Page 54 of On Thin Ice

“Has she mentioned anything to you, asked you about us?”

“No,” she shrugs, “she’s been pretty good at avoiding any mention of you during training.”

“Does that bother you?” I say, running my thumb along her jaw and swallowing down the urge to suck her lips between mine again. She shakes her head, curls bouncing. “No, I understand why she’d feel uncomfortable, that’s why I wanted to avoid telling her.”

“She’ll get over it baby,” I tuck a curl behind her ear, “just give her a bit of time to come to terms with it.”

“Yeah, yeah I know, just kind of sucks that she’s not talking to me much at the moment.”

Note to self, tell Lois to stop being a bitch to my girl.

I feel like I’ve barely had chance to blink and it’s already Christmas break, the light frost covers the ground and I have to walk like my legs are made of wood so I don’t fall on my ass as I make my way to the car. My suitcase is trailing behind me, the door handles frozen as I yank them open, listening to the ice crack. I land in the driver’s seat with a shaky huff, I don’t know why I'm so nervous to spend Christmas break with Callie and her family. I mean, I'm very familiar with her dad — him being my coach and all — but I’ve never met her mum and I'm desperate to make a good impression on her. I have a taste of what Callie must have felt when she met my parents, makes sense now why she was trembling with nerves during our dinner with them. Also, the inevitable fact that Coach is going to find out that I’ve been seeing his daughter in secret for months, I'm totally uncertain of how he’s going to take it and I know Callie isn’t bothered about what he thinks anymore but I am. I’m by far his favourite guy on the team, that’s why he made me Captain and I don’t want that to change. However, in the same breath there’s nothing I wouldn’t give up to be with Callie, that includes my future hockey career.

I’m leaving at 7am this morning for what reason I don’t know, other than the fact that I'm nervous as hell and I need to get to Callie as quickly as possible. As soon as I'm with her I know my nerves will vanish into thin air, seeing her smile makes my heart melt into a puddle and all other emotions evaporate. Callie went to her parents’ house yesterday but I had to stay on campus for an award ceremony that the hockey team host at the end of each year. It was my first one and it’s normally something I'd revel in, going up on stage and being the centre of attention but my mind could focus on nothing but the fluttering in my chest when I thought about spending the entire week at Callie’s house.

The drive goes by way too quickly, although I'm almost certain I’ve been speeding the entire way, the country roads allowing me to press the accelerator to the ground and get to Callie as quick as I can. When I pull up on the side of the road — triple checking the address she sent me yesterday — I stare up at the house, the moss around the windows, the little picket fence and the thin layer of snow that blankets her front garden. This house looks like something out of a fairy tale, the chimney puffing out smoke and the thatched roof remaining me of the stories my mum read to me when I was a little boy. I know Callie’s family don’t have a lot of money but this place is breathtaking, like a story book house and I'm all of a sudden itching to get inside and sit by the open fire. I walk tentatively towards the front door, knowing already that I’ll have to duck to get inside, the door is no more than 6 foot high and there’s no way I won’t have to crane my neck to fit under the snowy canopy. My hand shakes a little as I tap lightly on the door, praying my girl is standing right behind it, waiting for me to arrive. I hear a muffled call and the padding of footsteps before the door swings open and the one face I’ve been dying to see is in front of me, beaming. Callie pants and smiles widely at me like I'm the best thing she’s ever seen and I'm sure my face is mirroring her’s right now. She reaches for my hand, pulling me inside and pinning my back against the front door. “Hi, I missed you.” She whispers, pressing her warm lips against my icy ones.

“I missed you too baby,” my eyes dart around the room. “but maybe we should ease your parents into the fact we’re together, rather than put on a live porno show the second I step foot through the door.” I chuckle, my heart beating hard and warming every crevice of my body now Callie is wrapped around me.

“Nobody is home yet, they went to the shop to get some more food for tomorrow.”

Oh, ok then.

I pick her up immediately, listing to her squeal with childlike joy and carrying her up the stairs over my shoulder, using my nose to locate her bedroom like she used to do to me when we were first together. I push open the squeaky door that screams ‘I'm Callie’s bedroom’ purely from the gymnastics posters that litter the walls and I drop her down onto the bed. I lay my body on top of her’s and breathe her in, her flowery scent mixed with the general christmassy aroma of cinnamon and spices fill the air around us and I feel strangely at home for a place I’ve never been to before.

