Page 183 of The Darkest Chase

I can’t upset him.

But I’m struggling, my throat raw, and the tears are coming. I bury my face in his chest and sob wretchedly.

“No, no,” I say. “Serena didn’t call.”

I can’t tell him what’s actually wrong.

I can’t tell him my heart’s turned inside out, and I don’t know how I can ever trust anyone again. Not even him.

Not when the person I love most doesn’t even see me.

Has anyone ever seen me beyond the basket case of illnesses?

Did Micah?

The sobs won’t stop no matter how hard I try.

They just won’t, and even if I can’t tell Grandpa what’s wrong when he won’t understand his ‘wife’ talking about another man breaking her heart, there’s still comfort in his embrace and in the way he holds me.

I need to believe that somewhere, under the dense clouds in his mind, he knows he’s comforting the granddaughter he loves.

So I cling to him, and while I cry, he murmurs soft words.

The sound of his voice and his warmth are enough.

The knowledge that, even if he’s not quite here, there’s still someone in this world who loves me without conditions, without regrets.

Slowly, my tears fade.

Sniffling, I rub at one eye.

Grandpa lets out a gentle, crooning sound.

“There you are,” he rumbles. “You just needed to let it out. Do you remember what you always told me when things were hard, dearest?”

I smile faintly, still hiding my face against his chest. Even his scent is comforting. He always smells like fresh-cut timber and the rougher, piney smell of bark.

“Why don’t you remind me?”

“That Francis Bacon quote you love so much.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” He gently pats my hair. “Whatever it is, dearest… if there’s such darkness today, it only means your light will shine like the sun.”

I wish I could believe that.

But it’s enough to remind me that I can get past this.

I barely knew my grandmother, but by all accounts, she was a resilient woman.

I want to be her worthy granddaughter today.

So I pull back from him, finding a smile as I stand, brushing my hair back and leaning in to kiss his wrinkled cheek.

“You’re right,” I say. “And it’s time to get started on the day, so I’d better go.”

His smile glows fondly. “You never could sit still, Lily darling. Where are you off to now?”

“Errands,” I say, smoothing down my shirt before picking up my bag from where I dropped it by my worktable yesterday. “Need to run by the bank, and I think we’re out of paper towels.”

He pats my cheek, then turns away.

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