Page 91 of Breakaway

“You have something they want. I’ve watched your highlights this season. You’re a fucking superstar. You could be the next Makar.”

I let out a disbelieving laugh. It’s flattering that he’s seen the tape, but it’s a big leap to go from “Hockey East top defenseman” to “Norris Memorial Trophy winner.” Even if that’s the thing I fantasize about, it’s not the kind of dream I’d admit aloud. “Sure.”

“Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You have the fucking talent; you should be in the league already. Not playing for some college team and writing papers.”

“I’m fine where I am,” I say, a touch sharp. “And McKee isn’t some college team. We’re good enough to win the Frozen Four this year.”

He settles back against the booth, hands held up in surrender. “I’m serious, kid. But we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Sorry.” I take off my cap and scrub my hand through my hair as I breathe in. “But I’m fine where I am. Really.”

“Well, go on, tell me more.” He gives the server a flirty grin as she sets down our meals, and she blushes as she walks away. I resist the urge to roll my eyes; apparently my uncle’s charm is alive and well. “I’m here now. For good this time.”

“Seriously?”

“Serious as a heart attack.” He picks up his shake and knocks his glass against mine in cheers. “I’ve stayed away too long. It’s time that changed.”

Chapter 50

Penny

I settle against the couch cushions, breathing in the familiar smell of ylang-ylang and orange blossom. Dr. Faber sits across from me in her leather armchair, her notebook open to a fresh page. She crosses one leg over the other and entwines her fingers, each adorned with at least one ring. I’ve sat in this exact place more times than I can count, but whenever I arrive, I remember the very first appointment.

I wore a pair of ripped jeans, which exasperated Dad; he’d somehow gotten it into his head that Dr. Faber was ancient and would be offended by her teenage patient showing too much skin. He walked me all the way to her office, tutting about it, and then Dr. Faber opened the door, and she wasn’t ancient at all, but instead in her early thirties and wearing a sundress and clogs, tattoos winding around both of her arms, pink hair cut into an asymmetrical bob. I loved her immediately. I don’t see her as often as I used to, but her office, with its blue walls and abstract art, its collection of throw pillows and creaky old radiator, feels comforting. I don’t have any aunts of my own, but that’s what Dr. Faber has always felt like to me; a relative I can be honest with without fear of being judged. I can’t wait to tell her that the guy I’d been hooking up with is now my boyfriend.

“Did your dad drive you?” she asks.

I tuck my hair behind my ear, unable to hold back my smile. “My boyfriend did, actually.”

She smiles too. “Boyfriend? Penny, that’s wonderful. Is he the young man you mentioned at our last session?” She flips through her notes. “Just before Christmas, you mentioned you’d been experimenting with a guy named Cooper.”

“Yes. That’s him.”

She scribbles a note. “How did this happen?”

“We kind of... developed feelings, I guess, while we were working through the list I had. You know the one.”

She nods, still smiling. When I explained The List to her, back when we first started doing sessions, I expected concern, but she was all for me trying it one day, provided I was crossing off the items with someone I could truly see myself trusting. That’s why I like Dr. Faber; she’s always understood where I’m coming from and has never made me feel like my desires are wrong. “Does your dad know you’re dating?”

“Yeah. And he likes him. He already knew Cooper, you know? Because of the team.”

“Right, of course.” She settles back, recrossing her legs. “You sound good, Penny. Do you feel good?”

“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “Really good. I... I really like him. He’s so different from Preston. I have fun with him, and I really think I’m starting to trust him.”

“That’s great.” She makes another note, giving me a gentle smile. “Let’s get into that in a moment, because I know what time of year it is, and I’m sure you haven’t forgotten either.”

The warmth running through me cools down. “No.”

“But I want to hear more about Cooper and your list. Did you cross off every item?”

“Almost.” I huff out a laugh. “I’m sure you know what’s left.”

“Vaginal sex?” Her voice is frank. That’s another thing I’ve always appreciated about her; she tells it like it is while still staying kind. It reminds me of Mom. She never met Dr. Faber, of course, but I think she would approve.

“I want to do it. I want to have that experience with him.”

“Has he expressed any feelings on the topic?”

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