Page 20 of On Thin Ice

His rouged hands reach for me, turning my body towards him and pulling me to his chest. “Hey, you ok?”

I nod and rake my hair back into a ponytail, before pulling my thong up my legs and turning around so he can clip my bra for me. I’m sure he’s never clipped a bra up before, he’s only well practiced at unclipping as many as possible. I can feel my head taking over again, the horny side of my brain having done her part and now she’s off to bed, letting my logic take over.

The problem is, Sean knows me too well already and his brown eyes are swampy with worry, it’s hurting but I don’t know how to fix it for him, or for me.

Chapter 16

Callie

Sean snakes his arm around my waist and turns me back around to face him, his eyes are creased with concern and it’s making me want to throw up. I don’t want to hurt him, but I'm scared now we’ve done the one thing I was putting off. It’s fear on my part, fear of rejection now that I’ve given him what he wanted from me since the very beginning. I’m trying to trust him, really I am, but whenever a sliver of light pokes through, showing me the real him, I'm reminded of his past and the way he’s always treated women. I’m terrified of being tossed aside again, like with Joel, he decided he was done with me and that was that, until recently of course. It fucking stung, worse than anything I’d ever experienced and I can’t go through it again, I just can’t.

“Callie, are you sure you’re ok? You don’t regret having sex with me do you?” The pain and worry that’s creasing his handsome face is stabbing a hole through my chest.

I shake my head, a loose curl falling onto my forehead from my ponytail. “No, I don’t regret it. I just feel like now we’re a ticking time bomb and I'm going to be holding my breath, waiting for you to get bored with me.” He cups my face in his huge hands, running his thumbs along my jaw. “Baby…” His eyes hold a thousand words that he doesn’t know how to say, but somehow I find comfort in them. “Look, we’ve had sex, which is what I wanted from the start. But I'm still here and I still want you.” He coos, leaving one kiss on each of my cheeks before releasing me. “Let’s watch a movie or something, we can cuddle and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning like I promised.”

I nod my head and whisper, “Ok.” Which is all I can force out right now. I don’t know how my life has done such a 180 in the last few weeks. When I first met Sean properly in the penalty box I thought he was a man whore who wanted nothing more than to sneak his way into my pants. I think that’s what he thought about himself too, I don’t think he even realised he was capable of wanting anything more from a girl than just sex. At first his infatuation with me was just a love of the game, the thrill of the chase and he was so taken aback that any girl could reject him that it made him want me even more. But the consistency this man put in to try and win me over is pretty admirable if I may say so. I know I can be grumpy and foul mouthed at times, but it’s honestly just my tried and tested defence mechanism to ensure nobody can hurt me. Sean has somehow found a gap in my ginormous brick walls and scrambled his way in without me even having chance to notice an intruder.

Sean is rifling through his top drawer, pulling out a clean pair of black, extra tight boxers which show off his exquisite package. I grab the t-shirt from the ground that was whipped off my body, leaving me exposed before Sean and I let ourselves go like wild animals. I smile as his familiar smell fills my nose from the worn out t-shirt in my hand. I start to look for the opening to put it over my head, but before I have chance to cover myself his bedroom door swings open.

“Hey man, do you have that glove I let you bor—” Kyle skids to a stop, his eyes flickering between Sean and I, who are both still half naked. It wouldn’t take a genius to work out what’s going on here and I instantly point my finger at him, my eyes a glare with warning.

“Not. A. Word.” I hiss, watching as his pupils widen and then crease with a proud smile.

Sean is lying back on his bed, his arms folded behind his head looking extremely content with himself right now. The man has no shame. Kyle shakes his head with a grin. “He finally won you over then?” I look at Sean, who’s face is plastered with that fucking arrogant smile as usual. He’s just watching the interaction unfold, not bothering to defend me to his best friend. Look, I don’t particularly care what people think of me but I don’t need the entire hockey team thinking I'm that easy to get into bed.

I yank Sean’s t-shirt over my head and pull my curls out of the neckline. “Not exactly, he’s on trial, we’re taking things slow for now.” I mutter, grabbing my stuff from my bag.

“Looks slow to me…” Kyle laughs and winks at Sean who’s now watching me gather my things.

