Page 112 of Of Realms and Chaos

Everyone looked at me in horror, so baffled by my audible outburst that they were unsure of what to do. My head felt heavy on my shoulders, my entire body swaying. When had I stood up? My sweaty palms met the wooden tabletop, catching me before I fell. I was breathing too hard, too fast. Was this what dying felt like?

“I’m sorry. I should not have said that. You are not to blame for Asher being gone, and she will be back. We…we will find her.” Even as I said the words, I had the feeling that was not the case.

In the corner, Farai adjusted in his chair, catching everyone’s attention. Guilt burned hot as coals in my chest, the culmination of so many wrongs—wishing for Farai’s death simply being the newest—boiling inside of me like a volcano ready to blow.

Every pair of eyes turned to Farai, and we all listened as he made everything infinitely more complicated and insurmountably more hopeful.

“We need Nicola. She knows things, more than just any Tomorrow. Since I’ve known her, she has had the uncanny ability to see the future without touch. Sometimes, I swear she is even talking about the past.” When he finished speaking, his white eyes looked clearer than before, like the fog had lifted and he could now see the path ahead.

“An Oracle,” Damon whispered, a collective gasp filling the room.

***

“King Trint, it is good to see you.” Henry had his full charm on as he reached out and hugged Trint, clapping him on the back. Trint smirked, likely aware that Henry was being overly kind and not bothered by it.

“Henry, you as well. And, Prince Bellamy, how are you?” It was not the words themselves, nor the handshake that grated on my nerves, but the way he sounded like he were comforting a widow.

“I am great, actually. Though I imagine I will be better upon Asher’s return. The very female who has your entire kingdom in an uproar. I imagine you are also eager for her return, are you not?”

The king’s face fell, the regret and guilt evident in his slumped posture.

Lian’s elbow met my gut, the jab hard enough to make me grunt in pain.

Damn them all.

I pasted on a horribly fake smile, clearing my throat before taking Trint’s outstretched hand. He did not feign pleasantries again, instead nodding with a forlorn look.

“They call her the Goddess of Minds. Over the last month and a half she has grown a devout following, and they claim her as the goddess for the people. Faithfuls everywhere believe that she will bring a new age—that she is our salvation. They are unaware that she is—” His words cut off, eyes darting from mine to Henry’s before continuing. “They do not know she is gone.”

“Obviously, Trint. Come on, these creatures are older than your great great grandmother, I think they are well aware of how politics work.” The man who spoke had bright blonde hair, his blue eyes nearly as light as my own. He was just as broad as Trint but shorter, his slightly weathered pale skin further contrasting him from the King of Gandry. Both men wore crowns, but Trint’s casual teal robes and black sandals were the exact opposite of the other man’s crisp military uniform in tan and olive green. The accent was familiar, if only from my studies and time running amuck across the world. This was the king of Heratt.

“Apologies, I did not properly introduce my good friend. This is King Mordicai of Heratt. As neighboring kingdoms, Gandry and Heratt have been close allies for centuries. King Mordicai has come with the desire to discuss a possible alliance between Eoforhild and his kingdom.”

If my expression was anything like my stunned mind, then I probably looked ridiculous. Judging by Mordicai’s smirk, I did. He reached out his hand, which I promptly took, his grip firmer than Trint’s.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Prince Bellamy. Or do you prefer General Ayad?” The question sounded almost sarcastic, but I still answered with as much warmth as I could muster.

“Just Bellamy is fine. It is a pleasure to meet you as well, King Mordicai.” He released my hand when I used his title, that smirk becoming a full smile.

“Well, that is only because I was smart enough not to insinuate that your lover is dead. I am sure by the time these negotiations are over you will probably hate me even more than Trint over here.” Henry chuckled at my side, introducing himself briefly before explaining where the soldiers would reside and discussing training methods.

I remained still, unable to move from my spot. Every ounce of my strength went towards keeping myself from portaling to the sea, to the only place where I did not feel the pain of her absence. Noe had gone to Betovere in search of both Luca and Asher. So far, she had found no sign of either, though she had noted that Asher’s rooms had been left untouched and there was still talk within The Capital of her continued absence.

“We will win this war, Bellamy.” Trint’s voice broke me from my trance, our eyes locking. There was too much sincerity in them, as if he had convinced himself by sheer will that we would walk away from this fight. I nodded, hoping that he was right. “By the way, Shah sent word. It seems the fae have threatened her. Not surprising, seeing as I was told to stand down or watch my kingdom burn.”

***

“We need to attack while they are scrambling. Do you know how easy it is for them to simply replace those they lost? We have already waited too long!” Damon was far more pushy today than he normally was, especially with both Noe and Luca being gone still. The former, at least, was sending us missives. But the continued silence from Luca had everyone ready to break. Ready to fight back.

My hesitation came only from the silence of the fae after Isle Shifter. I feared that, if they did have Asher and Luca, they would harm them to punish us. Was it entirely selfish and not in the best interest of my realm? Yes, absolutely.

As per usual, I was uninterested in pretending I was anything but selfish.

Adbeel was running his fingers along his beard, eyeing the newly redone model of Alemthian. The Capital did not just house the fae royals. On the island was a large set of four buildings arranged to make a sort of square. The fae called this Academy. There resided instructors and their families, as well as every youngling who had come into their power. Though the fae did not reproduce as easily as mortals or even demons, they had been steadily growing in their numbers. There was no telling how many young fae were there. On top of that, we had to worry about the market, the ports, the guards, and all those who resided in the castle.

Too many innocents would suffer because of us. How could we do that again?

How could I?