Page 43 of On Thin Ice

Sean

There was a space in my chest that I didn’t even know was there before I met Callie, it wasn’t making itself known because she wasn’t in my life yet. My heart knew that she was the only one who could fill that hole, nobody else could fill the void I never knew I had until I met her. That’s all I can think about in this exact moment as I watch her pull a baby pink cocktail dress up her legs and shape it to her delicious curves. She twists one way, then the other, facing the mirror and mentally scrutinising everything about herself whilst a barely there frown pulls down the corner of her mouth. I fucking hate it.

I get to my feet and hold her from behind. “Baby, stop analysing yourself.” “I can’t help it,” she huffs, turning in my arms, still trying to get a good look at her body so she can pick on every tiny detail in her mind. “I feel like my ass looks flat in this dress.”

I almost choke on my own breath. “I’m sorry, what?” I twist her away from the mirror, her hands flat on my chest. “This ass?” I grab it with both hands and her face twists into a smile. I dip my face to her’s so our lips brush off each other. “You, are so fucking beautiful it hurts.” I whisper, my breath dancing across her tongue.

She gulps hard, darting her tongue out to wet her pillowy lips before she smashes them onto mine, inhaling deeply as I haul her up off the ground, squashing her against my suited chest. When I eventually release her mouth from my hungry grasp I place her heeled feet back to the ground and she audibly gasps when she takes in my outfit. I’m wearing a suit, not a particularly expensive one but it’s pretty nice, formal enough for this evening of painful fine dining we’re about to endure with my parents. Callie gulps hard for the second time today. “Wow,” she pats my blazer clad chest, smoothing the material like I'm getting ready for my first day of school. “Jesus Christ Sean…”

I can feel the arrogance seeping onto my tongue, begging to be released but I know Callie’s tone will change to one of a feisty nature if I say anything egotistical right now and I'm fucking loving the look on her face. Her eyes are round and bright as they coast over my body, trailing up from my toes back to my face.

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and shakes her head, her dark curls dancing with her. “Ok, I think this is the exact imagine I’d like to orgasm to for the rest of my life.”

The laugh that rips through me is filled with love and adoration, watching this girl who owns every piece of my soul drool over me all because I'm dressed in a suit is making this day one of the best I've ever experienced. The irony is that she doesn’t see how beautiful she is, she’s fucking breathtaking right now as she stands there, pink satin clinging to her shape, her face painted like a supermodel and her curls hanging down her back, softer than usual and accentuating her honey coloured freckles. The truth is though that she’s always fucking breathtaking, when she’s just waking up in the morning, when she takes off her makeup and her skin is pinker than usual, when she’s just out of the shower, hair wrapped in a towel and skin dripping as the steam follows her like a cloud. She’s the most beautiful though when she’s truly happy, the unfiltered, unburdened kind of happiness and not to blow my own trumpet here but I've only ever seen her in that state of beauty when she’s with me.

I’d like to think I make her happy, I really hope I make her happy.

The entire car ride Callie is bobbing her leg up and down on repeat, staring out of the window and lacing our fingers together tightly as I rest my hand against her creamy thigh. I know she’s nervous, on the verge of an anxiety induced meltdown might be the more accurate way to describe her right now. When my car squeals to a stop in the car park I turn off the engine and pull Callie’s thumb from between her teeth. She’s bitten the skin down to red, raw flesh and she winces when I suck it into my mouth, trying to cool the sting with my tongue.

“Don’t be nervous baby, it will be ok.” I murmur, one hand still holding her’s and the other brushing lightly against her cheek.

“What if they don’t like me Sean?” Her eyes flicker with worry as they bounce between mine. “I need them to like me.”

I grip her face in my hands, trying to calm her heartbeat, I can hear it strumming against her collar bone. “Shhh, stop panicking Cal. I’m telling you it will be fine…do you trust me?” She nods immediately and I feel a kick in my chest, my heart fighting to escape and get to her. “They’ll love you just as much as I do, I promise.” I leave a barely there kiss on her shoulder and watch her chest stutter as she peers up at me for a beat. That’s the moment I realise what I just said.