Sean clears his throat and rises onto his elbows, his movie star stomach contracting and giving me butterflies. “My dick isn’t on trial though, she’s already in love with him, just have to make her fall in love with me now.” He smiles and I consider throwing my deodorant at his head. Instead I decide to be mature and just glare at him, metaphorically stabbing him with my pupils.

I head into Sean’s bathroom and leave the door ajar, letting the FOMO control me and not wanting to miss any part of their private conversation. Kyle’s slightly muffled voice breaks the silence first. “Have you been drinking tonight? Does Callie need a ride home?”

I hear the mattress squeak and Sean’s large feet pad across his bedroom towards the TV stand. “Nah, she’s not going home.” He says, so nonchalantly that I don’t know what to do with myself.

I’m supposed to be getting my makeup off my face, brushing my teeth etc, but all I can do is press my ear to the door as discreetly as possible and listen to what the hell he’s going to say next.

“Where’s she going then? I can take her if you can’t drive.” Kyle says, confusion lacing his tone.

Sean sits back on the bed, the mattress squeaking again. “She’s not going anywhere, she’s staying here tonight.”

I hear the TV click on, the crackling sound of animated voices creating a blanket over the conversation I'm dying to listen to.

Kyle stutters, “What? She’s staying here? Like, sleeping over?” He’s as shocked as I was when Sean invited me to stay, we all get it, he’s not a sleepover sort of guy.

I wasn’t hinting for an invite when I told him that I don’t like staying at the dorm by myself, I was worried about Joel turning up when I don’t have Molly’s backup to get rid of him. I’ve been keeping something from Sean because I haven’t felt like there’s been a right time to tell him and now we’ve had sex everything is ten times more complicated than it was before.

“Yeah, like sleeping over.” Sean says with confidence and I hear Kyle gasp under this breath. The TV is now only a quiet hum in the background as Sean waits for me to return so we can watch a movie together. Kyle chuckles low in his throat. “Ok, well shit maybe you really do like her. You never do sleepovers.”

“Yeah, I really fucking like her man, like I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never done sleepovers before, but I'll do them for her.” Sean whispers and my heart grows a pair of wings and leaves my body. Oh god, I feel like this is going to end in tears.

We watched approximately twenty-minutes of the movie before my fingers were skating around Sean’s pretty dick again. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I just couldn’t help myself, and of course Mr sex maniac was more than happy to participate in round two. After we had sex again — and yes it was just as good as the first time — we fell asleep, the TV still blaring as Sean’s arms tangled themselves around my body, pulling me back to his chest. This man held me all night long and not in a sexual way either, he didn’t sink his hand between my thighs or try to grope me. His large hand lay splayed out across my lower stomach for almost the whole night as I drifted in and out of sleep. Occasionally he skimmed down my waist and gave my bare thigh a comforting squeeze, which only made my brain even foggier with confusion. I don’t know what the hell I'm supposed to do now, he’s been so amazing, so caring and patient with me. But the nagging anxiety, the overbearing worry about him getting bored with me and craving his old lifestyle still has me in chains. I give up trying to sleep at around 7am, Sean's face is buried in my neck and his breath is laced with vanilla as I twist my head to plant a quick kiss on his nose. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, sliding out of his grasp and padding towards my bag that’s laying on his bedroom floor. That’s the moment when I make the mistake of checking my phone, I just wanted to see if Molly and Anais got home safe last night, but instead I’m greeted with ten new messages from my ex-boyfriend, Joel. He’s been texting me for a few days now, begging me to talk to him, saying he wants me back and he misses me. Telling me he loves me, which is the one that hurts the most and he knows it, that’s why he’s using it against me. I haven’t told anyone about Joel wanting me back, not Molly, not Anais or Lois and definitely not Sean. I don’t know how he’d react but I don’t want to find out. I don’t know what I want right now, I'm really starting to like Sean and I can feel my trust for him stacking higher and higher, but Joel and I have history and the feelings I had for him are still buried in there somewhere. I got so caught up in Sean last night, allowing my attraction to him to blind me, making me forget about my current predicament of two men pulling me in two different directions. I think I need space, time to think about what the hell I'm supposed to do with myself.

I grab my things from my bag and head into Sean’s bathroom, checking over my shoulder to make sure he’s still sound asleep on the bed.

Chapter 17

Sean

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