“So,” Callie giggles, wriggling under my tickling grip on her waist. “Wanna fuck before they get back?”

“God yes,” I groan, dipping my hand into her leggings and pushing my fingers into her warmth.

Maybe this week will be better than I thought.

Chapter 43

Callie

Christmas Eve has always been my favourite day of the year, I prefer it to the big day itself purely because I actually get to relax on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is always pretty chaotic, cooking with my mum, getting the house ready for guests and throwing out the bundles of wrapping paper that end up strewn across the living room floor. Mum and I have always baked on Christmas Eve, she’d let me lick the bowl clean and I’d sit cross legged in front of the oven, keeping my eyes pinned on whatever was baking away in there. But this year is different of course, Sean got here yesterday but my parents didn’t arrive home until late and by that point Sean and I were already curled around each other under my duvet, eyelids drooping with sleep. This morning though is quite different, surprisingly my dad hasn’t even asked why Sean is here or why he slept in my bed last night. And right now the two of them are lounging back on our sofa, hockey game blaring out of the TV as they chat about things I don’t understand, using terms like lip lettuce which immediately makes me want to close my ears for fear of whatever the hell that means. I’d rather not know.

I’m in the kitchen with Mum, mixing a bowl of dried fruit into a blob of much too sniff dough, watching in awe as Sean and my dad tip beers to their lips in unison. The damp air around me is making my hair stick to the back of my neck, the strong smell of baked bread and cinnamon laced candles fill the house and I'm 100 percent here for it. The two men on the couch have me in a trance as they comfortably laugh together, Sean’s taut arm hanging over the back of the sofa like he’s lived here all his life. I’m totally mesmerised by the two of them until my mum comes behind me and gives my waist a loving squeeze.

“So that’s him then? The guy you were bawling over not too long ago?” My mum wiggles her eyebrows and I stifle a laugh, all the while amazed that she can decipher every thought that passes through my brain. I break my fixed gaze from where it rests on Sean and turn towards my mum. “How do you always do that?”

She pats the lump of dough on the counter, watching it wobble. “Mother’s intuition baby, now spill, I want to know everything.”

I heave a sigh, one filled with equal parts happiness and exhaustion from fighting against the ever growing love I have for this man. “Yeah he’s just…” I turn my head back to look at Sean, his dimples deepening as he laughs at something my dad says. “He’s everything Mum.”

Her hand lands on my shoulder as I tear my eyes away from Sean again. “I can tell honey, I’ve never seen you so in love before.”

“Woah, I don’t know if I'm quite there yet Mum,” I hold my hands up, watching her sly smile as she kneads the dough roughly, squashing it against the counter.

Obviously I am there, I'm so fucking there and have been for a while now. A quiet laugh escapes her and she shakes her head. “Oh honey, you’re so there.” She lifts the huge blob of dough from the counter and drops it into a mixing bowl with a strained huff. “And he is too, trust me.” “How can you tell?” I say, taking another peek over my shoulder and immediately catching Sean’s gaze on me. His eyes are soft, warm and comforting, watching me like I'm the only person in the room. Mum shrugs and shuffles past me, bowl of heavy dough in hand. “It’s so obvious Callie, just the way he watches you it’s…”

“How does he watch me?” My eyes are still trapped by Sean’s, like he can hear every word of our conversation his mouth turns up into a smile that makes my chest thump.

“Like he’s waiting to take a bullet for you.” Mum whispers, planting a kiss on my cheek and leaving the kitchen, oven whirring along with my mind as I process what she just said. I’m not stupid, I know how Sean feels about me, he makes it abundantly clear in his words and his actions. But that part of me that always doubts whether I'm good enough for people is still attempting to fight it’s way through the strong wall of self worth I’ve built since being with Sean. The way his eyes are still locked on mine now only confirms what my mum just said, he gestures with his head for me to join him on the couch, shit eating grin still blazing a fire in my chest as I land in the spot next to him. It takes my dad less than a second to pounce, his demeanour changing when he spots Sean’s arm lift over my head and come to rest across my shoulders, hauling me into his side.

His face darkens slightly, stress lines on his forehead deepening. “So, shall we have this conversation now or after dinner?”

My words get stuck in my throat, do I just admit it straight away and deal with his anger or try to deny everything and tell him Sean and I are just friends? Luckily for me I don’t have to decide, Sean sits up straight, pulling me up with him.

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