Page 119 of Of Realms and Chaos

“Think about my offer,” I added, looking around Bellamy to see Lawrence and Paula. They were visibly frazzled, the horror seeping from them in steady waves as they held one another. Genevieve was to her mother’s side, staring at me. I nodded to her, hoping that it was reassuring enough to convince her to talk her parents into agreeing. She returned the gesture, and then I broke our stare, handing Bellamy the paper. “Infuse it with your essence, please.”

My Bellamy would have laughed and shook his head, but this was not necessarily my Bellamy anymore. He grabbed the paper, a muscle in his jaw ticking, and I watched as shadows crept from his palm to the white sheet, coating it before they disappeared.

When he handed it back, I steadied myself and looked back at the mortals. “Whenever you make your decision, feel free to write it on this note. The magic will do you no harm. I hope you make the right choice.”

Bellamy’s arm was around me the instant Lawrence grasped the paper, my free hand securing Wrath. We portaled chaotically, the scent of smoke and cinnamon engulfing me like a favorite blanket. I wished I could stay in that embrace forever, but reality had another idea.

“Go, now,” Bellamy growled down to Wrath.

The dalistori laughed, practically skipping away. “I hope she kills you, idiot.”

Neither of us spoke until Wrath’s form faded into the distance, the silence heavy with unspoken words.

“Do you care to explain to me what the fuck you think you were doing back there?” Bellamy finally asked, his shouts echoing off the snowy mountainside. My eye caught on one mountain that had been reduced to rubble, the sight eerily beautiful.

I had never been to Pike, but if this was it, then it was stunning. I looked out, appreciating the view of the sun sitting mid-sky, kissing a far-away peak. Though its warmth did not reach us, Bellamy and I were angry enough to heat ourselves, not even the beautiful sight enough to calm me. I whipped around, finding he was right in front of me—his chest rising and falling in a rapid, furious beat.

“I think I was trying to save the fucking world, Bellamy! In all the time you have known me, I have never wavered in my desire to be a solution rather than a problem—to prevent a war that would kill thousands. Why do you act surprised when I do everything I can to make that a reality?”

As always, we ended up right against one another, my head tilted up to yell at him with everything I had left. I did not want to fight, not when I knew how much he had suffered. Not when he needed to know the truth of my disappearance. But Bellamy, he seemed almost eager to fight, as if all of his pent-up rage was boiling over. The ground beneath my feet shook, the snow seeming to pile around me.

“You do not get to simply decide that you will marry someone else because it is not just you anymore, Ash! Months ago, in that cave, you told me you loved me, that you chose me. Well, marrying someone else does not exactly scream devotion!” His hands flew up into the air, coming down to tousle his eternally disheveled black waves. My mind raced, trying to accept where I went wrong—to acknowledge and prioritize his feelings—without compromising the only stable plan I had.

“There is only so much I can do—so many I can please! I do not know what you expect.” My voice was wavering, the fatigue of so much in a single day weighing me down. But I did not falter; my body did not slump.

“I expect you to please yourself! Stop caring about everyone else and just be selfish! For one gods damn minute, let yourself be happy!” His hands lifted to my face, shaking my head gently, as if he could force the words to find purchase in my mind.

“Fine!” Then I reached up, locked my arms around his neck, and crashed my lips into his. He did not hesitate, wrapping those large hands around my thighs and lifting me. Our tongues clashed, the lust and love and anger combining to form a storm.

I felt him portal us but did not let his mouth leave mine, both of my hands grazing his growing stubble as he walked us through a slightly dark room. He stopped at the edge of a small bed, practically throwing me onto it. I gasped, body aching from the day, but Bellamy did not so much as flinch. His hands came down to my dress, ripping the fabric to shreds as if it had committed some great offense.

Then he was splitting my undergarments, too, only being careful with the sheath and dagger, which he placed on a nearby side table. Our eyes remained locked while he reached back and tugged his shirt over his head. He slowly stripped himself bare, the tension only growing with each passing second. When he freed himself, his hardened member bouncing slightly, I groaned. The Moon magic inside of him writhed in the light of day that peeked through the window, painting his skin in ink.

As he walked to me, I saw the way the fury warred with fear on his face, felt my magic caress it in the air. He dove down before I could think of something to say, his lips on my neck and his hands on my hips.

Bellamy’s touches were love made tangible, his anger not affecting the way his tongue and teeth spelled my name against my skin. Nor were his fingers anything but thoroughly doting. They danced across my thighs, tickling their way up my stomach and around my breasts. I moaned at the contact, so familiar and right and perfect.

“Tell me you will not marry him.” The words were whispered against my throat, like a desperate prayer. When I did not answer right away, he bit down, the pain and pleasure drawing another moan from my lips. He soothed the mark with a kiss, taking a single finger and dragging it between my breasts, trailing slowly down my stomach. “You will marry only me, Asher. I will be your husband, and we will rule over whatever fucking kingdom you want. You will trust that I can win this war for you, without the help of that wretched family, and I will be at your side for as long as I live.”

That finger continued its course, lower and lower until it slid inside of me—setting a merciless pace—followed closely by a second. When his thumb rubbed across that bundle of nerves just above, I screamed his name, my back arching up. Heat seared me, and I realized Bellamy was warming himself further—or maybe he was losing control. That thought only made the moment sweeter, the ecstasy stronger. I whimpered, tugging his hair upwards. His lips left my skin, tongue slipping into my mouth as if he could consume the sounds of my pleasure. When his other hand wrapped around my throat, ringed fingers squeezing lightly, my head spun.

“Say it, Princess. Tell me you will choose us like you promised.” A third finger joined the other two, his pace barely leaving me time to breathe, let alone speak. So I nodded, eliciting a raspy groan from him. With no warning, he pulled out his fingers and shoved himself inside of me, not waiting for either of us to adjust before he set a brutal rhythm.

Lightning shot up my spine, a strange shock to my system, like something inside of me was alive—awake. Bellamy jolted, as if he felt it too, before letting his body lean forward, pressing into mine. He bent his head, tucking it near my neck to whisper into my ear.

“Can you feel how wet you are for me? How perfectly I fit inside of you? If souls can be one, then ours are, Princess. Just as surely as I am yours, you are mine.” For the first time, I did not feel the need to correct him. Rather than losing a piece of myself, I wondered if this was just a part of becoming whole.

Sliding my fingers down his back, I nodded again, my breathing heavy as he sped up. “Drop your shield, demon. Let me in.”

Without hesitation, he did, his thumb once more circling that spot between my thighs. I entered his mind with a gasp, digging my nails into his shoulder blades for purchase when my head got too close to the headboard. I saw him reach up, a single hand pressed against the shaking piece of wood as I spoke into his mind.

I love you. There is no force in this world that could stop me from doing so. Not even time and space can keep me from you. If we exist beyond this life, then I will find you every time. I am yours, and you are mine.

Letting go of the headboard, he slid the arm beneath me, securing it around my back. The other left my center and went to my neck, tightening as he placed a desperate kiss to my lips. And when his release spilled within me, I found myself tipping over that edge too, crying out against his mouth from the satisfaction. It rolled through me in waves, like the sea crashing against the shore.

As always, being with Bellamy this way was like breathing for the first time after being held beneath water. The force of oxygen entering my body was a shock that brought relief through eager inhales.

While we caught our breath, Bellamy leaned back, staring at me. Not for the first time, I watched him break before my eyes, tears running down his cheeks as his raspy voice brought us back to reality.

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