, now wrapped up in an evidence bag, and deposits it on the table. Ariana looks at it and freezes, dropping the teakettle she’d been setting down on the counter with a clatter.

“You… you found his camera?” she asks, sounding so lost, taking a step closer to the table.

“We did.” I conveniently leave out how or why it’s in an evidence bag. No point in hurting this poor girl with what-ifs without good reason. “However, it was damaged in the fall, and the data was corrupted.” The lie works for now. “We’re working on piecing together everything that happened before the incident, and being able to access those files would help fill in some gaps for the medical examiner’s report. It looks like he had a cloud backup with his email address. You wouldn’t happen to know the password, would you?”

“…I don’t know. Is it his iCloud account?” she asks.

“I’m not sure. It seems like it might be Google, judging by the email address.”

Ariana just stares at the camera like it might magically bring her dead boyfriend back.

Talia gives me a worried look, then says, “It’s cool if you can’t remember. I know it’s hard for you right now.”

See? I knew bringing her with me was the right idea.

Part of me wants to be the man Talia brings out, who was able to be so kind to Ariana the last time I was here.

Only, right now I smell blood.

I’m all sharp edges.

If I’m not careful, I’ll be a spinning knife, cutting everyone around me.

Ariana looks at Talia for a few seconds, heavy with pain. She’s a small woman, but her sadness takes up so much space.

“Talia, right?” Ariana asks. “Have… have you ever been in love?”

Talia makes a flustered sound.

There’s a weird feeling as she looks down at the table. Her gaze darts over the smooth surface like she’s looking for an answer. The only place she won’t look is at me.

“Yes,” she finally answers.

Fuck.

Does she mean me?

How could she, when I’ve been such a prick?

Ariana’s gaze flicks to me before snapping back to Talia with a worn smile.

“Then you know,” she says. “You know that when you’re in love, you feel like your world revolves around them. Even things that don’t have anything to do with them are just like that, in your head. All the little things. Noticing something your boyfriend would like in a store or thinking of something random and funny and wanting to share a laugh. Naming your pet after their childhood stuffed animal. Or… or…” She swallows, her throat working so tightly it’s easy to tell she’s trying hard not to cry. “…or using their nicknames or birthdays as passwords. That kind of thing.” Her smile widens, but it’s trembling and heavy and hurt. “My email password is MySighingBriBri-something. How dumb is that?”

“No,” Talia says, looking at Ariana with so much empathy in her eyes. “That’s not stupid at all. It’s the kind of thing you do when they’re everything.”

Why is it suddenly harder to breathe in this room?

Like there’s just not enough air here anymore.

Not for the man I am and the specter of the man Talia wishes I could be, instead of this hollow shell who can’t even give her a straight answer about whether or not we’re truly together.

I hold still, though, letting them speak.

Letting Ariana say what she needs to.

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