I can’t believe I just said that, what a dickhead. I wish Callie was too nervous to notice the words that just flew off my tongue before my brain had a chance to catch up and tell me to stop. But I'm pretty sure by the way her eyes are resting on her lap right now that she heard every word. I told myself so many times that I wasn’t going to tell Callie I loved her until I was sure she was ready to say it back, and I'm still unsure if she’s fully there yet. I can wait for her to say it first, I just need to watch my tongue. I lose my filter around her — not that I have much of one at the best of times — and I just end up spilling my feelings like vomit onto her. But telling this girl I'm in love with her needs to be at the right time and I need her to be ready too.

Callie quickly composes herself and reaches for her door handle, shoving the passenger door open which I then proceed to reach over her and slam closed again. I get out my side, running around to her and opening the door, holding her hand in mine as she steps out in that stunning outfit that’s making me want to bust a load into my pants every time I catch a glimpse of her. She hasn’t said a word about my accidental love confession, but as we walk hand in hand towards the restaurant entrance she gives my hand a hard squeeze and lets her head fall against my bicep. I feel like she’s telling me what I already knew, that she’s not quite there yet, but she will be, soon.

Chapter 35

Callie

I think my heart fell out of my ass when Sean said he loves me. I know it was a passing comment and I'm not even sure Sean realised that he’d said it, but the weight of those words falling off his tongue so casually made my heart shudder with pleasure. I really want to tell him that I love him too, that I feel everything he’s feeling and I want him to know how much he means to me. But the words still feel stuck to the roof of my mouth, slowing melting away as each day goes by and I know I’ll be absolutely certain when I'm ready, which isn’t yet.

Dinner with Sean's parents is going well…I think. I’m still nervous as shit but they’ve both tried their best to put me at ease, keeping the conversation relaxed and making jokes to lighten the heavy weight of nerves that is hurting my shoulders.

My leg continues bobbing for a while before Sean’s heavy palm lands on it, rubbing his thumb across my goose pimpled skin and whispering, “Just relax, it’s ok.”

God I wish I could tell him how much I love him.

After we’ve eaten, Judith leans back in her chair, cherry red wine leaving a residue on her lips when she tips the liquid to her mouth. “Well, I can’t say Sean getting a girlfriend this early into his time at Redwood wasn’t a plot twist.” She titters, tipping her glass up again. “One I certainly didn’t see coming.”

Sean’s warm breath tickles my ear when he leans down, fingers digging into my bare thigh. “You’re the best plot twist I ever had.”

My heart takes off again and I'm sure at this point it’s left my body entirely and made it’s home in his. I try not to smile, really I do but my face cracks without my permission and I reward Sean with a beam so bright it most likely blinds him.

“Yeah, it was a plot twist for me too, considering I had a different boyfriend at the start of this year.” I murmur, sinking my claws into Sean’s hand where it rests on my thigh under the cover of the table.

Sean scoffs loudly. “Yeah, he’s probably one of the biggest pricks I've ever met…and I've met a lot of pricks in my life.”

“Sean, I don’t care for your choice of language.” Judith says, throwing him a disciplinary look before she leans towards me across the table, using her wine glass to shield her mouth from the men. “I bet he was a prick though…he was wasn’t he?”

I burst into laughter and feel my muscles relinquish their tensing for the first time all evening. Judith joins me, tittering and downing the last mouthful of ruby wine before shifting into a more comfortable position in her seat.

The restaurant is quickly becoming quieter as the dinner rush dissipates and the only people left are us and a few other tables of people having late night drinks to wind down. The quiet murmur of voices is like white noise, forcing my mind to stop it's whirring and overthinking.

“So,” Judith starts again and Sean’s dad rolls his eyes, a ‘does she ever shut up?’ Look in his twinkling eye when he flickers a smile at me. “Tell me all about your family Callie, I know your dad is Sean’s coach.” I nod and take a quick sip of my wine. “Yeah, he is. We’ve never been particularly close but I do try my best to make him proud.” Sean gives my thigh a reassuring squeeze and his cold lips find my bare shoulder. “I’m much closer to my mum, I'm an only child so the two of us spent massive amounts of time alone together when I was growing up, you know, with my dad travelling a lot for work.”

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