Page 107 of Underground Prince

“I’m to take you home, Miss Rhodes.”

His stare remained on mine, and I realized he was taking pains not to look down because my straps were still hanging around my elbows. Hastily, I righted myself.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say, searching in vain for my clutch. I found it, tossed on the counter with the empty freezer bag. Food forgotten, I stumbled toward Brodie, but he caught me with a gentle hand on my elbow.

“It’s all right,” he said, soothing as a whisper.

I nodded, afraid to meet his nonjudgmental stare because I wasn’t sure what I would do. Cry or sob or curse him out. The shudders cresting a symphony over my skin were making it unclear exactly which way my emotions wanted to go, and so I trailed behind him, my mind blank on ideas until something whirled from within. Blue sadness, maybe, because it wasn’t fair to keep caring when I’d already experienced what it was like to lose. Or acceptance, for it was possible each future stepping stone in my life would always be covered in the rot of death.

But…hang on. It wasn’t either of those.

I was pissed.

We were in the hallway, Brodie pushing the down button for the elevator, when I barreled back into Theo’s apartment.

“Miss Rh—”

I slammed the door in poor nice Brodie’s face.

Theo did not get to do this. The past about a girl, his girl, disgusted, churned horror, yet I kept my ground because of what came after. She doesn’t come close to how I feel about you. He uttered those words, peeled off the remaining shreds of uncertainty and admitted that yes, there was something here. To have that confession and then pluck it away, to never do anything about it, would fester nothing but regret and what-ifs.

I had enough what-ifs to last me centuries.

Smacking a palm against his bedroom door I shouted, “Open up, Theo! Right now or I’ll…” I scanned my surroundings, searching for an appropriate threat. The hallway to his bedroom was unfortunately bare of any valuables. “I’ll shatter…something!”

Damn it, there was nothing.

That is, until my palm, going for another smack against hardwood, hit an unclothed chest instead.

Veering to face him, I said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Yep. There was a definite red splotch forming on his left pectoral.

He sighed. “If you want to come off as menacing, you’re better off planning ahead and finding what’s important to me, first.”

I rubbed my hands together, my stinging palm ringing. “You didn’t leave me much opportunity.”

Then, noting his relaxed stance and his downright air of grudging acceptance that I was back, I found my spark and speared it into the center of his chest with my pointer finger. “You don’t get to control this situation. I’m sorry your father is so cruel and for what you went through—I am because it’s incredible what he does to his family and gets away with—but you said it best. Platitudes suck. And now I’ve met you and you’re in my life. Even if you leave and cut me off and prevent us from ever coming across one another again, you’d still be here.” I slapped a hand on my chest. “This does not involve only you. I’m here. I’m involved. You matter, Theo.” I resisted pushing at him, making him move, firing my frustration into him like I so wanted to. “You matter.”

He gripped my forearms, an impact of movement unregistered until his skin seared into mine. He pulled until I was flush against him. His breath sawed, up and down, in his throat.

“I’m telling myself not to want you at every turn,” I whispered.

“This was your chance,” he said.

“And pretend you’re not standing behind me when I run?”

“Scarlet,” he said, laying his forehead on mine. “Just because the worst has happened to you doesn’t mean hell isn’t still waiting.”

I dug my fingers into the small of his back, as if I could make him part of me. “You’re not my demon, so don’t try to be.”

I let go, turning back the way I stormed in, leaving him behind—but only for a time. It was exhausting, baring souls and becoming vulnerable, admitting feelings and absorbing threats. If anything were to happen between us tonight, it would be tainted. Our pasts were shrouds around us, our hoods brought down for this one night before we hid behind them again. To have him now would be to possess his regrets. He was wavering, he was wanting, but he wasn’t mine. Not yet.

I glanced over my shoulder, finding him unmoved, a hand on the doorframe as he watched me depart.

Little did I understand how hard it was to leave him.

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